You better watch out!

When I was a kid my sister made up all sorts of stories.

One of my favorites was how all holiday and religious entities want you to keep your prayers and wishlists short because they have millions of people to listen to.

She always told me that Santa was a busy guy.

He had to make toys, supervise elves, make sure the reindeers ate a balanced diet of candy canes and fruit cake, watching every child in the whole entire world… and that you had to be quick in asking him for anything because he was really, really busy.

So with just vital hours left to Christmas… I say get it together for Santa’s sake:


Have yourself a Vicious Little Christmas

Today is a wonderful day to be with family, and watch the yule log.

I always make my sister watch the yule log for at least one entire song. And today was even better because I tricked her into it.

I hope your day is lovely and all the things it should be.

And I hope you ate a lot, and drank a lot too.

I personally did, and now my pants are a little tight…. and I feel like that means I was a little bit successful.


Christmas All the Time

A while ago when I was talking to a coworker friend who knew I was lacking in a bit of confidence. He told me he didn’t really know why I was because he thought I was sparkly inside and out. How does this have to do with Christmas? Well besides the fact I was was called a “Christmas tree”, it is because this Season is about having appreciation for family and friends.

And this year, I have learned that some people should be appreciated for being so kind to you, especially when you don’t feel you deserve it. At the time of this compliment, I really didn’t think I deserved niceties. But we all struggle with that. And that is what makes the happiness of this season so important.

Wow, this post isn’t very merry. This post is actually verging on the “It’s a wonderful Life” kind of introduction to Christmas… I think I was just trying to say that maybe we should celebrate how much we care for people all year long, because a season isn’t enough to show people how much we care about them.

And maybe we should pretend it’s Christmas more often… and not for presents or to age Jesus a little more. But maybe because this is the time of the year when people try to be the kindest and most grateful for what they have. We should carry it on for the rest of the year. We should tell people they sparkle. Because it makes them realize they can.

I hope that in the midst of all your Christmas and Holiday crazy this made you smile… just a little bit.

♥ and Merry Christmas, My Sparkly Trees!


Have A Spicy Little Christmas!

I hope today you are having a wonderful Christmas. Even if you are not a celebrator of Christmas I still hope you are having a rad day!

I hope you have a blast spending time with your family, eating pizza, watching Sandra Bullock movies… whatever you do (I’m so not judging.)

But whatever you are doing and where ever you are, I hope that this doodle makes you laugh just a little bit:

From Provocative Cactus to you: Have yourself a Provocative little Christmas Day!


A Viciously Sweet Guide to the Holidays

I will be the first to tell you I am the luckiest girl pretty much ever. Every day I am surrounded by my super fabulous family and deliciously awesome friends, and since I care not about my awkward-ness I will talk to anyone at anytime (usually about 30 Rock) but I digress. There is usually nothing that can rain on my lady parade…  Except there is a thing that happens a this time of year that people call the Holidays… and although I am all for sweet tiny baby Jesus and staring at Isabel, and all the beautiful lights… I am not down for all the non-magic of the “Holidays.”

Firstly, all those wonderful fabulous people you adore all year-long turn into crazies during the Holiday Season. Where they will on a drop of a hat go bat-sh*t crazy all over your face for putting a snow man decoration in the wrong place, or taking artistic liberties with sugar cookies. Now even strangers who will usually send a hello and a smile your way will literally slash your tires, because you want to park your car near a store that they want to buy some sort of moose shaped cheese, or underpants for their significant otter.


I find this aggressiveness hard to deal with since my usual response is to shut down and disarm people who have tilted to madness on the crazy scale. There is something about this cut-you-in-the-face-and-then-give-a-hug time of year that makes me want to retreat unto myself, and hide until all the people and things are normal.

Another thing that totally blows about the holidays besides that fact that you actually have to spend time outside your tent of solitude is… dealing with people you don’t like. Seriously, maybe the reason we don’t see each other 98% of the year is because we don’t get along. And even though I can try to find something nice about you, maybe your complete lack of maybe even being a human makes this hard. And maybe I will just eat a gingerbread cookie and cry inside while you are around instead of telling you, because this is the time of “togetherness”.

Now I’m not all about complaining without trying to figure out a solution (this is my kind of science)… So what can we do about this? I have been told by friends, and family that actually hiding in a tent in my parents backyard may not be the answer-

So I have come up with 3 fabulous conclusions:


1. Maybe it’s time to dawn a fluffy hat, or fake eyelashes, or even develop a RuPaul fixation… anything you can use as a crutch to get you through this time:

I'm going to be all Jolly Hollers!

2. I’m also thinking that I may try to interpretive dance until everyone leaves me alone. Because there is only so long one can see you “feel” the music like that one super wasted lady at any concert.



3. This is the one I always try the hardest at… stop caring. My sister tells me this every year. And every year I fail, and end up crying covered in tamale fixings while watching a Sandra Bullock movie. But this year I’m dedicated…Oh the roast needs to be put in? Um I think I’m going to go watch Spongebob, because he doesn’t yell at me for putting up twinkle lights when obviously the stair banister wants multicolored lights.


Have a fun Holiday time everyone. Please don’t cut me.



Professional Quote of the Day: December 2nd

It has been far too long PQOTD’rs!

I bring to you a new chapter in the PQOTD…  Professional Quote of the Day: Holiday Edition. From now until the Merry End of the Year you can share professional tidings with the most treasured and yultidy Professional in the San Gabriel Valley…

Onto a Christmas Season full of gold, frankincense,and Professional Quotes!

Have yourself a merry little Quotmas!


Christmas: the Modern Guilt

Okay so… I know that everyone likes preparing for Christmas in August.

I am so not good a this, because the year I bought everything in advance I misplaced all my gifts.

So, I still need to shop… but when I go to stores and see countdown clocks I feel a bit like this:

Nice Pee Wee placement, right?

Am I the only one who really dislikes countdowns to holidays? I mean they make me so nervous: