Okay so have you ever wondered who would play you n a movie about your life… well I have and then I went to myheritage.com to play with their celebrity look a like machine.
So I thought I would have maximum fun and put a picture with both Christine and Isabel… and then I was given these most awesome results… WE WOULD ALL BE PLAYED BY VERY VERY WHITE LADIES.
And for some reason Isabel would be an Olsen Twin.
And the lobster would be played by Hugh Crant.
Tagline: Beware of Stranger Danger…
Soundtrack featuring: “Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell
Will Christine ever get her extra cheese pizza? Should she just have gone to BJ’s instead??? She probably wanted loaf anyways…
It is a well known fact that Christine likes her men old, and wrinkly. (Ahem, Dave Foley and Alex Trebek) But Christine’s search for the affections of the elderly have gotten her into trouble a few times… (not just that time at Coco’s early bird buffet.)
There was once a moment where Christine could have ripped a family man from his den of iniquity. Yes, that is correct… she once had stolen the affection of acclaimed actor Brad Pitt. He showered her in pizookies and BJ’s paraphernalia, he took her to London (she totally lied about going to school,) they danced the night away on private Margarita Mondays… and then one day she realized that if he left Angelina he would show up with boatload of kids to her apartment… an actual BOATLOAD and Claremont is no where near the water!!
She knew their love could no longer thrive as it once had…
♫LAUREN
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINE & ISABEL!!!
Christine was filled to the brim with Irish lovin’ on St. Patrick’s day…
see the proof below:
note: Colin Farrell does have the most luscious of folicles.
♫LAUREN
It has been known for quite some time that Christine has had a penchant for the elderly. She was the only girl at St. Lucy’s with a pin-up of Dave Foley… if you know what I mean.
It was only recently that we found out the true scope of her old man passions…
The truth is more than mildy horrifying.
♫LAUREN
Christine has always had an intense desire to be a spokesmodel.
As a child she would adorn herself with jewels from QVC and attempted to sell them with her Siamese cat Maui to the other Siamese cats in her household. Although the cats never purchased anything, she did successfully resell several things to her own mother.
One day she saw a commercial with Celebrity guest Cher discussing beauty products… she knew that if she were a spokesperson she could sell the heck out of anything and be adored by all the gay bears out there, just like the curly haired Cher. Christine then started strategizing to which product she could sell to the unsuspecting world…
One day Christine found that opportunity in the greatest exercise invention in the last 42 years… the THIGH MASTER! She realized that she could not only sell the heck out of the THIGH MASTER but greatly improve thigh aesthetics worldwide.
Now the only thing she had to do was dispose of the current THIGH MASTER seller Suzanne Somer’s. Christine made great lengths in sullying her competitions name such as accusing her of thigh implants, attacking the elderly, and of being 72% robotic. Her attempts however failed because she was deemed not Blonde enough to fill the shoes of Ms. Somer’s by the League of THIGH MASTER’s… She thusly died her hair orange, and decided to attend high school with other non-celebrity spokespeople… like Isabel and Lauren.
She does sometimes fantasize what her life would be like if she had removed Suzzane from her THIGH MASTER throne…
basically she’d have thighs that could be licensed as a lethal weapon…
Today I would like to shine some light onto our friend John Bigler.
He was the third govenor of California.
He is signed into law that Sacramento was to be California’s state capitol.
He contracted Cholera in his hometown of Sacramento.
I believe he may have done other things, as you can see by his portrait it is believed that he likes crinkling paper, and wearing suits. It also appears that he does not like the wall decorations, or crossword puzzles. As you can also see he was not a fan of the bolo tie. It is believed that if he lived in modern times he would probably drive a prius, and his favorite restaurant would be CPK.
I also believe he and Christine would be very good friends (see I don’t always pick on Isabel)
Today is his birthday.
and sorry to Angel, I had to photoshop over someone…
♫LAUREN
Viciously Sweet 