Alternate Career path pt. 7

Christine has always had an intense desire to be a spokesmodel.

As a child she would adorn herself with jewels from QVC and attempted to sell them with her Siamese cat Maui to the other Siamese cats in her household. Although the cats never purchased anything, she did successfully resell several things to her own mother.

One day she saw a commercial with Celebrity guest Cher discussing beauty products… she knew that if she were a spokesperson she could sell the heck out of anything and be adored by all the gay bears out there,  just like the curly haired Cher. Christine then started strategizing to which product she could sell to  the unsuspecting world…

One day Christine found that opportunity in the greatest exercise invention in the last 42 years… the THIGH MASTER! She realized that she could not only sell the heck out of the THIGH MASTER but greatly improve thigh aesthetics worldwide.

Now the only thing she had to do was dispose of the current THIGH MASTER seller Suzanne Somer’s. Christine made great lengths in sullying her competitions name such as accusing her of thigh implants, attacking the elderly, and of being 72% robotic. Her attempts however failed because she was deemed not Blonde enough to fill the shoes of Ms. Somer’s by the League of THIGH MASTER’s… She thusly died her hair orange, and decided to attend high school with other non-celebrity spokespeople… like Isabel and Lauren.

She does sometimes fantasize what her life would be like if she had removed Suzzane from her THIGH MASTER throne…

basically she’d have thighs that could be licensed as a lethal weapon…

 

Isabel and Clay: Origins

Many people around the globe have been intrigued with the connection between Isabel and Clay Aiken. Many have asked how long has this “connection” been going on?

The answer may shock and amaze you, as we share with you this awesome exclusive content from Isabel’s childhood.

As you can see from the photograph below Isabel and Clay have know eachother for years… they’re admiration has since grown in trifold!

Here is a photo of them as young tender friends celebrating weird basket day…

What a TENDER GOOD TIME!!!

In fact Isabel’s own mother was not aware of the magnitude of dressing Isabel in this fine outfit. She just thought it was a clever catchphrase all the kids were into, she didn’t realize it was the start of an odd fascination that would stick with her first born forever.

Isabel and Clay a love that has lasted a lifetime… what a feel good story

♫LAUREN

Alternate Career Paths pt. 1

David’s love of water and splashing could have led him to being a brilliant seal trainer at Sea World, if he hadn’t missed that important day in the second grade when he had a cold. Instead he attended school on Jan 13th 1995 and  became fascincated with becoming an engineer…

Things could have been so different.

♫LAUREN

hello ladies… it’s Elliott

Here is a brief introduction to the newest Hollaway…

  • His name is Elliott, much like the beloved doctor on Scrubs
  • he likes feathers
  • he enjoys sleeping in your face
  • he would stare at Isabel if he knew her
  • he likes to eat tons of food.. even though he is a stick like creature -this also means he poos a ton as well
  • he likes to sit as close to your face as possible, seriously
  • he likes to meow at anything
  • he also likes Cynthia… but this is not mutual
  • he does not like doctors, barking, and not being paid attention to
  • he also dislikes reading and would love to sit on any reading material you have

He is currently being a stay-at-home kitten.

 

yep... hes a kitten
yep... he's a kitten