Why I’m not taking Nyquil Anymore

I’ve been fighting a cold for the last week. And it has been brutal.

I have called all my old friends out to help me… Advil, benadryl, some Generic orange flavored cough syrup and even Nyquil.

Because of the magical cocktail of drugs I was taking. I was blessed with some of the most surreal and equal parts terrifying dreams ever. Volcanoes, giant corns crushing my house, 50 foot tall goats running away with my car… I was at the point where I was almost not able to sleep.  After testing out which drugs I took before I go to bed I discovered much like the detective in Clue it was… Nyquil! This cough syrup of doom was the culprit that had changed my joyous dreams, into a freakish playground of sleeplessness, and terrifying dreams of Bird Men (who are 75% men, 25% bird).

These “Bird Men” are for some reason the most terrifying thing my brain has ever created. (And I like birds). They were very tall men in suits with incredibly realistic bird heads… and even more scary, it was not a fake head! They all spoke perfect English, and I was the only one without a bird head. And when I tried to find my regular human friends I discovered that their apartments were full of these weird bird men who were dressed in fancy suits. These dreams went on for 4 days straight.

Needless to say, I’m not taking Nyquil after watching Mad Men ever again

bird man and I in the elevator... this was a lot scarier than it looks


Robot Toast

A few days ago, I was feeling a bit giggly…

I was telling Professional Eric that I had the new best idea. It could make millions of dollars, it could bring world peace, it could save us from losing calcium in our bones!

Yes everyone, I’m talking about a Mrs. Doubtfire robot that makes you toast… and speaks in the voice of Robin Williams. For some reason Eric did not agree with my desire to have one of these machines, as obviously he could not handle the way it will change the world as we know it.

I think I just need to show my designs to the right people… and we will never again suffer the indignity of warming our own breads.

However if you don’t accept the toast… it will throw fruit at you. So remember always say yes to toast!