Groundhog Gangster

Today is groundhog’s day.

It’s a time when we watch Bill Murray movies, and think about when we can wear shorts without freezing our butts off.

And although science, and weather people on TV are all like “El Nino is gonna get you… tonight” like a Gloria Estefan song…

Punxsatawny Phil is like… “Whatever whatever, it’s almost spring.”

Do you feel confused about this too? Now, who should you call about this? Maybe Bill Murray directly and not Ghostbusters… they are like ladies now or something.


Ready to Christmas


Merry Christmas Internet!
I’m like up to my eyes in presents and glitter!
I hope everyone out there has a happy holiday and just feels so happy and lucky to be wherever they are right now!
Happy Holidays!

You better watch out!

When I was a kid my sister made up all sorts of stories.

One of my favorites was how all holiday and religious entities want you to keep your prayers and wishlists short because they have millions of people to listen to.

She always told me that Santa was a busy guy.

He had to make toys, supervise elves, make sure the reindeers ate a balanced diet of candy canes and fruit cake, watching every child in the whole entire world… and that you had to be quick in asking him for anything because he was really, really busy.

So with just vital hours left to Christmas… I say get it together for Santa’s sake:


Who do you love?

Christmas season is literally the most stressful time of the year.


I think it’s scientifically proven… or something like that.

It’s the time of year where all I want to do is decorate and hide from the world of people who will stab you for a cashmere scarf.

So as you can imagine that means I’ve been watching a lot of tv and decorating… Between that and snapchat… that’s like 87% of my day.

But I’ve been watching totally classy old TV shows like “That Girl” “Golden Girls” and more shows that have “girl” in the title.

And I’ve lost days watching repeats of “I love Lucy” and so I was inspired to draw her in all her technicolor glory:

I wish all my collars were popped like a proper gangster


Happy 9 days till Christmas


Have yourself a Vicious Little Christmas

Today is a wonderful day to be with family, and watch the yule log.

I always make my sister watch the yule log for at least one entire song. And today was even better because I tricked her into it.

I hope your day is lovely and all the things it should be.

And I hope you ate a lot, and drank a lot too.

I personally did, and now my pants are a little tight…. and I feel like that means I was a little bit successful.


Cinco de Mayo

Today on this glorious Cinco de Mayo I want to share a simple story.

My new work is amazing and offered delicious churros today. I being a churro enthusiast took full advantage of this. I may be exaggerating but I literally think all I ate was churros today. My coworker said I had the energy and enthusiasm of a chipper squirrel.

I think that is a good thing.

Anyways Happy 5th of May!


Also did you know that it’s Oyster day? I mean while you are throwing back some margaritas and Coronas you might as well throw some oysters your way too!

I’m going to recover from my sugar high now….



sugar high induced second doodle about how I imagine Jimmy Cinco de Mayo’s

Penguin Appreciation Day

Today is a very nice day in which we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr.

Some people get the day off.

Some cities throw parades.

Most people just think about how much better a place we live in now than when you could get harmed for believing in equality. And that all people are the same, even if they don’t look the same.

But I do not feel like I could properly draw  a doodle to describe the importance of these celebrations.

And then Veronica inspired my by sharing with me another holiday of today that is much more easy to draw.

So while thusly celebrating the importance of MLK day… I bring to you the other holiday that happens today:

Penguin Appreciation Day:


So today when you are sitting back thinking about how amazing your life is right at this moment, because of all the things people in the past have done for us… please also think of a penguin.

Especially my brother who is so far up in Alaska that not even a penguin wants to be there.


The Isle of Misfit Toys has found it’s Queen

This time of year is a really fabulous time. You get to see the world be a little cheerier.

But it is also a time of plentiful get together’s, parties, meet and greets… and the ever exclusive couples parties (that I attend in my own special unicorn fashion). These parties make me excited to get to see my friends, and pray that they are wearing a Christmas sweater that is enough to make Bill Cosby enviable. I always do something at these events (like fall into a planter, forget everyone’s name) and this helps me remember that I am an awkward goof.

Now being a goof is really great at certain times…. I can lighten up a family shindig. I can can tell an entertaining tale, I can have my friends in stitches (of laughter, I’m not violent). But not every party is just friends, and some parties are mandatory and full of people who rather don’t like you.

This is when I want to climb into my bedazzled cocoon, because no matter what I do these people will talk down to me. The will say cruel and unnecessary comments about my style, lifestyle, weight, and anything that strikes them at the moment. This is the very thing I dread each year about the holiday season.

But this year is different. This year, I really don’t care.

I would be a heart shaped peg if I was a peg… this is an amazing truth!

And the reason I don’t care is that…. I like me. And if you feel the same way about the holiday season… remember there is only ONE you for a reason (unless you are a multiple) and you being around is an awesome thing. So what if the people you have to spend time with don’t think you are that fantastic… somewhere out there other people do. I know I sound like a Hallmark Card, but if you are reading this you are an AWESOME person. Simply, because you are. So go around this holiday season being yourself around not so nice coworkers, or weird uncles, or mean mothers in line to buy toys for their children. So what if they don’t like you… Just like being yourself!
I’m so awkward!
Be wonderful to everyone, especially if they don’t deserve it.


The Pro’s and Con’s of Cornucopias

Hi Internet. This is a new type of post for me. It’s a pro/con subject matter. And this one is about cornucopia’s. If you find yourself questioning the existence of the horn of plenty… this is the article Phil Collins would say you’ve been waiting for all your life.

Pro Cornucopia: Amber’s side of the cornucopia debate

I’m indifferent.  They just hold fruit and stuff… I don’t see the big deal.

I don’t love them or hate them.

Indifferently yours,


Con Cornucopia: Lauren’s Cornucopia Conundrum

It’s Lauren. And I have something to tell you. I don’t like cornucopia’s. The back story of this is that when I was a kid I loved to check the brand new calendar to see what day of the week my birthday was. Like every other cool kid out there I prayed it never landed on a Wednesday… because it would be too far to wait for a weekend! But the calendar always had alternative plans for me…

Unlike my sister who was born in July and usually had beautiful pictures of fireworks. And my parents born in June had beaches, summer in full swing. And both Christine and Isabel born in March who would have fields of gorgeous flowers for their calendar month. And the children of December who had these fantastic winter scenes, Christmas, promises for the New Year… and of course October and September riddled with the most gorgeous changing leaf colors you have ever seen. And then there was November… and the Cornucopia.

It was on a table, near a turkey, with a pilgrim, with an Indian. It was featured by itself, it was outside marring the beautiful scenery. But it was always there. And even on the calendars without a picture it would sneak its little wicker basket self in there.

Horns of sadness is more like it

And when I grew up I started to resent it, not just because of the beauty of the other months. But because the cornucopia was always so forced. I never remember us having one for any other day. I don’t remember getting a cornucopia to celebrate the crisp days of autumn, from a horn of plenty lot. Actually it was just wicker with plastic fruit on my grandma’s kitchen table. And it was only out for Thanksgiving. Now here is the moment we can all admit it’s not as charming as a Christmas tree, it’s not as fun as an Easter basket stuffed with candy, and it definitely could not hold a candle to a pink foiled doily valentine, heck it can’t even compete with Flag Day. It’s just a wicker horn with vegetables in it. And since I never have had to live a cold winter clutching my wicker horn to get me through the long nights, I just can’t get into it.

I also want to take this time to share from first to sixth grade I had to color the same cornucopia color page… every year. It may have even been this picture:

linked from family color pages. Featuring Families that color horns of seasonal fruits and vegetables

And one more thing about cornucopia’s. They are not even very convenient. I mean I don’t carry around horns of water. Or horns of markers. When I go to the market I don’t say “Horn” when they ask “Paper or plastic”. There are so many better ways to hold things. Bags, boxes, those little packs on the sides of mules. I just don’t get their horn-shaped allure.

And although this week I will get to see my family and eat wonderful food with them. And I will have a fantastic time… there is just a little hesitation knowing that a horned foe may show up. I just hope that we have plenty too cumbersome to fit in that wicker horn… if you know what I mean.

Happy Thanksgiving week everybody. Decorate accordingly.