Month: July 2010

Target Audience

| Viciously Sweet

Do you ever wonder who some products are made for…I mean there is some weird ass stuff out there.

I always wonder am I their audience? Should I buy that portable rotisserie???

Well Let me pitch you an idea of my own:

Have you ever been in a situation where you have grown tired of the look of eggs?

Have you ever said well I eat 5 dozen eggs a day and I am so tired of their boring oval-y shape?

Well Complain no more…

Now you can square your eggs! With the EGG CUBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now our intended audience can have square eggs!

Who is our inteded audience you may ask?

Architects: Be wary of this advice

| Viciously Sweet

Okay, so Yahoo released an article today that shows you some habits that are incredibly harmful to you as a person. I am very interested in this because I happen to be a human, also because I never want to look like Mickey Rourke…

So I started to read this and stumbled upon this bit of wisdom:

Look Your Age—Or Younger!
It pretty much goes without saying that smoking cigarettes and frying your skin in the sun make you older, so kudos for quitting and slathering on the sunscreen religiously. But if you’re trying to turn back the clock—or at least slow it down a little—don’t overlook these other habits that may be sabotaging your efforts.

1. You keep your college bedtime
It’s not uncommon for superbusy women to cram a day’s worth of around-the-house to-dos into the late evening hours, a practice that pushes back bedtime into—eep!—Late Night with Jimmy Fallon territory. The problem with this is that too-little sleep is proving to be really, really bad for your health: Research links it to high blood pressure, diabetes, weight gain, and even just looking tired and older.

Act your age: We’re not saying you need a perfect 8 hours every single night, but make sleep a priority more often and your body will thank you. Everyone’s sleep needs are different; to find out what yours are, sleep experts recommend you turn off the alarm clock when you’re well rested, and see how long you naturally sleep. (Most people need 7 to 8 hours.)

Some of us Helpful Yahoo people, did not attend school where we had the bed time of Wally Cleaver. Some of us went to school where we stayed up for nights in a row. Sometimes up to 72 hours straight. And although this article is well intentioned, I feel angry thinking about it. I was lucky in school If I was sleeping at the time Jimmy Fallon came on.

I never wish for someone to change their sleep schedule to 5am to 8am. I have a feeling time would not be on your side.

♫Lauren

….can i go to sleep right now?

The Little Mer-Cat

| Viciously Sweet

Sometimes I find my cat staring out the window in a manner reminiscent to that of a young Ariel wishing she were part of the human world.

Also, I have a way over active imagination.

That is how I came up with this conclusion:

 

♫Lauren

The Tale of the Blowhole

| Viciously Sweet

Today I bring you a new tale to add to our storytime repertoire.

Many moons ago in the state of Hawaii, there vacationed a Jimmy.

This said Jimmy was not familiar with islands besides those in the roads on major streets. You see this very Jimmy was from the Valley.

This specific Jimmy is also quite literate, you will frequently find him engaged in a book or perusing maps of distant lands. He used his written ware in this case as a tool to find himself something fun to do on this island vacation.

There he found a natural phenomena that captured his fountain loving imagination. A blowhole. Not any blowhole, but one on a treacherous part of beach, that spews over 100 ft in the air. The approximate height of a 9 story building. Fascinated Jimmy told his family, they trekked for hours to reach this dangerous location…

…to find that…

… the tide was out.

 

THE END.

♫Lauren

p.s. the t-shirt reads “you fracture me”

You Remind Me of Something w/ Eric

| Viciously Sweet

Can I compare thee to a summer’s day?  No, well… Okay, how about some celebrities?

Viciously Sweet brings to you a top 10 list of characters and people that Eric reminds us of. To add to the accuracy of our claims we picked a one word description of each contender and submitted to our voting audience, Eric. And then our voters (Eric) generously took the time to say which of the descriptions were most important to him.

Yonadab and I proudly present these 10 facets of Eric, in High Definition.

10.  Eric is kind of like Jimmy Kimmel. They both have a flair for epicness and both sing songs about Ben Affleck. Also I’m pretty sure neither of them like Matt Damon.

9. Eric is kind of like Tim Taylor from “Home Improvement” if you want a further description of this contact our offices “fixed” or “dead” refrigerator. Or our “unbroken” printer.

8. Eric is like Gabriel Iglesias. He likes to not only make funny haha’s but he also is the #1 fan of fluffyness.

7. Eric is kind of like Neil Patrick Harris. He’s all about musicals, and the ladies. Well NPH is also all about musicals… and well he’s about the ladies on “How I Met Your Mother” which Eric is a total fan of. 

6. Eric really likes musicals. In fact he’s kind of like the entire cast of Beauty and the Beast….

5. Eric is like that comic collector guy from the Simpsons. He’s always and 100% Star Trek, SCI-FI and HD.

4. Eric is a lot like Jack Donaghy. I really thought that this was going to be higher on the list because after all, the man breathes professionalism. He is so PSIC (professional superintendent in command) that everyone wants to CC him on their emails.

3. He’s kind of like that guy from Man Vs. Food. Adam Richman. If he weren’t so excited about technology and professionalism… eating delicious food could be his job.

2. Eric is like Johnny 5 from “Short Circuit”. He’s always about technology and always discussing inputs and outputs. He’s also all about the ladies… remember how Johnny 5 was all about Stefanie’s input??? He’s also so not into dissasemble.

To illustrate I give you this clip:

Are you ready for #1?

1. Eric is exactly like Eric Cartman. Dislike of Hippies, cravings for KFC, feelings about Gingers, and poor people… It’s all right here.

That concludes the list of things Eric is like.

Have a nice rest of your day.

♫Lauren

Why Google, Why?

| Viciously Sweet

Today’s Story from Lauren involves the whole internets.

Okay so after many years of being told my name is spelled wrong google also adds this insult to the heap:

Everyone will be dissapointed when they meet me and realize I am not really 50 cent. Or a 50 Cent impersonator, or whatever this picture would have them believe.

I would never do this to you Google.

♫Lauren