Don’t cry… don’t cry…
Being a billionare and well known celebrity… means you don’t always take rejection well.
Eric… I don’t think she’s taking this well. I heard she’s booked Whitney Houston to sing love songs. And she’s destroying the mix tapes.
♫LAUREN
condron.us
Our President and tonights Chaperone… Barack Obama
Wait a minute doesn’t Oprah know there is a republican in their midst… sounds like trouble to me…
♫LAUREN
condron.us
Oh to be a part of the Glamorous Jet Set lifestyle… you know the flossy flossy.
Well since becoming Oprah’s main squeeze (of syrup) Eric has found out what it’s like to be Fergie… or Peter Pan…
Insert your own joke about her song “London Bridge” because Eric’s been singing it since he got there. Oprah has been seen taking Eric all around town taking him to see her favorite large clock Big Ben. As you can see in the picture below they were dangerously close to Westminster Abbey… does this mean wedding bells are in the future??
Shrugging off wedding rumors Eric had only this to say “Our love is like the second star to the right.”
Umm Eric… keep singing Fergie songs.
♫LAUREN
condron.us
In a shocking twist it turns out that Eric was also in Paris at the same time as Clay and Isabel…
After an short and uneventful affair with Lindsay Lohan… Eric has found new and everlasting love with Oprah Winfrey.
To quote Eric “[Lindsay] is too small boned for me”. Well Eric it seems like you have now struck the mother load of ladies with plenty of bone… and chunkies. And as it turns out they both love syrup.
And when she pointed at him and shouted “You get a trip to Paris,” Eric knew she felt the same way.
To make the battle even more Epic it appears they were looking down at Clay and Isabel eating, literally through a telescope. Which is kind of weird… But C’est la vie.
When asked about Oprah, Eric could only say “Honestly, I am so full of your love right now, I literally could not take another drop.”
♫LAUREN
condron.us
Many years ago, on a day very much like today a little girls life changed…this epiphany occured in the windy city of Chicago when Marlene had her first raspado.
The heaven’s shown upon her in this moment of time she pondered the meaning of her life in terms of this delicious flavored ice. She thought of the opportunities she could have, she thought of all the places she’d travel to peddling her snow cones for the world to enjoy. But she realized sno-cone representatives were a dime a dozen. She needed another marketable aspect, and took to the practice of fortune telling.
She spent her childhood mixing new exotic flavors for her adoring flavored ice public and learning tarot cards… imagining how much they would enjoy mango-lemonade raspado while getting their palms read. She could see the day when all the traffic in the state of Illinois could be soothed if everyone just had access to her wonder-ice, and affordable knowledge of future traffic events.
She also knew the best way to share her delicious treats with the world was to get good publicity. Marlene then wrote a letter to the savior of Illinois… Oprah Winfrey. Ms. Winfrey stunned by the business savvy of the young Marlene decided to put her on her show and display a young entrepreneur/entertainer. She was booked to be on the show and then the unthinkable happened, she was bumped due to the length of time Oprah shared the screen with talented poodles who could also mow a lawn.
Distraught Marlene dashed to the streets where a slow moving churro cart was chugging across town. This young psyhcic could have never seen what was going to happen… there was a crash… and suddenly churros and ice filled the streets.
Marlene never recovered from this flavorful disaster, so she became interested in speech patterns of whales. She is currently thought to be teaching the whales to tell fortunes…
your endeavors of raspado dealing as well as traveling psychic will always be remembered.
♫LAUREN
Viciously Sweet 