The New Fashion

I feel like since I have been working in retail design that now I have an official opinion about fashion.

And because I saw seasons of fashion just thrown into a junky room full of screens for like 9 hours a day for like… every weekday I can say things with an authority or something.

  1. I will never wear a see through skirt to work. I am not Bridget Jones. And I do not work with Hugh Grant. See through skirts = creepy notes on linkedin… from guys who don’t look like Hugh Grant… or Colin Firth for that matter.

    courteesy of :tumblr
  2. And I don’t want to wear overalls. I get really bad flashbacks of all the clothes on “Full House” that DJ Tanner used to wear because I can’t chance my loose drapey overalls falling off showing that I own an embarrassing amount of polka dot underpants:

    courtesy of ABC
  3. I don’t want to look like I mugged Indiana Jones on my way to spend a night out on the town
  4. And I definitely don’t want to look like a snake:

    Inline image 1
    courtesy of :F21

Because then Indiana Jones will never ask me out to the Spring Fling Dance.


Happy 2016,


Subliminal Dressing

The title of this post seems a little sexier than my posts probably are. So how am I going to combine “subliminal messages” with clothing and my blinding optimism together? Well brace yourself this blog is about to get *snaps fingers together* thrilling.

Well, let’s just say I discovered based on the way I dress to work, I can control the conversations had in the office. It’s happened a few times in a few outfits, and I think its hilarious. My clothing has caused long discussions of the Wedding Singer, Wonder Woman, 80s teen movies, and 13 going on 30. Basically my wheelhouse of interests since I usually try to avoid talking to my coworkers about anything resembling my personal life (sorry Amber, this is why I enjoy my corner seat… I only talk to you!)

Anyways a few weeks ago I went shopping and got found this dress. It made me feel like singing about how pretty I feel. Basically I was like channeling Maria from “West Side Story.” When I left the dressing room this other store customer told me sassily “That dress is all you.” I was thrilled. I bought it and I felt pity on any girl that wasn’t in that dress (not really, that’s a little harsh.)

So I finally got the time in the morning to wear my dress and make myself look like a human. I got to work and by 9:30 Johnny was snapping his fingers and talking about the gangs in “West Side Story.” Only an hour and a half in and I was a success. We discussed Bernardo and his purple suits… and then we pondered why any gangs would pick orange and purple as their colors. I mean those are like soda colors. Like Kool-Aid flavors. And really nonthreatening, btw. I mean imagine being accosted by a man in a purple well fitted suit. What can he really do to you… give you a makeover? Not let you go to the dance?

I feel pretty witty and bright too!

And just in case you want to put on a red dress and sing this song… you don’t even have to go far:

Also, don’t tell Chino… he’s totally lame.


The Fashion Statement

Yesterday I went shopping with my homegirl, Nancy.


We decided to traipse into Forever 21, even though neither of us are 21. But, hey I have a giftcard. And they usually have clothing for poor young professionals scattered about their store… but not yesterday.

Yesterday was different…We didn’t understand anything that store had going on…

We passed racks, displays, and even footwear before pondering a very important question… When did we become this old? Why were all the clothes so unpurchaseable?

Neon pink baseball caps with fancy flowers on it?

I want to meet the 16 year old who wants to wear this. Just call me Blossom!

Jean backpacks for purses with neon pink trim?

I had this as a kid… it was even ugly then.

Oxford shirts cut into mullet shirts?

Dresses cut into mullet dresses?

Decorative leopard bras as clothes?

Shirts that said “Never trust a cowboy”? (Really, what have cowboys done to us? And in Los Angeles, how often do you encounter them enough to not trust them?)

And everything else is completely transparent, and says “Beverly Hills” on it.

What the what, Forever 21?!? I know I’m 27, but when did people decide to dress like my 1990s Hawaiian barbie?

This is my Tuesday meeting outfit… don’t ask what kind of clients I’m meeting with…

I just can’t fathom I would feel comfy like this! So, I spent half my gift card on some jewelry and some sunglasses. And well I think glasses are supposed to be see-through in parts so I’m doing okay!

I am just going to say remember when all the clothes were heavily Mad Men Inspired? Yeah I was down with that.

Until then I can draw Nancy wearing all the clothes she passed up yesterday:

It’s like so many layers… but still completely breezy!


The Pajama Game

I’m going to make a confession.

It’s been kinds chilly at night so lately I have tried to make sure I go put on pajamas before I go to bed. In true California fashion I usually just tanky top and pajama shorts. But sometimes I have to pull out the real serious stuff…

It’s like having my own personal Christmas every evening.

I feel like I should be more ashamed of this but…. they are just so so comfy.


The Duality of My Nature

Now some of you may know I’m kind of a girly girl. Like, a serious matching-jewelry-to-my-sweater-to-my-soul, kind of girl. Like, I skip on clouds made of cotton candy kind of girl. And this by the way is all true, my soul is bright orange and covered in flowers, and my the bottoms of my shoes are sticky.

However, even for a girly girl I have to have time out to just chill. And this is where I bring out on display my two polar opposite senses of style. Let me describe them a little for you.

1. My “I’m so fancy, and sparkly” look. This transcends all of my usual outfits that make me look like a sailor from a 1960s musical or Jenna Rink from “13 going on 30”. When I get fancy… it is ornate. There are fake eyelashes, diamond flaked mascara. There is serious fancy time hair. There are borrowed jewels. Basically you take me out for a fancy night… I’m going to show up looking like we’re going to the Academy Awards. (This is also probably why no one takes me to nice places, but why I’m tops on the bring a date list to company parties. Just in case you are wondering, I can clean up well, and I like appetizers.)

2. My “Liz Lemon having it all” outfits. This is when I’m comfortable, and it usually very shortly follows my “fancy” look. This is when I have no more patience for trying to look nice. This is that moment when your makeup is begging to be washed off. This coincides with the moment I can’t imagine living without my  pajama pants and a tank top. There is also sometimes a sweat shirt involved. And since I only own 1 sweatshirt there is a 100% chance that it is a “Montana Grizzlies” sweatshirt. And when I’m dressed like that my only accessories are my glasses, a blanket, and a remote control. Because when we have reached the point of “Liz Lemoning” I’m down for comfy times, and comfy times involve me eating cheesy snacks and being wrapped in a blanket as Vanellope Von Schweetz says in “Wreck-it Ralph”, “I wrap myself up like a little old homeless lady”.

Now I am sharing this story because The weekend of my birthday I went out with my BFF Christine. And I was fancy. I had decked my own halls, I was like a Christmas Tree prepared for a lighting ceremony. (It was my birthday, after all.) And then… then, I got back to her apartment and shed all my fanciness to reveal my plain old self. Now don’t get me wrong even plain Lauren is still sparkly… because I sparkle from the inside… I just well…

———————- 2 minute time break————————–

And the rest of the time I look like Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island. And to those who think my styles are weird, I’m comfortable with every style I have, because it’s all in fun. True story.


Ahoy there, me Closet!

There are many things that can be said about me. One of those things is I have a very certain style of clothing I am the most comfortable in. Now it’s not sweat pants outfits, or superhero capes or anything of that sort. I am sort of in a serious relationship with dresses. I actually have so many that I could go about a month with never having to wear a pant at all… and since I live in California… basically I live a dream pant-less existence.

Earlier this week my mother told me showed me a dress that looked a bit like a mid-century-modern-sailor. And since that is basically the style I go for, I told my mom she was pretty spot on. I loved it so much I had decided on purchasing it!

And then I realized the next day that I had a problem. I have 3 versions of that very dress and have no real need for that dress at all! As heart breaking as it is it would be silly to have 4 blue nautical inspired color block dresses*… unless of course I was going on a cruise on the love boat, and then everyday I would want to show up on the deck like the most convivial passenger on a boat (which I would be.)

But since I have to work in an office 30 minutes away from the beach… I must suppress my nautical desires. But, I can still have my dreams…

Jolly Hollers,


*I’m pretty much blaming my need for navy blue clothes on my 4 years at Catholic High School. It just goes so well with everything, and makes me feel spiffy. However Nuns, I still refuse to wear white socks…

Nautical Trinkets

At Unique LA I purchased a not-so-unique, but incredibly fun telescope necklace. I wore it today at work closed… until lunch when Eric asked if I was wearing a rape whistle. Although I am a fan of guarding yourself from stranger danger… I do not actually own a rape whistle… so, now the telescope is open…
and I can spot a pirate at 2 times closer range now… So watch out Jack Sparrow.

P.S. You can shiver your own timbers.

Hat Season

Okay I am one of those girls who doesn’t really like coats with hoods, or umbrellas when it rains. Really I’d rather just get wet hair…. But I have this incredible desire to not catch a cold every 2 weeks. Luckily I live in Southern California…. and it doesn’t really rain much here. But the weather has decided it wants to pour sky liquid upon me…
My new option includes wearing super cute hats!

I really love that classy 1920’s cloche hat that is all the rage in magazines as of late:

or like my fav. look of Naomi Watts in King Kong

image from

Unfortunatley this is in style hat is a gateway hat… And I may start wearing my artsy 1940s-1950s hats about too…

I don’t think people would be suprised.

Depressing Fall Fashion

I have been thinking lately that i need to start putting my feelings on my t-shirts like those weird people who tell me a brief synopsis of their life across their chest.
Well here is my fall line called:
Stop Raining on my Dreams.

And it is dedicated to all the people who RAIN ON MY DREAMS of joy and general merriment.
Thank you for making my existence harder.

Ruining a persons day has never been so fashionable!