You can always get that thing you want cheaper on Amazon. You can lose your day on Reddit. You can listen to the most Coldplay ever on Pandora. You can play bubble shooter as long as your clicking hands allow you… And, you will eventually get a letter from a Nigerian Prince asking you for money.
Last week Christine ran into this predicament. Her father/head of the best dip company in the world, received a suspicious email which he then forwarded to her. The email went on about her accounting not being correct and she owed money to A Federation in Nigeria and they of course need all her banking information to fix this correction. Christine did not believe this (obviously), but she found the email a swift treasure that was sure to make us giggle with reckless abandon.
Onward to the giggles!
The person who emailed her Dr. Ahmed Salami, to be precise (seriously?!?) Informed her he was “Auditor-General of the Federation that has the yam and knife on this issue at the moment.” Christine’s response, first laughter, then a flashback to her undergrad days as an Anthropology student… My response, unbridled laughter and then this:
I implore everyone to go out into the world and take what you need by the yam and knife!
P.S. Don’t ever believe Dr. Salami, I think he may not be a real doctor…
There are some days in the office where you are so busy drawing details of ceilings, and learning the difference between broadloom carpets and woven carpets that you think nothing really exciting can happen.
And then like a bolt of lightning from Zeus himself, a professional bursts from his cubicle to help out on an impromptu conference call and saves the day from a certain lack of clarity.
Today Professional Eric proved he was the most professional of them all, when he leaped from his chair mid-email to an engineer, to help said engineer on the phone. Thusly saving him from falling into a grand abyss of confusion.
And then I got to quote this:
February 2nd, is truly a day that will go down in professional history.
Today I measured a warehouse with the most professional of measuring buddies. And I told him today’s most precious news.
It’s my friend Jimmy’s birthday.
Yes, magical Jimmy! I call him this because not many people in the world would let you incessantly take pictures of them for 5 years straight, and rarely complain… well sometimes he did, but I took pictures anyway.
Basically, I've been capturing all the exciting moments since 2003
Well today Jimmy turns 27. Which makes me realize several things:
-I’ve known Jimmy for 9 years this August, and I have no ideas where the years have gone.
-I wish he’d become an Abraham Lincoln Impersonator… because he is tall, skinny and has brown hair (in my mind that makes you Abraham Lincoln)
-When are we going to go rummage through more thanksgiving postcards?
-I wonder if you are going to watch Carrie to celebrate your birthday, because if so I’m in.
-Will young James ever become a professional clog dancer? Or ever take a clogging class (I’m betting no)
-I wish that you would sing karaoke versions of Dolly Parton songs with me I would like to sing 9 to 5, thanks.
-Will you ever become the Where’s Waldo of Santa Barbara?
Okay I know that those are really strange observations… but I reserve only the best for Jimmy. And’ here’s the corresponding doodle:
p.s. If you like any of the things mentioned in this blog… like Waldo, Santa Barbara, Thanksgiving Postcards, Halloween movies and being weird… you should totally find Jimmy he likes those kinds of things
My sister got married this last Saturday and I have to tell you it was incredibly awesome. The weather cleared before her ceremony, the day went on without a hitch. We giggled in incredible amount. I caught one of those bouquets she threw. So I guess that means I’m getting married. Someone should tell Jon Hamm as I choose him to marry in sound mind.
And of course, she looked amazing! And since she is not a fan of me posting pictures of her online (I am beginning to believe she is an international Jewel thief), I have decided to show this one of the back of her dress:
You can tell from the back of her dress how amazing she looked!
What I can share about what I have learned about weddings is that they are a lot of work, A LOT OF WORK! But when you love the couple it is more than incredibly worth it. I have never worked so much at a party ever, also I had a police escort to her room with the Dollar Dance moola. And I must give another thank you to Christine, who was a guest that didn’t mind to help me!
Thanks for helping me work my sister's wedding. And dancing to Pitbull with reckless abandon. Also for not getting lost with how many people at this wedding were named Christine...
I would like to share my rating of my sister’s wedding; 2 awesome thumbs up and 1 great winky face to my sister. I hope you are bonkers happy for all eternity!
Forever your girl,
Lauren
P.S. Word to my brother, it was an honor to see you dance to “Sexy & I know it” has changed my life. And in the future will totally traumatize both of your children. Rock on Tony!
It has been so very long since a quote from Professional Eric has graced the pages of Viciously Sweet. It was thought to be forgotten… until I heard that the world was suffering from a verbal professional drought! Then I recalled recent times in the office have been incredibly busy and also photoshop-less.
And then with all the magic of an 8-ball, Eric valiantly saved my computer from the viruses that plagued it, and enabled me to delve into the quote archives and resurrect the Professional Quote of the Day!
Without Eric, Professional Quote of the Day 2.0 would be impossible.
Without any further ado I present to you PQOTD2.0, volume 1:
Let us all commence data entry to honor him, professionally!
When I have a project deadline at work and I totally meet it, I feel awesome.
When I have enough time after that deadline to print out, prepare, and roll my drawings in time for its intended meeting with enough time to doodle afterwards… I feel like a freaking conqueror.
When the moons align and this rare form of excellence happens, there is nothing can hold me back or hinder my uninhibited awesomeness. With how much work I have had recently I thought I would never again feel that kind of accomplishment. And then it happened:
And then I was happier than ever before. Until next time, perfect work moment.
Viciously Sweet 