So in the Jolly United States. It is the days where we celebrate not being a weird large satellite of England. And yesterday the Fourth of it all, every inch of green space from coast to coast was filled with joy, barbecue, friends and marginally illegal fireworks.
I am saying this from experience. I lived the fourth of July dream that Thomas Jefferson was all about. I drank, I saw fireworks, I chatted, I wore a sweater, and saw people running through alley’s with launchers and scads of fireworks that are safer in less arid areas of the US.
Since a Holiday this year was on a Thursday there was many a possibility for a 4 day weekend. In fact, 93% of the population is still traipsing around in luscious weather, eating expensive sandwiches and drinking before happy hour. I am not a part of that majority. I am the people who had to go to work. Getting here this morning was legitimately one of the hardest things I have experienced in the last week. And I did bootcamp bellydance snake arms for 40 minutes. But once I got here I convinced myself it’s not too bad because I didn’t have to use my vacation time, and I am technically making money on a day where no clients would call at all…
But still being at work when you would rather be someplace else leads to things like this:
All of these things are so good to be doing.
And I am inclined to think that nearly anyone would rather watch TV in a fort of legos while eating waffles is better than making PDFs for hours straight.
Happy 5th of July to everyone in every part of the world.
The title of this post seems a little sexier than my posts probably are. So how am I going to combine “subliminal messages” with clothing and my blinding optimism together? Well brace yourself this blog is about to get *snaps fingers together* thrilling.
Well, let’s just say I discovered based on the way I dress to work, I can control the conversations had in the office. It’s happened a few times in a few outfits, and I think its hilarious. My clothing has caused long discussions of the Wedding Singer, Wonder Woman, 80s teen movies, and 13 going on 30. Basically my wheelhouse of interests since I usually try to avoid talking to my coworkers about anything resembling my personal life (sorry Amber, this is why I enjoy my corner seat… I only talk to you!)
Anyways a few weeks ago I went shopping and got found this dress. It made me feel like singing about how pretty I feel. Basically I was like channeling Maria from “West Side Story.” When I left the dressing room this other store customer told me sassily “That dress is all you.” I was thrilled. I bought it and I felt pity on any girl that wasn’t in that dress (not really, that’s a little harsh.)
So I finally got the time in the morning to wear my dress and make myself look like a human. I got to work and by 9:30 Johnny was snapping his fingers and talking about the gangs in “West Side Story.” Only an hour and a half in and I was a success. We discussed Bernardo and his purple suits… and then we pondered why any gangs would pick orange and purple as their colors. I mean those are like soda colors. Like Kool-Aid flavors. And really nonthreatening, btw. I mean imagine being accosted by a man in a purple well fitted suit. What can he really do to you… give you a makeover? Not let you go to the dance?
I feel pretty witty and bright too!
And just in case you want to put on a red dress and sing this song… you don’t even have to go far:
It’s all work and well more work… and work on the weekend to make deadlines kind of work.
Needless to say the sun is not the only thing burning me out during the 8-5 of it all.
In fact all this work has made me feel uber dull. In fact I was feeling like when Spongebob stopped being silly and devoted his life to becoming more normal:
I felt like I lost that silly spark of mine.
I had this terrifying dream on Monday night of me being in a beige blazer in a cubicle, doing spread sheets and i couldn’t get them to print right on my 80’s dot matrix printer. Basically I was Jane Fonda in 9-5 and I was hating my existence:
I feel bad that she had to wear this outfit… I feel worse that I was wearing it’s beige cousin in my dreams.
And I felt trapped. This horrible amount work is controlling everything do. I mean is was even in my dreams!
I was only really resuscitated yesterday by a day of severe office goofing off… my deadlines were over and the new guy is really fun to be goofy with.
This is kind of what yesterday was like… but more like this with ruler jousting.
… and making bottle launchers, and playing pranks on Amber. (Who I think secretly enjoyed the weird screensaver and Rick-rolling.)
So in a better state of mind from a less stressful work load. I decided to get back into a doodly state of mind. I looked in my vast archives to find a doodle I made when I was a completely joy enraptured state.
And I found this stunning brainstorming cloud up in my fancy notebook. It explains the perfect storm of my personal happiness:
Just some things that put a smile on my face.
And reading all my silly joys just brought me right back to my giggly self.
I am sitting here thinking about vinyl records, the beach, how very nice the blanket I have stuffed in my work desk feels. I have a feeling the rest of my day may just be awesome.
Also I think I have a great idea for a series of things that make me and others go “Oooh.” Be prepared. Tell me things that make you go “Oooh” too… and you never know what can be doodled from that!
♥Lauren
(All images that are not mine are courtesy of Tumblr)
I have been gone for a while. But I never stay away too long. I actually I get really bummed when I don’t get to blog or draw for a while and well it’s time to get back to doodling!
Today I have to share something that has never happened to me in the nearly 7 years I have worked for this company.
I actually have too much light in my workspace.
You see I’m used to working in a space with no natural light :
This is pretty much my old cubicle space [image courtesy of imgur]Before you say… Hey Lauren, I remember you totally wanted a window when you moved offices? Well yes, I do remember this. And having a window is really great! I get to see hummingbirds, and squirrels galore (better than just seeing wasps and spiders). But I was just not prepared for all the light. I guess all 7 years of mole like office conditions, made me forget how serious the sun can be. It is in fact so serious, that in the afternoon when I look at my west facing window my computer screen seems as if I am staring into the pearly gates of Microsoft Excel.
Hey Girl, welcome to my pearly gates… have you got that color board sent out to my homie Jim? He really needs that thing.
At a few times after I had to put on sunglasses to see my emails… I thought maybe I was on my way to the pearly gates and I still had a work deadline. Only I would be working until the end. And I hadn’t even seen the rest of season 4 of Arrested Development… I just couldn’t deal with that thought. But I could deal with the thought that heaven is probably full of really good food and I was kind of hungry.
And now I have come to the conclusion… that I may be the office vampire. I mean I like being pasty, I am always wearing sunscreen (even at work) and I am quite skilled at adept at avoiding sun beams, and well I’m not a big fan of being stabbed with wooden stakes.
My boss thought I was exaggerating when he came out of his office to see me typing with my sunglasses on. The when he came over to my cubicle he realized I was in fact not exaggerating with my Stevie Wonder like wardrobe change. He then told me I could get extra blinds because when he came into my cubicle space and couldn’t even see the work on my computer.
I knew I wasn’t exaggerating that badly… and plus working with shades makes me feel cool, like Lenny Kravitz, or Shades from “That Thing You Do”.
I am a mole person in Malibu Barbie’s work space. Like totally.
Today I wanted a pretzel, but like a good one. You know a soft pretzel that has like saltiness, and is delivered to you buy angel’s playing a harp with their non pretzel holding hand. But, I had to settle for a hard one from work. They are okay and everything but no one ever closes the container and well, they are not fresh. Like 2 days after they come into this office… they are beyond unfresh.
And much like a Mindy Kaling book, everyone at work is hanging out without me. I know this because I found them all in one room when I was on my way to the bathroom. I listened for a minute or two, but was not really interested in the fact that they were talking about girls throwing up and being drunk in general. And the lushiest lush of all of them was enjoying the fact he was the only sober person at this event. Like, seriously so much nerve was being had! And as he bragged about his un-inebriated state, I told him “Well, there is a first time for everything.”
Why am I going on about this? This post is supposed to be about snacks…
So anyways I ate pretzels. And I don’t usually say this about food… but:
I have been vacationing. Or as cool hip people say “Stay-cationing”.
And it was nice.
Got to see my family. Got a super cool tan on just my arms.
But let’s be honest. I am not Justin Timberlake and I must go back to work a lot sooner than in 7 years. The poor girl I am got more like 4 days (3 if you count one of them was a national holiday). And so I got into the office kind of keeping a low profile as I left the office last week with pretty cold feelings about the dudes I work with.
I got through to lunch by talking to Amber, getting my work done… and very seriously ignoring the other 2 like crazy.
And then I went to the bathroom, and I was engaged in small talk. With the more silent, but equally insulting person I work with. A person who before I went on my break called me “the weirdest person he’s ever met” without humor behind it and who had previously told me some pretty cruel unasked for observations on my personality. A real stand up kind of dude, if you would.
While I was talking to him about my family’s trip and a really strange day to pick at Disneyland. BECAUSE HE ASKED, I REMIND YOU! I notice another coworker giving him a look and then rolling his eyes at me. They both looked at each other and smiled. And I don’t know what that meant, but I knew it was about them being straight up not nice people.
To quote Stephanie Tanner:
Seriously Rude. Image courtesy of Gifrific.com
Usually I try to take their insults with stride, trying to be the bigger person. But I am quite candidly done. I am not running for new Mother Teresa. After that special conversation I realized, I am not crazy about them, and I don’t find them to be respectful characters in my life. But seriously, I had only talked to them for about 3 minutes in a whole work day.
I cannot forgive their rudeness today. I mean they only have to see me for 3 days, why can’t they just be pleasant?!?!?!
Well at least this conversation left me inspired to make today’s doodle:
This may hinder my need for a tattoo across my stomach that says “PUGLIFE” when I leave this profession to become a world famous pug dealer… but it may be more helpful for my life in general.
I hope everyone else’s day was a little less rude. Also, I have permanent marker all over my hands because I cannot handle pens…
Now I’m going to draw sections of buildings and be happy.
Today’s story is just about how I don’t get things.
I was raised Roman Catholic. I was big time into all doing the communion stuff when I was growing up. I have a rosary by my bed given to me by my grandmother. I love me some gilded paintings of Jesus. I even for like 4 months at 16 thought about being a nun…. Which I later discovered I would have really sucked at (seriously, me not accessorizing to quote the great Cher Horowitz… “As if”). Nor could I really be like an Indiana Jones of religious relic’s (apparently searching isn’t as exciting as Harrison Ford makes it). And last religious confession. There is some Saint Francis statue in my backyard that I am terrified to move because he’s broken… and I don’t know what to do with him, especially since he’s broken. So he can sit there forever according to my logic until he once again becomes a part of the Earth.
Now that I have relinquished this information about me, I would like to say that in no way am I closed off or judgmental about anyone’s beliefs (but I think this blog makes that evident). And one more thing every religion is cool… and no one should use any of their beliefs to make them think they are better than anyone else, or bring others down… because no religion except for Meanology should be into that.
But, back to my story of not really understanding things. Being raised Catholic I have never really understood “Bible Study”. When I was a kid in communion classes, Bible Study was really like studying the Bible. And for that matter I pretty much had my fill of religious learning after my last religion class in High School. It according to me and my friends, was obviously a punishment for all of our sins. And consisted of 5 days a week of an elderly man talking about whatever he felt like. 2 days were dedicated solely to his love of coca-cola products. Other days about the song “Waltzing with Bears”, because the local hillside was on fire. I actually considered it a blessing when our class was interrupted by a fire imposed break. And then when we resumed he would tell us about how he felt about appropriate theater applause, candied apples, and of course how he felt about WWII. After that I never wanted to be an organized studier of anything, especially if I could end up with a lecturer like that.
Well anyways flash forward a few years and here I am. I am constantly hearing that people and my coworkers are going to Bible study. Having a bible study. Attending a bible study weekend. Going to a bible study conference. Leading a Bible Study. Taking a Bible Study to a hot date on a Saturday night.
And here I am thinking that all they do in their spare time is read the Bible. I mean they’ve been reading it for years, they must spend their time quoting thing like about, peace and doves, and puling camels through the eye of a needle. But they never quote the Bible at work!?! Which is cool since this is an architecture practice and not a Bible Study group. And that is how I carried on with my days.
Until Mindy Kaling taught me a little bit about Christianity. In an episode of the Mindy Project she had a Bible Study. And I finally felt like I had an in… my questions about this are all going to be answered. And I get to see Chris Messina in a speedo.
You are welcome.
Oh boy, I pretty much forgot about the Bible Study thing for a moment there. So Mindy’s Bible study. She had wine, and a banner, a nativity, and there was food, and weird paintings of Jesus (both black and white Jesus) and she was playing Amy Grant for mood music. It was actually kind of fun looking:
This is what I imagine my Bible study being like.
Then I told my coworkers about this and they told me that Mindy was lying. That isn’t what a Bible study was. And where I was a little concerned that Mindy was not telling me the truth … I still got to see Chris Messina in speedos. (Bright side of life… right?) Then I was told in their Bible Study they don’t even study the Bible… they just like meet as a group and discuss life, or how to be successful in relationships, and stuff.
And I was like…. WHAT?!??? No multi-racial Jesus pictures? No wine? No Amy Grant?
Bible study is just people hanging out… I guess.
And well even though the whole meeting and discussing life thing is super great….I think the title is misleading, it should be called something else. Like religious people of liked mind’s. But I think that may sound scarier than it actually is. Anyways, I totally know what “Bible Study” is now. Now to go uncover other truths about things!
Viciously Sweet 