Some people are very lucky to work in pristine, if not just slightly too Dijon colored offices. Others spend their days in an office that has the delicious smell of food mixtures, and then there is Jimmy:
Jimmy works in dirt. Dirt that is located in sunny destination hotspot, Pacoima. The next time you are there give him a wave. He’ll be the tall skinny one reciting lines from Carrie… he’s hard to miss.
♫Lauren
Good Afternoon Professional Quote followers!
Sorry for the lack of posts, there has been so much work activity this week it has been difficult to find proper professional information to share with the masses.
But, today being the Eric’s true professionalism has shown through the clouds, and has dropped some professional enlightenment on the San Gabriel Valley.
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There are so many things that can excite a professional. Efficiently managing projects, re-pathing file locations, thoroughly answering professional related questions, defragging everyone’s hard drives… and coordinating, as this Professional Quote of the Day demonstrates:
Come on he’s so professional he has no time to spare for those who cannot coordinate with professional prowess.
♫Lauren
Have a Professional Weekend!
In this post Kardashian world we live in, sometimes a girl like me has problems using search engines and apparently now youtube. I innocently typed in “the smiths” and pressed enter instead of getting this:
I got this:
Seriously internet?
And the next time I google “Paintings of Ponies” am I going to get Kim and her sisters? Come on you know they look a little Horsey Sauce.
♫Lauren
Sometimes I have incredible yet very credible rage. I usually doodle it out because no one likes a pissy Lauren (especially The Dab, I think this is his #7 fear.) And, also sometimes I wish Reginald Stabby was real so he could deal with my problems:
Be careful I hear he has some cutting words for you.
♫Lauren
After an extensive amount of scientific testing the Cecelia, the provocative cactus is proven to be the most fascinating and titillating Cactaceae in the known universe. She is 24/7 provocative, as proven in her moonlit appearance below:
By the way this doodle was selected to be posted today by Professional Eric, doodle selector extraordinaire. Who has not given me professional knowledge today.
♫Lauren
Good Day Professional Enthusiasts!
It is late in the workday on this Monday afternoon. But don’t you fret, because there is so much professional activity happening under this office roof today… it could make your t-shirt grow a tie!
Making his much-anticipated appearance on the intwerwebs today, Professional Eric discusses the proper corn choice for aspiring professionals in the following PQOTD:
Moral of the story:
The next time you are eating with Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, do not give them loose corn.
They will see through your professional ruse.
♫Lauren
I have been extra spicy lately. And by that I mean a little more bite your face off.
Now I only really notice this when I am at work and I think it could be for the following reasons:
1. I am suffering from “cubicle fever.” I honest to goodness feel the 8×8 yellow walls closing in on me…
2. It is quieter than mime hell in this office. And I’m not the only one here? What kind of frothy hell am I in?
3. The office penguin needs a fresh new hat. Pirate Penguins are so last season.
4. The temperature in the office is set on make Lauren into “Encino Man.” And I’m not really into Brendan Fraser.
5. I really want to see my new niece. She’s so fresh.
6. There is no “Mad Men” on TV. And it’s what I want, what I really really want.
7. The Beach boys do not enunciate their words in “Barbara Ann.” This is an absolute concern to me today.
8. I want to be dressed like Elvira, for all the rest of time. But no one can handle me being that provocative. Also I don’t think that hair will fit in my car.
9.The apple I brought to work today was supposed to be a “golden delicious,” and it was more of a “yellow mushy”… also it tasted only like wet.
10. I only remembered 175 countries out of the 198 countries in the world. Darn you Caribbean Islands, especially you Grenada. Because I totally forgot you existed.
I’m in serious need of a Photoshop break.
♫Lauren
Hey There Doodle Lovers,
I know that this website is usually a beacon of truth and cleanliness.
But now that Provocative Cactus is around she wants to push the envelope.
And now she’s now even wearing her cactus covers, but Tipper Gore found her before she could get online all uncensored:
Now that is a whole lotta cactus.
♫Lauren
Hi Everybody!
I was thinking about making a casual advice column on my blog.
Because I’m full or rad ideas.
So today I give you a very special kernel of advice which can work for anyone:
And if you don’t you’ll most likely die. Because you don’t know where your food has been, it could have been all butt to mouth, and you wouldn’t even know.
♫Lauren
Viciously Sweet 