FAQ’s with Lauren

Do you ever get asked a question so many times you came with a personal FAQ. I wish I did then I wouldn’t have to answer the same questions over and over.

Especially the annoying ones.

So: FAQ’s about Lauren

Are you really that short?

  • Yes, I am 5′-0″ and I still choose to wear flats. Also I have to cut off like 8″ of pants when I buy a new pair.

Come on… is that a weave?

  • Sadly, no. My hair is real, and all mine.

Is your personality for real?

  • Yes, it is. Sometimes I know I’m a little perky for my own good. Conversely, I am also a troublemaker. Mischief and Shenanigans are truly synonymous with my existence.
Let’s be sneaky sneaks!

Does everyone know about that thing that happened to you at work?

  • Yes, I am that girl that really cruddy thing happened to. And now I like being walked to my car by not creepy people.

Do you just love “Family Guy”?

  • Sorry, I don’t watch Family Guy, I just don’t get the humor.

Are you really Jenna Rink?

  • I do like the movie “13 going on 30,” a little too much. And my new coworker sometimes thinks I live her life, but that is only on Tuesdays- Thursdays. But I do plan on being Flirty Thirty and Thriving in a few years.
Pretty much me all day…

Tell us about Enrique Iglesias!

  • Enrique Iglesias did squeeze my butt when I hugged him. He smelled good and is more handsome that pictures can show him. Also he has a firm grip.
I can touch your butt, and you won’t even complain. But don’t let creepy dudes do it…. okay,

 

Do you have a boyfriend?

  • I am single. If you would like to inquire more please see the attached doodle:
And then maybe they will just sulk away and leave me alone in my alone-ness.

But life is never that simple. Actually, I never thought until right now how hard it must be to be Jennifer Aniston. Imagine all the questions she has to answer about how single she is, and how no one likes her… and how Enrique Iglesias never grabbed her butt. I bet her hair dresser is all over her singleness, and so are the waitresses at the restaurants she goes to, her cousins, that really prying Aunt… just can’t get enough about it.

But then again she has all sorts of money and got to kiss Paul Rudd for money… so her life is actually really fantastic.

And, I would trade the entire Enrique Iglesias thing for some Paul Rudd time.

Yeppers… me just all over this. Our hair is just so wavy the possibilites are getting better. 

Lauren

(images besides mine, courtesy of: Tumblr)

My inner Jenna Rink

I have some art to work on after work so I’m going to make sure I have a Lauren-y movie to watch tonight and it’s all about “13 going on 30” tonight. No matter how many times I see it, I always get sucked in to all the fun and joys of Jenna Rink dealing with being a grown up.

I always find myself relating to Jenna. I somehow feel like the rest of me grew up and left my brain somewhere else. I mean I just learned today that Shepard’s pie is a meat pie, and not a pie made by a Shepard (and I’m envisioning one of the guys who hangs out with baby Jesus here.) And that is really just the tip of the iceberg of things I don’t get, that everyone already knows.

And that dream house…

Oh, I still want it. I don’t know if it’s because I’m working on being a licensed architect and I love movie houses… or just because I want some of that wishing dust, and to have a slumber party with my girlfriends where we sing Pat Benatar songs until we pass out.

Anyways I have some art to make and some Mark Ruffalo to watch. So just remember:

Lauren

I like the way you swing your briefcase

Okay so this is mostly about how I am ashamed of myself for watching ABC Family’s “Beauty and the Briefcase.” It sounded alright…. Hillary Duff, cute clothes, Matt Dallas, hilarious office shenanigans…

 

But, it turned out so very very wrong.

I really must say I watched it because of this particular guy:

who was on this particular show:

with this kid from “Glee”:

BUT what I didn’t expect  is that although Matt Dallas was refered to as starring in this Movie.  It really meant he was only in it for 5-8 minutes. And she never gave him a chance… to talk or anything. LAME!

What I found is that the character in this movie were highly improbable and at the same time unlikable.  Hillary Duff is writing an undercover piece for Cosmopolitan Magazine about finding love with a professional man. As all she does is wear colorful clothing, drink with the guys from her office, and lament over a list concocted as a teenage girl to find the dreamiest guy. By the way her answer to dreamy guy is some dude with a foreign accent, who travels on a whim, and is suprising.

This is how I imagine him:

 And on a bonus of a sidenote: All her and her friends talk about are men and sex while wearing hideous avocado masks, drinking wine in a box and eating junk food. Which is apparently exactly how girls act. And although she knows nothing about business, she tries to save the company with her trendy presentation skills. Even more lame.

Oh and she keeps referring to her “dream guy” as a “magic man”… this is all I could think of:

Yeah that is apparently all women do.  I found this movie an exact copy of “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days” and “13 going on 30” without any of the depth. And these movies are not exactly deep. Not even her “I dress really cute” clothes could save this movie.

So if you want to watch a cute movie about a girl and fashion magazines, always go for Jenna Rink. Thank you for your time.

♫LAUREN

P.S. Why does ABC Family keep telling me its “a different kind of family”. It sounds like they are pedophiles.

30, Flirty & Thriving

I think you should watch “13 going on 30” because it’s awesome.

Go buy some razzles, and listen to some Pat Benetar…  I’m reccomending this because I have boundless energy today, and this isn’t the help of coffee or chicklets… or even razzles.

But I wish I were watching this and not my monitor…  because today at work I do not feel flirty or thriving…  if I were thriving I may be doing this:

and not this:

And remember to Wang Chung tonight.

shoes!

♫lauren