I’m 5’0 and have never given anyone a piggy back ride. This is because people as short as me can not handle lifting the height of others in the air. And when we try to do so it ends in dissapointing results. Apparently no one told this to my brother in shortness Jason Schwartzman…
See this illustration:
♫Lauren
This is probably that saddest time of all 2009 the second to the last day of the Isabel Stare-A-thon.
I know at this time of year the days seem to be a little darker and people start taking down their Isabel Stare-a-thon decorations but there is still the 26th….
To break this news to you I give you a beloved movie & television star: Mr. Jason Schwartzman.
♫Lauren
This is a special countdown for Eric… from 2 cubicles south from this computer…
10. T-Pain
Because he’ll buy you a draaaaaaaaaaank, and then he’ll take you home. Which means he’s an awesome designated driver.
9. Taters
Because everyone likes them. Especially in tot form.
8. Nikki T.
She is the highest on the list from the 909. But her first name has no “T” in it so this is as high as the list could place her.
7. Tubes
They are used for everything… testing, plumbing, vacuum… they are also wicked futuristic.
6.T-shirts
The best article of clothing that starts with “T”.
5.Drinking Tea.
This one was selected by Eric… Eric who likes tea and ladies.
4.T-rex
A large dinosaur with little arms… WIN WIN
3.Mr. T.
Because he pity’s the fool exceptionally well.
2. Tasty Things
Delicious is nice.
1. The Letter “T”
because without the letter “T” this countdown would have no substance… or without a t “subsance”. Nor could I go tee-hee. T you are totally terrific
Honorable Mentions: T-squares, T-ball, and tentacles
and fruity T-loaf???
I have gone on for 23 years of my life being called eccentric, weird, and comical (at least the things people say to me).
But I’ve never been affirmed into any such group or click.
In the last week 2 people have labeled me…. And I find it fascinating. I mean to a label-less person… I feel like I moderately know how I am percieved by the general public.
I was first called an indie kid.
which is cool, because i do like indie things… they are nice:
and then I was called bohemian… and i was told that i reminded people of fruit… which is also nice.
I like fruit… so long as it is not in a corcnocopia.
I don’t really know what this label means but I have an opinion.
I feel very scared about being easily grouped.
but I would like to know from people who really know me? Am I these things? Is this what my alternative rock, brown hair and bangs, and black plastic glasses have lead to? Am I so easily labeled? Do I remind you of fruit? Is that the reason I want a sweater vest?
Tell me.
♫LAUREN
condon.us
Last Night Jimmy was reading me an article from 2001 (and not the space odyssey)
It was about a subject that interests me and not just because it is about the men’s… it was an article about future leading men. This is interesting because it listed quite a few men I haven’t heard of in years like Jay Hernandez and Kip Pardue. I have been wondering where a generation of actors went… and how we unfortunately ended up with Shia LaBeouf and Zac Efron??? Men/boys that I am so just not into:
Granted there have been tragedies… Heath Ledger and Brad Renfro both had promising careers.
But that whole generation of actors isn’t gone… I know there is more serious actors than Orlando Bloom and Jake Gyllenhaal. Come on Hire these guys so we don’t have to see Shia like every 3 minutes.
Where did Ben Savage go?? How did everyone liked him meeting the world as a boy but not as a man???
And for that matter where is a Ryder Strong?? Quite candidly every girl my age adored him… and you really cannot deny it. What has he been up to lately??
and my last TV actor… Christopher Ralph! Remember “in a Heartbeat???” or “Animorphs”??? Yeah him… I know Christine remembers him. I also will be honest and say he was totally in my locker in High School. And how is that blond guy from Animorphs still acting… ewww.
Lets switch to movie stars…….
What happened to Chris Klein? I mean he isn’t with visual blight Katie Holmes anymore… can someone give him a job? That doesn’t involve pie???
What about Jesse Bradford?? He totally brought it in “Bring it On” and in “Flags of Our Fathers”… It was so hard to find a showing of his last movie “My Sassy Girl”… and now he has a movie called Table for Three coming out… WHICH LOOKS AWESOME!
What about Ryan Phillippe?? He was a good actor. “Cruel Intentions” “GosfordPark” Yeah I know, Reese got the acting career in the divorce… sure he may be a bit of a slime… but Jude Law gets acting roles too! And that man is a slimey limey.
Where is Andrew Keegan? Was it his complete jerk role in “10 things I hate about you” that killed his acting career… because I think so.
And what ever happened to Freddy PrinzeJr.??? He was like the one of the only not completely white heartthrobs of the early millennium… He was everywhere making mushy teen films like “Down to you” and “She’s All that”… was it his role as Freddy in “Scooby Doo” that killed it? Because I would rather see Freddy than Adrian Grenier.
And why does no one but the indie kids like Jason Schwartzman? My friends and I have adored him since the early millennium. Phantom Planet’s spicy little drummer. “Rushmore” “Slackers” “Darjeeling Limited” “I ♥ Huckabees” and “Marie Antoinette”… he’s like the coolest man ever..
Why is Gael Garcia Bernal not a bigger star? I suppose he’s just too cool for American kids… but maybe it’s good not to be cool. I think he may be one of the best younger actors… and I would watch him in any language.
So think of these men anytime you want to hire Mr. Le Beef. There are other actors out there.
or do as i do and think of Rufio… who you totally think of too… don’t deny it
Wait until I create the sequel to this “Where my Girls At” Missing lady teen stars.
♫LAUREN
condron.us
Wouldn’t it be cool if American Idol, had a spinoff called “Historic American Idol,” where contestants voted on the coolest and hottest of our American Heroes. I think If that happened I would say this is my pick for the top 5
#5 Jason Schwartzman, cute as a button musician and actor.
#4 Isabel Canto, famous for involvment with Clay Aiken, as well as her many years manning the most luscious monster truck station wagon.
#3 Rita Hayworth, one of my favorite Actresses… she’s awesome in 742 ways.
#2 Thomas Jefferson, damn right… he’s awesome dawg… and he’s coming up later in this post
#1 Abraham Lincoln… because everyone knows they adore big Lincoln!!! He kicks a lot of butt, and he kicks it hard
I’m sorry Isabel you are not as cool as Abraham Lincoln…
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Okay also today is Thomas Jefferson’s Birthday. I must say he’s one of my favorite presidents because he did a lot of things for this country, and there are boatloads of statues of him in Paris… also who doesn’t love nickles???
♥LAUREN
Viciously Sweet 