The Blemish

Do you know anyone who is really awful and when they show up out of the blue you have that look on your face like you stepped in a steamy pile of poo?

Well I do and I have finally come up with the best/most current example of my feelings towards them:

If I were Taylor Swift I could make this into $14 million dollars… but I am not. And I probably will never date Jake Gyllenhaal either, that’s okay with me because his last name is hard to spell.

One more message to my zit:


Now that I have had my mean girl fun, I will bring the giggle girl to the situation. And well looking on the Miss Brightside of my problem… zits don’t last forever, and if you really need it there is always photoshop!


The Acheivement

I did it. I really did it.

I finished my sketchbook 176 pages front and back. A whole year of doodles. An entire year of my existence chronicled in my jazzy doodling style.

I am going to be partying and enjoying the fact that I actually finished something… instead of giving up at 90%. I’m feeling good about this and maybe I can actually finish all my other projects….

Oh wait… I didn’t finish them because I was doodling:

Thank you little sketchbook. You were amazing. And I highly suggest to anyone out there who likes to doodle to keep a book. It becomes part diary, part planner, and 100% thrilling to look over. Like for example July was an awful month for me. But November was really rad.

And your book can tell you so much about what was happening in your life! It was there when I found out what Shepard’s pie is. When Enrique Iglesias grabbed my butt. That time I really wanted pancakes, and the time I decided to live in a blanket for as long as possible. That night when my life became a romantic comedy. It was there for the finale of Mad Men. It was there when I couldn’t stop laughing, it was there when all I could do was cry. It was also there apparently when I was studying for tests, passing notes to my friends, and when I had to draw a rooster in love. It was an amazing doodle year.

Actually this year has kind of been amazing. And it’s all in my book. I know this post was a little braggy. But It’s an accomplishment for me. New book ahoy! Also Yonadab is right my book is full of secrets but it is a doodle cryptix.

I miss you Amber!


Isabel Stare-A-Thon: Bananas in Pyjamas

Lovable Australian childhood fruit twins Banana’s in Pyjamas have joined in the stare-a-thon making it an International event!

Bananas in pyjamas really love to stare!

Also their new interest in the stare-a-thon makes a milestone in the stare-a-thon industry. Never before have we had fruit with eyes stare and Isabel. Let’s keep innovating and remembering that it’s best to stare at Isabel in a group because afterall:

Isabel stare-a-thon 2012

You wanna be starting something?

This week I have started a craze in the office that is Michael Jackson themed.

I cannot for some reason get over the song “You wanna be Startin’ Something” Mostly because firstly it may be the catchiest thing ever recorded. Secondly it has the best insult in it of all time:

“You’re a vegetable”

It can be used in any conversation.


Friend: So. Politically speaking….

You: You’re a vegetable!


Boss: Can you file these papers?

You: You’re a vegetable


Mailman: How are you today?

You: You’re a vegetable


You: You’re a vegetable

Pee Wee Herman: I know you are. But what am I?


Thank you Michael Jackson for making my life more fun than ever before:

And I didn’t color it because it doesn’t matter if it’s black or white!


The Isle of Misfit Toys has found it’s Queen

This time of year is a really fabulous time. You get to see the world be a little cheerier.

But it is also a time of plentiful get together’s, parties, meet and greets… and the ever exclusive couples parties (that I attend in my own special unicorn fashion). These parties make me excited to get to see my friends, and pray that they are wearing a Christmas sweater that is enough to make Bill Cosby enviable. I always do something at these events (like fall into a planter, forget everyone’s name) and this helps me remember that I am an awkward goof.

Now being a goof is really great at certain times…. I can lighten up a family shindig. I can can tell an entertaining tale, I can have my friends in stitches (of laughter, I’m not violent). But not every party is just friends, and some parties are mandatory and full of people who rather don’t like you.

This is when I want to climb into my bedazzled cocoon, because no matter what I do these people will talk down to me. The will say cruel and unnecessary comments about my style, lifestyle, weight, and anything that strikes them at the moment. This is the very thing I dread each year about the holiday season.

But this year is different. This year, I really don’t care.

I would be a heart shaped peg if I was a peg… this is an amazing truth!

And the reason I don’t care is that…. I like me. And if you feel the same way about the holiday season… remember there is only ONE you for a reason (unless you are a multiple) and you being around is an awesome thing. So what if the people you have to spend time with don’t think you are that fantastic… somewhere out there other people do. I know I sound like a Hallmark Card, but if you are reading this you are an AWESOME person. Simply, because you are. So go around this holiday season being yourself around not so nice coworkers, or weird uncles, or mean mothers in line to buy toys for their children. So what if they don’t like you… Just like being yourself!
I’m so awkward!
Be wonderful to everyone, especially if they don’t deserve it.


Fashion Advice from Lauren

I totally promised that I would post a doodle tonight. And I will follow through.

I really have so much going on that taking a moment for a doodle was the best thing I have done this week. And if there is anything that I super care about besides doodles, Christmas, and boats and stuff… is fashion. I consider myself to be a pretty fashionable girl. Well I have personal style… Because most people don’t consider fashion being in your 20s and trying to dress like some That Girl, Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island hybrid. I have always followed the creed of Madonna and express myself with my funky fresh threads and curly hair, so although I may not always be in fashion… I feel like a totally rad, really short, super model.

And just because I like the way I dress. I wouldn’t tell anyone to not wear something they love if they feel that it expresses their inner being. You want to wear that yellow leisure suit, go for it banana brother. You want to have permed bangs, rock them Lunch Lady Awesome. You want to dress like a 16th century nobleman, Feudalize yourself freaky dude. You rock your look until the sun comes up. There is just one thing  I ask in this world full of tie dye stretch pants to never ever wear:

They may hold your wallet and sunblock, and collection of shrinky dinks. But they make your junk sad.


Isabel Stare-a-thon: Staring with Mr. Shatner

William Shatner doesn’t really understand. the. isabel. stare-a-thon.

I tried to explain it to him.

Lauren: William Shatner… all you have to do is look at her… for a long period of time:

W.S.: I… just… don’t… get …. it

Lauren: Just open your eyes and point them towards Isabel. She is the final frontier for your eyes.

W.S.: I… have… to… blink…

Lauren: Do that later, Billiam! The world is depending on you!

W.S.: O… kay… I’m… stare…ing

Lauren: That is a chair William Shatner… Isabel is not a chair

W.S.: (turns head) Okay… I … see… her..


W.S.: *grumbly sound*

Lauren: Why don’t you just go make some Priceline commercials?

W.S.: *grumbly sound*

William Shatner just isn't getting it
William Shatner just isn’t getting it

Boldly stare like no one has stared before! Because William Shatner cannot be counted on to glare with his pair of… eyes!

Happy evening to all. I should have another post up today of the doodly sort!


Isabel Stare-a-thon 2012: The Flock

Happy Isabel Stare-a-thon everybody!

I was thinking that the stare-a-thon could use a little more pizzaz. So I dusted the sparkles from my brow and said… “Why not make it a little more musical?”

So today read the following with the sweet beat of the 12 days of Christmas:

On the 8th day of the stare-a-thon I would like to share with thee a Bird staring at Isabel by some trees:

He did 7 hours of staring’

With 6 passing tourists…

5 DAYS IN A ROW!!!!!

With 4 bathroom breaks,

3 parked cars…

2 beatty eyes…

At ONE Isabel holding flowers!

I’m expecting Isabel to be questioning my brain thoughts after reading this. And for everyone who is severely confused by a holiday made to stare at a stranger… I should have a doodle up later today too. And a story, a story about things that can only happen to me.


The Duality of My Nature

Now some of you may know I’m kind of a girly girl. Like, a serious matching-jewelry-to-my-sweater-to-my-soul, kind of girl. Like, I skip on clouds made of cotton candy kind of girl. And this by the way is all true, my soul is bright orange and covered in flowers, and my the bottoms of my shoes are sticky.

However, even for a girly girl I have to have time out to just chill. And this is where I bring out on display my two polar opposite senses of style. Let me describe them a little for you.

1. My “I’m so fancy, and sparkly” look. This transcends all of my usual outfits that make me look like a sailor from a 1960s musical or Jenna Rink from “13 going on 30”. When I get fancy… it is ornate. There are fake eyelashes, diamond flaked mascara. There is serious fancy time hair. There are borrowed jewels. Basically you take me out for a fancy night… I’m going to show up looking like we’re going to the Academy Awards. (This is also probably why no one takes me to nice places, but why I’m tops on the bring a date list to company parties. Just in case you are wondering, I can clean up well, and I like appetizers.)

2. My “Liz Lemon having it all” outfits. This is when I’m comfortable, and it usually very shortly follows my “fancy” look. This is when I have no more patience for trying to look nice. This is that moment when your makeup is begging to be washed off. This coincides with the moment I can’t imagine living without my  pajama pants and a tank top. There is also sometimes a sweat shirt involved. And since I only own 1 sweatshirt there is a 100% chance that it is a “Montana Grizzlies” sweatshirt. And when I’m dressed like that my only accessories are my glasses, a blanket, and a remote control. Because when we have reached the point of “Liz Lemoning” I’m down for comfy times, and comfy times involve me eating cheesy snacks and being wrapped in a blanket as Vanellope Von Schweetz says in “Wreck-it Ralph”, “I wrap myself up like a little old homeless lady”.

Now I am sharing this story because The weekend of my birthday I went out with my BFF Christine. And I was fancy. I had decked my own halls, I was like a Christmas Tree prepared for a lighting ceremony. (It was my birthday, after all.) And then… then, I got back to her apartment and shed all my fanciness to reveal my plain old self. Now don’t get me wrong even plain Lauren is still sparkly… because I sparkle from the inside… I just well…

———————- 2 minute time break————————–

And the rest of the time I look like Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island. And to those who think my styles are weird, I’m comfortable with every style I have, because it’s all in fun. True story.