Tale of Eye Makeup Terror

| Viciously Sweet

Okay this is not really a scary story.

BUT, it is scary if you are me.

I’m currently not being allowed to wear eye makeup because of my weird dry skin. So I have only been allowed to wear mascara and blush pretty much. And as people know I have never not worn eye make-up outside since I was 15, and I find it terrifying.

And now I look like I’m 17 again… 

But I didn’t thankfully turn into Zac Efron.

This last weekend I was asked when I was going to college by a teen, and also asked out by the same teen. ICK ICK ICK. I told him, “I’m really old, and this is not right.”

So to look like I’m age to vote I’m trying to figure out if I can get fake eyelashes. Perhaps I may look like a gogo dancer, but at least I’ll look like a real grown up.

The End.

That was today’s story with Lauren!

♫Lauren

Isabel and Clay in Wonderland

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There is no better way to spend a summer day than lounging at the wonderful Disneyland resort.

While everybody else is doing their 9-5, i.e. drawing buildings and selling dip (not pronounced Depp) Isabel and Clay frolic about the most Orange of counties playing about with large whimsical cups.

*Also is Isabel wearing the blue heart jewel from Titanic? I didn’t realize they had gotten to that stage in their relationship.

**Good Luck on your presentation Isabel

♫Lauren

Stories about Elliott

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I have a cat his name is Elliott.

Elliott likes to do many things, like eating, breaking my mother’s possessions and sleeping.

Here likes to sleep on towels, my head, my pillow, the window sill, his kitty scratchy tube, any person he can sit on, and….

♫Lauren

The Tale of Jimbraham Lincoln

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I didn’t forget about Story Time with Lauren!

Today I bring you a poem about a Jimmy/Abraham Lincoln hybrid:

His Name is Jimbraham Lincoln,

He wakes up in the morning yawning and blinkin’…

When he looks at the ladies he cannot stop winkin’

and he likes to end his days with some tea and fried chinkin’

♫Lauren

Oh Fuse, I am in Misery

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So I have been without my Fuse TV for 12 days now and I feel like I’m falling so far away from current music videos, or entertainment that fits my attention span.

So I either have to find them online or listen to Jimmy tell me about them.

Today I feel I must discuss 2 videos one described to me by Jimmy and one witnessed on Youtube, by 2 very different artists that kinda look similar:

So Jimmy super does not like this music video for “Misery” by Maroon 5. He told me it was 4 minutes of Adam Levine be all up, over and about some girl. SO, it’s a typical Maroon 5 video:

I am cool with this, and I think as always the song is catchy as hell. I also like that he is being beaten up in the streets of LA by some girl who looks like she way made up by Amy Winehouse. Ooooh also she likes knives, stabs his hand and also beats him senseless! I’m not so offended by this.

 On a side note: I am just not so cool with Adam Levine grinding and staring at me, it’s happened before when I had really good seats to a Maroon 5 concert, and I don’t ever want to be that close to him ever again.

The next music video is “Crossfire” by Killers-less Brandon Flowers (whose solo album is lusciously titled “Flamingos”). I do like the song and I do like the Flowers as previously stated about 20 times in this blog…but why is he in these predicaments? And why does Charlize Theron have so much time to rescue him? Why is he so happy to be in a straightjacket? Why is he not in this costume:

Eh, I still enjoy it.

♫Lauren

Please don’t be Helpful Youtube

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For some reason when you start typing in “Simon and Garfunkel” on Youtube it thinks you really mean “Single Ladies” from Beyonce until you finish the word “Simon”… then it asks if you really mean Simon Cowell.

Seriously Youtube, Simon and Garfunkel are pretty famous, maybe even more so than Miss Beyonce Feyonce Knowles… remember Mrs. Robinson, or “the Graduate” thanks internet.

But also I think youtube has inspired me enough to put a ring on S&G.

ring it

♫Lauren

Partying with Jimmy

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Jimmy is an unusual Lad he likes to stay at home, all the time.

Some may think it’s because he doesn’t like to be social, but my theory is that Jimmy likes to party with his neighbors.  And not the neighbors you may think:

What a party animal.

THE END

♫Lauren

Last Nite

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Okay I must say that this post involves Vampires. But not those lusty and highly glossy vampires of Twilight, I’m talking about those campy goofy and evil vampires of 1992′ “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

It was on TV last night and since I remember loving it as a kid, I couldn’t help but watch it.

And my re-watch proved that I truly love campy movies. It had all of the best film elements you could ask for…

The Valley Girl:

buff this

The Bad Boy turned swell guy (remember how cool he was?):

perry!

The Vampire played by Paul Reubens:

weeeeee

Ben Affleck as a basketball player:

affleck attack

Hillary Swank as a bratty teen:

teen

Donald Southerland in this fedora:

merrick!

And David Arquette as the world’s most irritating vampire:

annoying!

A dance with the theme “Hug the World”

Thank you 90’s movies, I am all about all of that stuff! And I feel like hugging the world because of it!

♫Lauren

Holy Smokes

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There is a church that keeps calling my phone and leaving messages. Is this a call from the Lord or is is totally okay to block them?
I’m thinking of blocking them like a lego.

♫Lauren