With Just a little Pixie Dust

I don’t fit into my office. This is not a new secret. Like, I don’t fit in so bad that it’s nearly comical. It’s almost like I’m a mystical being stuck in a land of protocol and unyeilding emails. Actually that is almost exactly what it’s like, it’s hard to be a Lauren in a 9-5 kind of world.

And the best part of all of it… is that my boss hasn’t the slightest idea. And the worst part is… I think he’s such a nice boss, that I kind of never want him to know how hard it is to work with some of the other people in our tiny office space.

I’ve been tinking about it a lot lately. Have you ever thought that maybe Tinkerbell was really just tired of being treated poorly by the lost boys? And maybe she was tired of always being put in cages and treated like a weird sparkly decoration? I do. She was totally over it because she know she can do more than that.

Now several times last year I thought of quitting my job, without any back up plan. And not for reasons people usually do… No one ever has a great boss, and bad coworkers. No one has ever said that! And no one ever says when they are in a bad work environment that they love the work they create. Which… I do. I like the clients I deal with. I love the idea of something I draw being built and occupied by people who are learning, and working and changing the world with their existences and thoughts and dreams. Right now at this moment, that is what architecture means to me.

Things I don’t like about work is being harassed by coworkers, being asked to quit to make certain people feel better about themselves (several times, actually) and feeling totally unappreciated for all the actual effort I put into creating a product that we are proud to put our names on.

I have actually tried to think through these issues a lot in the last few days. How can you get past these kinds of work problems?

The first one… well I’ve tried a few things. Including ignoring, trying to talk it through, and finally giving up. And then I stumbled upon these little words from every cool chick’s homegirl, Tina Fey:

“So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.” -Tina Fey, Bossypants

I have taken these words to heart, and my days have felt so much lighter and brighter than they used to. I can do my work really well, and I will be in charge of a firm someday. And maybe I’m also better about this type of situation due to the fact I may (or may not) have concealed and color coordinated weapons on me pretty much at all times.

Basically this is me getting ready for work. Except I’m more partial to flats. Image Courtesy of: Photobucket & the Weinstein Company

And secondly, I’m not going to disappear to ease other people consciences. You are an adult, I am an adult, we make our own decisions. And I’m sticking around to get stuff done, and you can’t be rid of me so easily. Also you have no right to banish a good fairy, unless your name is on the business, which it is not.

No one ever to told Glinda to get the Heck out of Oz. She was just doing her thing and being sparkly. And that is how I want to be. Especially with that hat!  Image Courtesy of: Photobucket & Warner Bros.

And well the other one…. Hmm, there isn’t much I can do about this. All bosses everywhere do this in some shape of form… I mean if you keep pulling off impossible deadlines for them, they think that you can do so much more. Sometimes to fulfill my boss’s requests I find myself alone in the office in the dark of the night clicking and clacking away at the computer just to meet the deadline. And then after it’s all printed, he will say, no lets go back to the other thing we were at a few days ago. And then I will smile and know I tried. This actually happens a lot, and it used to make me really mad. But now I think he requests crazy things because he believes I can make magic. So now instead of getting upset when my work is shelved… when I complete the impossible tasks he asks of me, I just feel a little bit magical.

And well all of the analogies in this post came from my truly desperate grasps at happiness. Online Quizzes. Yes, when I feel a little blue I take internet quizzes that tell me things like I should paint my walls blue… or eat a margherita pizza. So this time when I was feeling a little down I took an internet quiz about Fairy tales and even the internet agreed:

You Are the Fairy! You are charming, cheerful, and a little bit magical. You make other people’s lives better. You are a bit eccentric at times, but you truly care about people in your own way. You are hyper and restless. It drives you crazy to sit still, and you are usually the first to leave any event. You are unpredictable and flighty. No one can guess what you’ll be up to next … or where you’ll be!  Image Courtesy of: Blogthings

And then I applied that knowledge to my actual existence, and found that it’s not really too far off. Eccentric, cheerful, probably coated in glitter. Maybe being a fairy isn’t so bad, as long as someone thinks you’re magical.

Lauren

p.s. Sorry Amber who reads this blog, but you know how it is ;)

A Lack of Inspiration

I work in a very interesting office.
The people I work with would make great characters if anyone decided to write about them. (Which I sometimes do!) We all seem to be complex creatures, and more than a little out there. But lately, there has been a lot more work and a lot less fun…

Yeah, yeah I have more project responsibility, but quite frankly I’m not an architectural Spiderman.

And then to make it worse, everything has been so quiet in here that I feel my office mates may have been replaced with scarecrow versions of themselves. Just propped up to the computer with an occasional mouse clicking sound being emitted from them.

I cannot exist happily in an environment like this… it makes me very sad and makes me lack any sort of inspiration. Which is a total bummer when you are making spaces for people to work in, I feel like they suffer secondhand depression spaces to work in because, of this lackluster environment I am stuck in. And then I looked around my actual office and realized the actual windowless cubicle I work in is not helping my office depression either, I hardly ever see outside during actual sunny hours. I remember it being very lovely:

Now I’m not completely dissing my office. It is in a great location… once you get outside. And by that I mean, it’s next to a bar. And my boss is wonderful and I work with a couple of really great people. But really, the walls that block the vision from the windows seems like a cruel joke. The fact I am the only person that doesn’t have a window… is a crueler joke. Why did the person who drew up this building hate people so much, why not make sitelines so I can see the beautiful mountains just outside the building? Why did you set the lobby on the most blinding side of the building? Why has no one ever replaced the pink marble tiles that have cracks big enough to get your heels stuck in? Why is everything outside of our rented space mauve and brown?

It’s not like I need the circus at work.. I just need a little more joy.

♫Lauren