I have a cat his name is Elliott.
Elliott likes to do many things, like eating, breaking my mother’s possessions and sleeping.
Here likes to sleep on towels, my head, my pillow, the window sill, his kitty scratchy tube, any person he can sit on, and….
♫Lauren
I didn’t forget about Story Time with Lauren!
Today I bring you a poem about a Jimmy/Abraham Lincoln hybrid:
His Name is Jimbraham Lincoln,
He wakes up in the morning yawning and blinkin’…
When he looks at the ladies he cannot stop winkin’
and he likes to end his days with some tea and fried chinkin’
♫Lauren
I like to name animals I meet. Sometimes I name them after celebrities.
♫Lauren
Many moons ago Christine desired to travel the world with her sign languaged enabled chimp friend “Mr. Yoyo”
She thought it would be just like The Jungle Book, but then discovered that it was nothing really like that at all.
And that in real jungles there are real volcanos.
So she instead sold Mr Yoyo and watched “Arrested Development.”
THE END.
♫Lauren
Yesterday, Madame Tussaud’s exhibited their latest wax figure, of non celebrity Kim Kardashian.
I think this means that Madam Tussaud’s has officially ran out of people to make into wax statues of. Because this was totally unneccessary.
My sister and I have compiled a list of more deserving “celebrities” to make that waxy leap:
1. Television starlet and media mogul, Judge Judy:
2. Steve Buscemi, we prefer his look from the wedding singer:
3. Brother of Charlie Sheen and mighty duck aficionado Emilio Estevez:
4. Reality TV darling Flavor Flav, hopefully in this pose:
5. The Jackson 5’s cuddly and adorable Marlon Jackson, in a member’s only jacket:
6. Superfreaky Rick James (but not the mary jane girls)
7. Wouldn’t you love to grab your price scanner and get a photo with Flo from Progressive?
8. The whitest and nerdiest Weird Al:
9. How about the Stay Puft Marshmallow man from Ghostbusters?
10. And finally the scandalous and sexiest boat captain alive… the Gorton’s fisherman:
♫Lauren
Today Jimmy has to travel the world. He has to travel out of the valley and to the glimmering Long Beach coast.
I imagine his unusual journey as an event similar to the Oregon Trail.
The first screen would be Jimmy leaving his office:
You’d have to stack up on supplies like Tea, and CD’s
And then you of course consult the map:
You may have to forge the LA River.
Oh no you were caught by a seal! Are you prepared??
You have lost one wheel and two bottles of Tea.
Did you have seal repellant? If not you, you have now lost your hand.
Continue:
You have encountered traffic, please wait.
45 minutes later:
30 minutes later:
You arrived at Long Beach.
End
Press [Spacebar] to play again!
♫Lauren
I’m pretty sure their world cup is full of fish.
♫Lauren
The world is atwitter with the complete professional transformation of Eric.
It seems like yesterday he was setting up enough autocad drawing layers and rules to confuse the heck out interns…
Now he’s a college graduate who can still use technical terms that make everyone more confused than usual. To commemorate this very epic moment in time I bring you a photo of the two most excited people at Eric’s graduation:
You knew I was going to do this. Congratulations.
♫Lauren
Cotton candy is a dreamy confection to most of the earths children. A wonderful fair-reminiscent treat that can make summer days a sugary delight.
But a fear of sticky things makes cotton candy a nightmare for Isabel.
How she fears a sticky embrace, spilled and congealed apple juice on the floor, or a table covered in maple syrup delight.
I dedicate this doodle to her:
♫Lauren
Viciously Sweet 