amber

The Happy Place

| Viciously Sweet

I haven’t had time to draw lately.

It’s all work and well more work… and work on the weekend to make deadlines kind of work.

Needless to say the sun is not the only thing burning me out during the 8-5 of it all.

In fact all this work has made me feel uber dull. In fact I was feeling like when Spongebob stopped being silly and devoted his life to becoming more normal:

I felt like I lost that silly spark of mine.

I had this terrifying dream on Monday night of me being in a beige blazer in a cubicle, doing spread sheets and i couldn’t get them to print right on my 80’s dot matrix printer. Basically I was Jane Fonda in 9-5 and I was hating my existence:

I feel bad that she had to wear this outfit… I feel worse that I was wearing it’s beige cousin in my dreams.

And I felt trapped. This horrible amount work is controlling everything do. I mean is was even in my dreams!

I was only really resuscitated yesterday by a day of severe office goofing off… my deadlines were over and the new guy is really fun to be goofy with.

This is kind of what yesterday was like… but more like this with ruler jousting.

… and making bottle launchers, and playing pranks on Amber. (Who I think secretly enjoyed the weird screensaver and Rick-rolling.)

So in a better state of mind from a less stressful work load. I decided to get back into a doodly state of mind. I looked in my vast archives to find a doodle I made when I was a completely joy enraptured state.

And I found this stunning brainstorming cloud up in my fancy notebook. It explains the perfect storm of my personal happiness:

Just some things that put a smile on my face.

And reading all my silly joys just brought me right back to my giggly self.

I am sitting here thinking about vinyl records, the beach, how very nice the blanket I have stuffed in my work desk feels. I have a feeling the rest of my day may just be awesome.

Also I think I have a great idea for a series of things that make me and others go “Oooh.” Be prepared. Tell me things that make you go “Oooh” too… and you never know what can be doodled from that!

♥Lauren

(All images that are not mine are courtesy of Tumblr)

Not the New Mother Teresa

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I have been vacationing. Or as cool hip people say “Stay-cationing”.

And it was nice.

Got to see my family. Got a super cool tan on just my arms.

But let’s be honest. I am not Justin Timberlake and I must go back to work a lot sooner than in 7 years. The poor girl I am got more like 4 days (3 if you count one of them was a national holiday). And so I got into the office kind of keeping a low profile as I left the office last week with pretty cold feelings about the dudes I work with.

I got through to lunch by talking to Amber, getting my work done… and very seriously ignoring the other 2 like crazy.

And then I went to the bathroom, and I was engaged in small talk. With the more silent, but equally insulting person I work with. A person who before I went on my break called me “the weirdest person he’s ever met” without humor behind it and who had previously told me some pretty cruel unasked for observations on my personality. A real stand up kind of dude, if you would.

While I was talking to him about my family’s trip and a really strange day to pick at Disneyland. BECAUSE HE ASKED, I REMIND YOU! I notice another coworker giving him a look and then rolling his eyes at me. They both looked at each other and smiled. And I don’t know what that meant, but I knew it was about them being straight up not nice people.

To quote Stephanie Tanner:

Seriously Rude. Image courtesy of Gifrific.com

Usually I try to take their insults with stride, trying to be the bigger person. But I am quite candidly done. I am not running for new Mother Teresa. After that special conversation I realized, I am not crazy about them, and I don’t find them to be respectful characters in my life. But seriously, I had only talked to them for about 3 minutes in a whole work day.

I cannot forgive their rudeness today. I mean they only have to see me for 3 days, why can’t they just be pleasant?!?!?!

Well at least this conversation left me inspired to make today’s doodle:

This may hinder my need for a tattoo across my stomach that says “PUGLIFE” when I leave this profession to become a world famous pug dealer… but it may be more helpful for my life in general.

I hope everyone else’s day was a little less rude. Also, I have permanent marker all over my hands because I cannot handle pens…

Now I’m going to draw sections of buildings and be happy.

♥Lauren

 

Amber Protocol: Tri-folds and Tribulations

| Viciously Sweet

We all have our protocol quirks in my office.

-Proper phone etiquette is a biggie. (I always tell people to have a nice day when I say my professional tidings.)

-Being more streamlined. (this is all the Professional.)

-Getting our deadlines done. (I think most people want this.)

-Not having a break-room full of ants (sane people.)

-Refilling the water for the Keurig (People who don’t want the world to end. My boss wants coffee.)

-Getting prints at a good quality (the printer is my nemesis )

-Using the tri-pod to take project photos (Ahem, Professional)

-Not having enough bullet points (it seems like enough, now :) )

And well now I know one of my new desk mates big professional gripes… incorrectly folding invoices:

She’s going to judge you and your whole company if it has that weird extra bit folded over the rest of it.

So remember when you send us stuff, and you want Amber to not be mad… tri-fold it like you mean it.

Does anybody else have a serious office procedural quirk? Or just how you think things should be done? Are we just crazy in this office?

The world may never know.

♥Lauren

A visual study of Amber’s Headache

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So Amber has a headache today. And she told me that it was killing her brain.

After instructing her to make her pain into glorious art she handed me this glorious friend:

“Headache” by Amber-guesa

 

Enjoy it and savor the fact your head has no red lightning bolts attacking it today. Also, Amber does not believe she is an artist…. But I believe she is a very good one!!!

♥Lauren

p.s. my favorite part is that she is naked, in her drawing and while she answers phones.

Let’s get lost in Happiness

| Viciously Sweet

So I have had a killer workday ahead of me. In fact yesterday, I worked 9 hours on something I couldn’t even explain to anyone if I tried. I just recolored blocks in a computer program over and over again. So quite candidly I can say… those blocks, are really really colored. And everything else well… it didn’t get done.

And I have had a headache since last week that is made up of stress and allergies… because it’s been so windy where I live. I actually feel the north wind is telling me I should run away like, Juliette Binoche in Chocolat and start my own store of drinks and doodles. Where that weird French guy can judge how I would rather live a happy life than the life of a nun, and Johnny Depp can be my sexy repairman.  But that is for later, and deadlines are for now.

Amber came back into the office yesterday and was super optimistic. She made me remember all the things I learned in the last few weeks by watching movies with Paul Rudd in them. Wanderlust, My Idiot Brother, the Baxter. All of these movies made my last few weeks. All of them have helped me realize what I really need.

Happiness.

The only thing is I have to do is go find what that is to me right now. And since I’m currently at work I can try to think about it. I hope you can do it too… wherever you are at:

Right now I’m listening to music and trying to think about what would make me happy… not feeling trapped in this office would be nice.

♥Lauren

The Pro’s and Con’s of Cornucopias

| Viciously Sweet

Hi Internet. This is a new type of post for me. It’s a pro/con subject matter. And this one is about cornucopia’s. If you find yourself questioning the existence of the horn of plenty… this is the article Phil Collins would say you’ve been waiting for all your life.

Pro Cornucopia: Amber’s side of the cornucopia debate

I’m indifferent.  They just hold fruit and stuff… I don’t see the big deal.

I don’t love them or hate them.

Indifferently yours,

Amber

Con Cornucopia: Lauren’s Cornucopia Conundrum

It’s Lauren. And I have something to tell you. I don’t like cornucopia’s. The back story of this is that when I was a kid I loved to check the brand new calendar to see what day of the week my birthday was. Like every other cool kid out there I prayed it never landed on a Wednesday… because it would be too far to wait for a weekend! But the calendar always had alternative plans for me…

Unlike my sister who was born in July and usually had beautiful pictures of fireworks. And my parents born in June had beaches, summer in full swing. And both Christine and Isabel born in March who would have fields of gorgeous flowers for their calendar month. And the children of December who had these fantastic winter scenes, Christmas, promises for the New Year… and of course October and September riddled with the most gorgeous changing leaf colors you have ever seen. And then there was November… and the Cornucopia.

It was on a table, near a turkey, with a pilgrim, with an Indian. It was featured by itself, it was outside marring the beautiful scenery. But it was always there. And even on the calendars without a picture it would sneak its little wicker basket self in there.

Horns of sadness is more like it

And when I grew up I started to resent it, not just because of the beauty of the other months. But because the cornucopia was always so forced. I never remember us having one for any other day. I don’t remember getting a cornucopia to celebrate the crisp days of autumn, from a horn of plenty lot. Actually it was just wicker with plastic fruit on my grandma’s kitchen table. And it was only out for Thanksgiving. Now here is the moment we can all admit it’s not as charming as a Christmas tree, it’s not as fun as an Easter basket stuffed with candy, and it definitely could not hold a candle to a pink foiled doily valentine, heck it can’t even compete with Flag Day. It’s just a wicker horn with vegetables in it. And since I never have had to live a cold winter clutching my wicker horn to get me through the long nights, I just can’t get into it.

I also want to take this time to share from first to sixth grade I had to color the same cornucopia color page… every year. It may have even been this picture:

linked from family color pages. Featuring Families that color horns of seasonal fruits and vegetables

And one more thing about cornucopia’s. They are not even very convenient. I mean I don’t carry around horns of water. Or horns of markers. When I go to the market I don’t say “Horn” when they ask “Paper or plastic”. There are so many better ways to hold things. Bags, boxes, those little packs on the sides of mules. I just don’t get their horn-shaped allure.

And although this week I will get to see my family and eat wonderful food with them. And I will have a fantastic time… there is just a little hesitation knowing that a horned foe may show up. I just hope that we have plenty too cumbersome to fit in that wicker horn… if you know what I mean.

Happy Thanksgiving week everybody. Decorate accordingly.

Lauren

The Goal

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I have very odd selected daily goals, and the weirder they are the joy of completing them is greater.

At work I have many professional goals… you know deadlines and the sort… but I always keep some spare time for a little giggly goal.

And this goal is not really a secret:

Today I read her a exterior canvas catalog in a spicy Marilyn Monroe kind of accent. We both laughed so hard we had to stop… and somehow I ended up shoe-less.

Talk about that you talk-talkers.

♥Lauren

Doodler’s Anonymous

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So the Professional moratorium on my mischief has not been successful. Telling me that I have to be good is like asking me to be bad. And it’s totally my own fault, I give into the temptation of me.

So anyways as certainly as my cubicle neighbor has a Gangnam problem, I have a problem with the good old paper and pen. I just realized I have nearly filled my 2012 doodle sketchbook. that is 176 pages front and back… and 1-4 doodles per page side. I only have 7 pages left, and the front inner cover and back cover are already filled.

Hi I’m Lauren, and I have a doodling problem:

I would get help… but I’d rather just draw about it

♥Lauren

The Secret Professional

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So a few people have been asking… what is going on with the professional? Why are there no posts any more guiding me to the professional promise land? This has a complicated answer… as earlier this year the professional we knew did a King Edward VII , and abdicated his professional throne. The Kingdom of Professionalism was then thrown into anarchy and professional turmoil,  after the great battle and the “Treaty of Dab and Lauren” an interesting event transpired…

I think there is a new professional in town… and her name is my name too.

And I don’t know when it happened. I feel like some sort of were-professional…

In the last week:

♥ I have been carrying business cards in my purse

♥ I was caught updating my contact list

♥ I’ve worked late 2 nights in a row

♥ I’ve had a business meeting after work hours

♥ I used the term “collated” more than once in the last 8 hours

♥ I’ve been making lists with bullet points! (Although, the bullets are love hearts ♥)

Anyways the polls are in and it looks like I’m the new professional in town:

And on a “I work in a weird place” side note yesterday Amber and I took a quiz about who we are in the office and this was my answer:

And I was not surprised. That description is my 8-5, every Monday-Friday. The only difference is I have no Jim to giggle with all day… Okay, I’m going to go CC: people on some work like things ;)

♥Lauren