2011

Professional Quote of the Day: October 21st

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Good Afternoon Professional Quote followers!

Sorry for the lack of posts, there has been so much work activity this week it has been difficult to find proper professional information to share with the masses.

But, today being the Eric’s true professionalism has shown through the clouds, and has dropped some professional enlightenment on the San Gabriel Valley.
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There are so many things that can excite a professional. Efficiently managing projects, re-pathing file locations, thoroughly answering professional related questions, defragging everyone’s hard drives… and coordinating, as this Professional Quote of the Day demonstrates:

Come on he’s so professional he has no time to spare for those who cannot coordinate with professional prowess.
♫Lauren

Have a Professional Weekend!

Introduction to STAB!

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Sometimes I have incredible yet very credible rage. I usually doodle it out because no one likes a pissy Lauren (especially The Dab, I think this is his #7 fear.) And, also sometimes I wish Reginald Stabby was real so he could deal with my problems:

Be careful I hear he has some cutting words for you.

♫Lauren

Provocative by moonlight

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After an extensive amount of scientific testing the Cecelia, the provocative cactus is proven to be the most fascinating and titillating Cactaceae in the known universe. She is 24/7 provocative, as proven in her moonlit appearance below:

By the way this doodle was selected to be posted today by Professional Eric, doodle selector extraordinaire. Who has not given me professional knowledge today.
♫Lauren

Professional Quote of the Day: October 17th

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Good Day Professional Enthusiasts!

It is late in the workday on this Monday afternoon. But don’t you fret, because there is so much professional activity happening under this office roof today… it could make your t-shirt grow a tie!

Making his much-anticipated appearance on the intwerwebs today, Professional Eric discusses the proper corn choice for aspiring professionals in the following PQOTD:

Moral of the story:
The next time you are eating with Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, do not give them loose corn.
They will see through your professional ruse.
♫Lauren

This is why I cut you

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I have been extra spicy lately. And by that I mean a little more bite your face off.
Now I only really notice this when I am at work and I think it could be for the following reasons:

1. I am suffering from “cubicle fever.” I honest to goodness feel the 8×8 yellow walls closing in on me…
2. It is quieter than mime hell in this office. And I’m not the only one here? What kind of frothy hell am I in?
3. The office penguin needs a fresh new hat. Pirate Penguins are so last season.
4. The temperature in the office is set on make Lauren into “Encino Man.” And I’m not really into Brendan Fraser.
5. I really want to see my new niece. She’s so fresh.
6. There is no “Mad Men” on TV. And it’s what I want, what I really really want.
7. The Beach boys do not enunciate their words in “Barbara Ann.” This is an absolute concern to me today.
8. I want to be dressed like Elvira, for all the rest of time. But no one can handle me being that provocative. Also I don’t think that hair will fit in my car.
9.The apple I brought to work today was supposed to be a “golden delicious,” and it was more of a “yellow mushy”… also it tasted only like wet.
10. I only remembered 175 countries out of the 198 countries in the world. Darn you Caribbean Islands, especially you Grenada. Because I totally forgot you existed.

I’m in serious need of a Photoshop break.

♫Lauren

Provocative Cactus gets Salacious

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Hey There Doodle Lovers,
I know that this website is usually a beacon of truth and cleanliness.

But now that Provocative Cactus is around she wants to push the envelope.
And now she’s now even wearing her cactus covers, but Tipper Gore found her before she could get online all uncensored:

Now that is a whole lotta cactus.
♫Lauren

Advice Lauren: Your vegetables

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Hi Everybody!
I was thinking about making a casual advice column on my blog.

Because I’m full or rad ideas.

So today I give you a very special kernel of advice which can work for anyone:

And if you don’t you’ll most likely die. Because you don’t know where your food has been, it could have been all butt to mouth, and you wouldn’t even know.

♫Lauren

Professional Quote of the Day: October 13th

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The time has come to get your PQOTD on!

Professionals don’t need a play by-play. They are looking at the future. They are strategizing for possible outcomes. They are making excel spreadsheets based on 7 years in the future.

In short a true professional has already thought all the things you have already thought and all the things you eventually will.

Let’s tie that in with a Professional Quote of the Day:

In fact, Eric’s thinking ahead is landing his thoughts in the summer of 2022.
He’s so got a pie chart brewing in his heart for that.

♫Lauren

Professional Quote of the Day: October 12th

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Good Afternoon Professional Quote Enthusiasts!

There has been a serious lack of professionalism on this blog lately and I am going to bring an end to it!

Have you ever been in the presence of a professional whose reports are so pristine, drawings so flawless, details so error-less. And you want to give them a professional salute?

Then beads of sweat appear on your brow, and dread fills your innards. How do you give a professional salute? Is is a high-five? No, too Bill and Ted. Is it with 2 fingers? 4? All 10?

Well worry no more Professional Eric is back with the PQOTD and he’s going to teach you about professional protocol:

*Relief* Now I know what to do next time! And apparently 4 finger salutes are for hippies. And they don’t salute professionals.
♫Lauren