Things for All the Time: Elvira Outfit

Now this is really not a shocking story to add to the “Things for all the Time” cannon.
But when I was a kid in the bustling neon world of the 1980s I was totally enthralled with Elvira.

Like, I wanted to be her when I grew up. The thought of having huge hair, fun make-up, that poodle with a mohawk, was one of the most thrilling possibilities I could come up with.

And plus she gets to make fun of herself for a living, and watch awesome movies.

For a mere $40 Halloween Town wants to help make my Mistress of the Dark realities a real thing.
And not just for Halloween:

Just imagine sitting behind me in a movie theater with that hair.

Sometimes Dreams Really Do Come True

We all have trials and tribulations, some bigger than others.

Some that stay with us for our entire life, this doodle shares with you some of the hardships I faced as a child:

And for those who know about how much I like chicken, you can just imagine the heartache. But now that I make my own money, and am an adult, I can eat all the chicken that I need to get by (and, then some.)

For those of you unfamiliar with my love of chicken, here is a great example of my relationship with chicken:

Have a Happy Friday!

P.S. Also on a side note into my real life… Today my recently engaged sister purchased her wedding dress, and I got my bridesmaid dress. Chicken was had by all!

Also next week there will be so many more professional quotes!

Alternate Career path pt. 7

Christine has always had an intense desire to be a spokesmodel.

As a child she would adorn herself with jewels from QVC and attempted to sell them with her Siamese cat Maui to the other Siamese cats in her household. Although the cats never purchased anything, she did successfully resell several things to her own mother.

One day she saw a commercial with Celebrity guest Cher discussing beauty products… she knew that if she were a spokesperson she could sell the heck out of anything and be adored by all the gay bears out there,  just like the curly haired Cher. Christine then started strategizing to which product she could sell to  the unsuspecting world…

One day Christine found that opportunity in the greatest exercise invention in the last 42 years… the THIGH MASTER! She realized that she could not only sell the heck out of the THIGH MASTER but greatly improve thigh aesthetics worldwide.

Now the only thing she had to do was dispose of the current THIGH MASTER seller Suzanne Somer’s. Christine made great lengths in sullying her competitions name such as accusing her of thigh implants, attacking the elderly, and of being 72% robotic. Her attempts however failed because she was deemed not Blonde enough to fill the shoes of Ms. Somer’s by the League of THIGH MASTER’s… She thusly died her hair orange, and decided to attend high school with other non-celebrity spokespeople… like Isabel and Lauren.

She does sometimes fantasize what her life would be like if she had removed Suzzane from her THIGH MASTER throne…

basically she’d have thighs that could be licensed as a lethal weapon…


Alternate Career Path pt. 6

Many years ago, on a day very much like today a little girls life changed…this epiphany occured in the windy city of Chicago when Marlene had her first raspado.

The heaven’s shown upon her in this moment of time she pondered the meaning of her life in terms of this delicious flavored ice. She thought of the opportunities she could have, she thought of all the places she’d travel to peddling her snow cones for the world to enjoy.  But she realized sno-cone representatives were a dime a dozen. She needed another marketable aspect, and took to the practice of fortune telling.

She spent her childhood mixing new exotic flavors for her adoring flavored ice public and learning tarot cards… imagining how much they would enjoy mango-lemonade raspado while getting their palms read. She could see the day when all the traffic in the state of Illinois could be soothed if everyone just had access to her wonder-ice, and affordable knowledge of future traffic events.

She also knew the best way to share her delicious treats with the world was to get good publicity. Marlene then wrote a letter to the savior of Illinois… Oprah Winfrey. Ms. Winfrey stunned by the business savvy of the young Marlene decided to put her on her show and display a young entrepreneur/entertainer.  She was booked to be on the show and then the unthinkable happened, she was bumped due to the length of time Oprah shared the screen with talented poodles  who could also mow a lawn.

Distraught Marlene dashed to the streets where a slow moving churro cart was chugging across town. This young psyhcic could have never seen what was going to happen… there was a crash… and suddenly churros and ice filled the streets.

Marlene never recovered from this flavorful disaster, so she became interested in speech patterns of whales. She is currently thought to be teaching the whales to tell fortunes…

your endeavors of raspado dealing as well as traveling psychic will always be remembered.


Alternate Career Paths pt. 1

David’s love of water and splashing could have led him to being a brilliant seal trainer at Sea World, if he hadn’t missed that important day in the second grade when he had a cold. Instead he attended school on Jan 13th 1995 and  became fascincated with becoming an engineer…

Things could have been so different.