Today I have been at home. Ill as hell… I think my body has turned against me.
So, I have spent my day studying for the ARE, messaging Jimmy and my sister… and tormenting my cats.
See Rocket as a fancy paper lion.
I’m going to go eat some crackers.
I’m not a big apologizer and I’m not going to start anytime soon… But while watching some Mark Ruffalo movies in the last week I came to a stunning conclusion.
This leads to my stunning press conference doodle:
I really only watched that movie, because I really like the song by the Cure… I mean it seemed like they would play the song in it… and well at least I didn’t pay for the tickets to see it, oh wait… I probably did.
P.S. There is nothing else in el total mundo I have to apologize for.
♫Lauren
Christine and I get to see Tina Fey and Steve Martin today at Club Nokia… I’m so excited I mostly finished this doodle:
Pardon me… I think I’m going to go to the hallway now.
♫Lauren
Okay I know that there is some sort of respect and well wishing that must be sent to the people experiencing incredible devastation 5,000 miles from here.
And of course I send them well wishes, prayers, and safety!
But now to my more localized thoughts. Yes I have real thoughts! And here they are!
* I am happy that I did not give up Tina Fey related media for Lent, because Christine and I are going to see her (AND STEVE MARTIN) in LA next month. I could pass out for the joy that some of my dreams are actually ALIVE!
* I have mixed feelings about violence towards the Dab… who would have had to remove the heel of my shoe from his face if I had missed a night with Tina Fey and Steve Martin. And because I feel like I still may hit him, just because.
* I am really excited to see Isabel this weekend because witnessing her in real life is so much better than textually online.
*I can’t believe I made it through this week without cursing at people during work. (They totally deserve it) Not Amber though :) Also you should never make a girl mad who can photoshop with reckless abandon!
I am really sad that I never posted folkerico… which is Eric photoshopped on a woman folklorico dancer… if you couldn’t figure it out, shame on me for being nice.
*Also I would like everyone to know that you can say whatever you like about me, and you don’t have to like me or anything of the sort. But personally, I think I’m pretty rad (and I think you know it too):
Have a nice weekend and be safe and delicious!
LAUREN OUT!
Okay so I’ve been playing with Madmenyourself.
And then I took those things and made this… Which on a sidenote is how Christine, Isabel and I would look if we had a show like the “Golden Girls” but it were set in the 60’s…
Christine would be a wild streaked, brassy dip entrepreneur. Isabel a peppy and perky scientist, and I would be the sassy and clumsy architect. Place this in Palm Springs, add in some fabulous ascot wearing neighbors, a hall of disco dancers, and Flavor Flav and I think this is a go…Pitch this to Bravo. I’m sure they would love it.
♫Lauren
So about 2 weeks ago I had a dream that Christine got married.
And she didn’t invite me or Isabel. She forgot. Isabel received her invitation the day before the wedding… But mine was not to be found…
Instead we saw her nuptials on facebook… And what I saw was terrifying.
It looked like the 1980s and a classy George Washington painting had a baby with grimace of McDonalds fame during the festival mardi gras. It was wrong. It was really wrong… for reals.
And thanks to the magic of doodling and the bounty of photos on the internet… I can share my nightmare with you…
Her ceremony mildly looked like this, except it had more swaggy fabric:
and Christine bragged about her dress which looked like this:
Here is a handier diagram for those who are not in my brain:
She walked down the aisle to Angel dressed like George Washington…. Who actually looks cool dressed like the first president of our country, at an Elton John concert:
And maybe it was good we were not invited… because, all her bridemaids looked like grimace:
It was at times fascinating and disgusting, and magical all in one.
But, please don’t ever be real. Also no more dreams with facebook
♫Lauren
This is kind of a new Installment of Storytime with Lauren.
Once upon a time there was a girl who wanted food at Disneyland.
Remember when I was up in arms about fried chicken?
Well it’s happened again. After the terrible loss of fried chicken, I have moved my desired Disney food to the pizza realm.
Pizza from its german/pinnochio themed experience:
Because not only does it have pizza but it plays yodeling music, which is awesome to eat pizza to. It makes you want to slap on some lederhosen, and craft a child our of wood.
Well when I got to the old Village Haus. I was surprised as hell to see that it was boarded up and closed.
The sign said “If you want to enjoy pizza go to the Rocket Port.” Being that Rocket port pizza is nasty and by the slice I said “Let’s just go to the by the slice place in California adventure.”
This is how far I had to go to get this:
And when I got there… the Restaurant was torn down. No pizza for anyone. Sometimes Disney stories have awful endings….
♫Lauren
There have been many reasons as of late that contribute to the lack of site posts.
In fact I got no funnies today… nor any Gaston references to pass on to the people…
But I would like to make a little shout out to my dog who passed away yesterday…
I would like to think she’s eating hot dogs with Jesus right now.
♫Lauren
Today’s story time with Lauren is 100% true:
It’s pretty crappy that all she got was a hair cut and some prince that uses her to get to the top.
I mean, seriously. come on.
♫Lauren
Viciously Sweet 