humor

Pixie Stix Disaster 2011

| Viciously Sweet

Last week my neighbors had a party where they had a candy bar. Jellybeans, weird toffee, snickers, twix, and a whole tub of pixie stix. When I saw those sugary tubes of joy I knew I had to have one. One turned into 3, and that turned into 7 and I was just so happy that my taste buds still thought they were as rad as they did 15 years ago. (I feel very blessed.)

So I feel a little less this:

And a little more this:

Although, now I feel like I have a problem. I didn’t realize at the time is that this candy would turn me into a sugar addict. Like Charlie Sheen style, on top of the world, kind of sugar addict.

So I tried to stop, but at lunch I had a Dr. Pepper and I’m back to basically wanting to roll through pile sugar (while I threaten someone into a closet, who will shortly call the police on me).

Also the biggest conundrum of all.. how am I supposed to lose weight for my sister’s wedding if all I want is to eat all the sugar in the world?

And worse is she going to replace me with Ashton Kutcher if I can’t stop myself?!?!

♫Lauren

Professional Quote of the Day: August 8th

| Viciously Sweet

It’s getting room temperature in here. So you better work to your optimal capacity. ♫
That song may not have caught on like Nelly’s “Hot in Hrrrr,” but it does instruct on how to make your work environment conducive to maximum output… and here’s the King of Output himself to drop some knowlwedge on you with today’s PQOTD:

Current Office Temperature: 76 degrees.

♫Lauren

Professional Quote of the Day: Aug 4th

| Viciously Sweet

Today’s Professional Quote of the Day mixes the world of the professional and the supernatural… this obviously creates a SUPERNATURAL PROFESSIONAL.
WOOOOO OOOOO OOOOOOOO.

But even a ghostly professional has to keep office hours.

His email would be professional@elboohoohoo.com, which is like the hotmail of the ghost world.

♫Lauren

You REALLY Got a Hold on Me

| Viciously Sweet

Sometimes when you doodle, you doodle chickens eating ice cream. You doodle a boat made of cheese, or Isabel frolicking in a field of cotton candy or really anything you please.
Sometimes if you are me, you draw a snake choking you. I have no idea if this has a secret meaning. But it was all I could think of:

♫LAUREN

Professional Quote of the Day: July 29th

| Viciously Sweet

There are some things in life that aren’t really surprises.

Todays Professional Quote of the Day (PQOTD, for those who like abbr.) is one of those… I’m-not-really-surprised-at-all kind of things:

P.S. This is probably why he has one of the fanciest personal projectors in the land.
♫Lauren

The Most Professional Day of the Year

| Viciously Sweet

Today there will be no professional quote. There is another type of professional celebration happening.

29 luscious years ago, the world was given the most professional gift, a little baby that would soon become… PROFESSIONAL ERIC. Since then Eric has created numerous excel spread sheets, vector lines and inspired some very awesome Professional artwork.
Today he is spreading professional joy to the world, with his #1 lady friend:

Today create an Excel Spread Sheet in his honor.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIC.
♫Lauren

I’m just going to be over here… blending in with the wall

| Viciously Sweet

Just a quick reference for anyone who wants me to wear peach clothing.
I am the color of peach.
In a peach dress I effectively look like a peach blob with eyes:

This is also a thank you to my sister for realizing, that although peach is a nice color, if I am a bridesmaid in her wedding I should not wear peach ever. I would look either naked and weird, or like I’ve been dead for two weeks, maybe three. Now that I’m sure I don’t have to blend in with the wall/my dress/the universe. I feel a lot better about life.
♫Lauren