The Pro’s and Con’s of Cornucopias

19 Nov

Hi Internet. This is a new type of post for me. It’s a pro/con subject matter. And this one is about cornucopia’s. If you find yourself questioning the existence of the horn of plenty… this is the article Phil Collins would say you’ve been waiting for all your life.

Pro Cornucopia: Amber’s side of the cornucopia debate

I’m indifferent.  They just hold fruit and stuff… I don’t see the big deal.

I don’t love them or hate them.

Indifferently yours,

Amber

Con Cornucopia: Lauren’s Cornucopia Conundrum

It’s Lauren. And I have something to tell you. I don’t like cornucopia’s. The back story of this is that when I was a kid I loved to check the brand new calendar to see what day of the week my birthday was. Like every other cool kid out there I prayed it never landed on a Wednesday… because it would be too far to wait for a weekend! But the calendar always had alternative plans for me…

Unlike my sister who was born in July and usually had beautiful pictures of fireworks. And my parents born in June had beaches, summer in full swing. And both Christine and Isabel born in March who would have fields of gorgeous flowers for their calendar month. And the children of December who had these fantastic winter scenes, Christmas, promises for the New Year… and of course October and September riddled with the most gorgeous changing leaf colors you have ever seen. And then there was November… and the Cornucopia.

It was on a table, near a turkey, with a pilgrim, with an Indian. It was featured by itself, it was outside marring the beautiful scenery. But it was always there. And even on the calendars without a picture it would sneak its little wicker basket self in there.

Horns of sadness is more like it

And when I grew up I started to resent it, not just because of the beauty of the other months. But because the cornucopia was always so forced. I never remember us having one for any other day. I don’t remember getting a cornucopia to celebrate the crisp days of autumn, from a horn of plenty lot. Actually it was just wicker with plastic fruit on my grandma’s kitchen table. And it was only out for Thanksgiving. Now here is the moment we can all admit it’s not as charming as a Christmas tree, it’s not as fun as an Easter basket stuffed with candy, and it definitely could not hold a candle to a pink foiled doily valentine, heck it can’t even compete with Flag Day. It’s just a wicker horn with vegetables in it. And since I never have had to live a cold winter clutching my wicker horn to get me through the long nights, I just can’t get into it.

I also want to take this time to share from first to sixth grade I had to color the same cornucopia color page… every year. It may have even been this picture:

linked from family color pages. Featuring Families that color horns of seasonal fruits and vegetables

And one more thing about cornucopia’s. They are not even very convenient. I mean I don’t carry around horns of water. Or horns of markers. When I go to the market I don’t say “Horn” when they ask “Paper or plastic”. There are so many better ways to hold things. Bags, boxes, those little packs on the sides of mules. I just don’t get their horn-shaped allure.

And although this week I will get to see my family and eat wonderful food with them. And I will have a fantastic time… there is just a little hesitation knowing that a horned foe may show up. I just hope that we have plenty too cumbersome to fit in that wicker horn… if you know what I mean.

Happy Thanksgiving week everybody. Decorate accordingly.

Lauren

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6 Responses to “The Pro’s and Con’s of Cornucopias”

  1. Lafemmeroar November 19, 2012 at 7:02 pm #

    lmao on “horns of water”!

    • Viciously Sweet November 20, 2012 at 9:04 am #

      Cornucopia’s are very useless creations… I assume most would never hold sufficient water! :)

  2. The Hook November 21, 2012 at 10:35 am #

    Inspirign post! Seriously, you challenge me to polish my comedic skills!

    • Viciously Sweet November 21, 2012 at 3:03 pm #

      Oh no! You are very funny yourself, sir! I laugh every time I read about your work capers!

  3. Sherry Whitsett October 12, 2015 at 11:59 pm #

    Laughed till I cried.

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