Author: Viciously Sweet

Alternate Career Path pt. 4

| Viciously Sweet

Today’s look at childhood dream jobs focuses on the dreams of Caitlin.

In the early 1990’s Caitlin, an avid fan of Reebok’s and tie-dye spandex shorts had a secret dream. Unlike most little girls who dreamed of being teachers, and ballerinas, and foley artists… Caitlin dreamed of becoming a professional grade worm digger.

She spent many summer afternoons shoulder deep in the muddy fields digging for her wriggly friends. She would place them in worm condos and dream of the days she could have a worm farm and sell them for profit. She even tried to sell them roadside (like a lemonade stand.) But not many people were interested in buying worms… 

 

She then tried to train them and create a worm circus… but this too was a short lived dream, as two of her star worms refused to perform with less experienced worms.

Caitlin became absurdly distraught and moved across the country… now she lives a worm-free lifestyle in California, with her fiancee John, and a dog named Lily…

…but if things had gone the way she planned she would be the owner of the nations largest worm plantation…

Remember… on the internet all your dreams are alive.

♫LAUREN

Alternate Career Path pt. 3

| Viciously Sweet

As a child Isabel dreamed of many things like puppies, Wild Omar, and Clay Aiken. Little did many know that Isabel also dreamed of becoming an RV Saleslady.

Yes, it is true Isabel loved the idea of low interest loans and signing contracts. She adored the thought of sliding over the keys to a crisp new Winnebago to an adventurous retired couple.

It is fabled that she spent many a night decorating her room to look like a car lot selling anything with wheels to her syblings and collection of Barbie’s. Isabel was a natural born saleswoman.

However her dream was never meant to be a reality… during one night the sticky Wildomarian winds ripped through her room runing her car lot diorama… and turning her bedroom into a sticky mess.

She was devastated, and mildly slimey.

She then went to her second plan, working with rats and cells and becoming a scientist.

on the internet your dreams can come alive

♫LAUREN

Isabel and Clay: Origins

| Viciously Sweet

Many people around the globe have been intrigued with the connection between Isabel and Clay Aiken. Many have asked how long has this “connection” been going on?

The answer may shock and amaze you, as we share with you this awesome exclusive content from Isabel’s childhood.

As you can see from the photograph below Isabel and Clay have know eachother for years… they’re admiration has since grown in trifold!

Here is a photo of them as young tender friends celebrating weird basket day…

What a TENDER GOOD TIME!!!

In fact Isabel’s own mother was not aware of the magnitude of dressing Isabel in this fine outfit. She just thought it was a clever catchphrase all the kids were into, she didn’t realize it was the start of an odd fascination that would stick with her first born forever.

Isabel and Clay a love that has lasted a lifetime… what a feel good story

♫LAUREN

Alternate Career Path pt. 2

| Viciously Sweet

Many years ago there was a little Eric that was fated to become the voice of our generation… until he met video games.

As a young child Eric would roam the streets with his dog earred copy of So you want to be President?sharing with anyone that would listen to him about his political platforms such as … candies for everyone, tropical shirt Tuesdays, and universal kittens.

 

 

 

 

 (he really owns this book, except his version is highlighted, and has notes and post-ts all over it)

FUN FACT! his favorite helpful hint is #46 answer questions with more questions…

 

 

This however all changed one night whilst playing F22 Interceptor. Eric realized that  playing video games was much more fun than his history and government homework. His interest in the presidency wained as he continued to play with the television screen glowing deep into the night.  At the age of 12 after eating at the Red Lobster he decided he would much prefer to be a lobster whisperer…

And when that didn’t pan out the way he had hoped for…

…he decided on industrial technology.

This is the future Eric could have had if he had become a politician…

(note his tropical shirt and lobster awareness button)

 

this would have been his campaign… (as you can see he’s been teased about this before)

take your “Change” actual president Obama… Eric would have brought the people of the United States “Good Times”

 

Things could have been so different.

♫LAUREN

Alternate Career Paths pt. 1

| Viciously Sweet

David’s love of water and splashing could have led him to being a brilliant seal trainer at Sea World, if he hadn’t missed that important day in the second grade when he had a cold. Instead he attended school on Jan 13th 1995 and  became fascincated with becoming an engineer…

Things could have been so different.

♫LAUREN

The Mc Feel-its

| Viciously Sweet

Some people have been wondering what it would have been like if Isabel, Christine and I were in fact a 1960s girl group…

or maybe they haven’t…

but if we were this would be our story:

One of the most popular gospel bands of the 1960s… The McFeel-its.

This cheery threesome would traverse the United States and Canada spreading the word of Jesus with cheerful songs about the Lord and all his friends.  They were known to have large coifs in which they held all their worldly possessions. Sometimes they would have a bible, a deck of cards, harmonicas, and even a toaster located conveniently in their follicles. After all, they weren’t nuns :)

They became very famous in the New Brunswick region of Canada, where they set up a small theatre called “Mc Touch this Theatre”. There they performed all their hits including “Thar be My Jesus,” “The Lord’s Rap,” and “Holy Paradise” (which Coolio sampled for his song ‘Gangsta’s Paradise’)  to sold out audiences. There performances were sold out for eight years straight, due to the fact there was little to do in New Brunswick.

In 1968 Christine McFeel-it left the group to create her own Religious  inspired sweatshirt line called “Lord Gear,” which was also very successful in New Brunswick

In 1973 the rest of the group disbanded due to neck injuries after packing their bouffants for a European tour, so they too returned to scenic New Brunswick. Where they later opened the “Immaculate Cafe & Grill”

Here is the album cover for their most critically acclaimed album…

oo ooo ooo ms feel this...

all their dreams are alive…

♫LAUREN

El Matador… Jimmy

| Viciously Sweet

Architecture was not Jimmy’s first career choice but after the terrible cape accident of 99′, Jimmy could no longer flex in the proper manner to fight the bull. He had to hang up his montera (snazzy hat) and award winning tights to find a new career…

The only other thing he could figure was to be an architect, because he had no interest in being a politician.

Jimmy the internet will never forget your dreams….

 

♫LAUREN