I have a sad tale to tell.

And I’m going to start with a reference to Christine’s recent graduation. How do you deal with disappointment?

In recent times people have become obsessed with the idea of being healthy, although most people just loaf about downing caffeine like water while watchin’ Oprah. But I must admit, I’m fine with health nuts… I even cavort about town with them. I have no problem if you like go to Trader Joe’s and spend an exorbitant amount of money on oranges… see if I care.

But I do care about certain things, like chicken. Everyone that knows me knows how I feel about chicken… you can keep your cow, pig or squirrel (or whatever meat you like) and just hand me some chicken. I’ll be happy.

I must also admit… I love all types of chicken. Seriously, it’s all good (except beaks and feet, thank you) Especially my beloved fried chicken. A favorite at diners, amusement parks and with the Colonel.

Now as I mentioned the world is becoming healthier. And as an added observation, some extremists like to ruin things for everyone.  And they usually start this by accusing companies like McDonalds of killing and endangering children. When there has never been an actual case of Ronald McDonald threatening mothers to buy Crispy-Mc-This-and-that’s or he was going to blow their brains out. It is quite honestly people’s penchant to overindulge and Mc Flurry themselves to death. Yet again, NOT MY PROBLEM.

It is my problem when you those said extremists get to big corporations and they eradicate the problem so they no longer have to hear about it.

Little did I know about Disneyland’s new food menu.

I went to Disneyland and after a few rides I said “mmmm fried chicken sounds good.” So I scooted my way to the French Market, which serves fried chicken and taters as well as clam chowder in a loaf. Or so I thought.

I stared at the menu, and it glared back FRIED CHICKENLESS. The closest thing they had to offer was Citrus Glazed Chicken. Which although delicious sounding was not what I craved.

So I ran to the Riverboat Terrace to see if my nightmare was a reality. When I saw that they had only Turkey breast, and salad on their menu… my heart broke, for Disney had shunned my fried chicken.

Banished it even.

When I asked why? I was told to buy chicken nuggets… NUGGETS!! There shall be no $7.00 circular nuggets for me, thank you.

Now Fried Chicken only exists at the Plaza Inn (the loudest and most child infested restaurant in the Magical Kingdom), for $14.

Rain on my dreams and dash all my hope of golden delicious chicken. It’s not like I bathe in the chicken or force it on toddlers…. I just like it’s Americana like deliciousness.

And finally, shame on the hippies… I would never make anyone take tofu off the menu.  

♫LAUREN