Confessions With Lauren: It’s all in the eyes

Even though mom said they would stay that way.

Even though I do it so hard I feel the rotation.

Even when I know I messed up my eye makeup when I’m doing it.

I just can’t help myself:

They are just going to roll away and leave me one of these days, and I’m going to be all eye-less and I”m going to have to put buttons there like that “Coraline” story.

Sadly, one of my coworkers knows that when they talk, I roll my eyes at them. In my I can’t help myself defense…this is  because I know everything they say is the worst.

BUT ROLLING EYE BONUS: It stops them from saying my eyes are so “mysterious” and “alluring”. Seriously. Pervy.

ALSO NOTED: Writing about my absurdly quiet office is becoming  a bummer. They need to get it together.