work

This is why I cut you

| Viciously Sweet

I have been extra spicy lately. And by that I mean a little more bite your face off.
Now I only really notice this when I am at work and I think it could be for the following reasons:

1. I am suffering from “cubicle fever.” I honest to goodness feel the 8×8 yellow walls closing in on me…
2. It is quieter than mime hell in this office. And I’m not the only one here? What kind of frothy hell am I in?
3. The office penguin needs a fresh new hat. Pirate Penguins are so last season.
4. The temperature in the office is set on make Lauren into “Encino Man.” And I’m not really into Brendan Fraser.
5. I really want to see my new niece. She’s so fresh.
6. There is no “Mad Men” on TV. And it’s what I want, what I really really want.
7. The Beach boys do not enunciate their words in “Barbara Ann.” This is an absolute concern to me today.
8. I want to be dressed like Elvira, for all the rest of time. But no one can handle me being that provocative. Also I don’t think that hair will fit in my car.
9.The apple I brought to work today was supposed to be a “golden delicious,” and it was more of a “yellow mushy”… also it tasted only like wet.
10. I only remembered 175 countries out of the 198 countries in the world. Darn you Caribbean Islands, especially you Grenada. Because I totally forgot you existed.

I’m in serious need of a Photoshop break.

♫Lauren

Professional Quote of the Day: October 7th

| Viciously Sweet

Good Afternoon PQOTD fans!

Eric has basically been on a professional sabbatical since his return from the Houston, Texas which is affectionately called “Space City” by the people.

Because of this there has been a lack of professional quotes… Thank goodness for the countless historians who have a back catalog of professional moments.

With that introduction I bring you a classic Professional Eric quote that I believe had something to do with a personal AutoCAD error:

TECHNOLOGY:1
MAN:0

♫Lauren

Professional Quote of the Day: October 6th

| Viciously Sweet

Good Afternoon PQOTD’RS!
There has been a lot happening in the professional world in the last few days.

In our office while printing a floor plan, our beloved plotter took a turn for the worse. She is now in a technological induced coma (turned off.)

While brazenly trying to save her, professional Eric realized that she need’s a specialist. The specialist may have not used the most technical terms when describing Crystal’s problem… and that is when the PQOTD happened:

Future advice to all the professional enthusiasts: If you want to talk to Professional Eric, you must get technical with him.

♫Lauren

Professional Quote of the Day: October 5th

| Viciously Sweet

Today’s PQOTD came in just under the wire. This little nugget of joy was created on a phone conversation like 10 minutes ago…

Sometimes speed is important to the life of a professional, as demonstrated in the quote below:

Basically, upload speed fast-ness is like the Indianapolis 500 to a professional. And professionals have a need for speed.

And not like a Charlie Sheen need for speed, if you know what I mean.

♫lauren

Wishing my days were swankier

| Viciously Sweet

I’m a big fan of that 1960’s look
Big hair, Big cars, men looking real nice in their suits:

(This was a nice way to use a Picture of Jon Hamm… who is the most hammsome guy in America, that joke is never old)
And women wore bad ass clothes… every day!

I wish I had a team of stylists to help a girl out. Stylists make Jessica Simpson look like she bathes for crying out loud. Think of what they could do for the already clean.

Onto Banana Republic to get those Leopard shoes!
♫Lauren

Just a little Crazy

| Viciously Sweet

So Amber sometimes gets really mad.

This usually coincides with one or more circumstances
1. She’s being harassed by staples (the store, not the paper binding object)
2. She is angry at some professional entity (see Professional Eric)
3. She just lost that monopoly card game

This is the results:

CRAZY. AS . HECTERINES. (WHICH IS A NECTARINE FROM HELL)
♫Lauren

Professional Quote of the day: September 9th

| Viciously Sweet

On this casual friday on this September day, one of the best things ever was said at lunch…
With that brief and beautiful intro, I bring you the professional Quote of the day:

Which is the only professional way to lunch, otherwise your waiter may not know you are a treasured professional. And that would be heartbreaking to the Treasured Professionals Union (TPU, if you would.)

And just in case your all like… whoa girl, that isn’t funny at all.
There is this barely photoshopped photo of Eric (seriously, I only added one letter):


P.S. Hey there, reflection of Dab!

Happy Friday!
♫Lauren