Okay so I’ve been playing with Madmenyourself.
And then I took those things and made this… Which on a sidenote is how Christine, Isabel and I would look if we had a show like the “Golden Girls” but it were set in the 60’s…
Christine would be a wild streaked, brassy dip entrepreneur. Isabel a peppy and perky scientist, and I would be the sassy and clumsy architect. Place this in Palm Springs, add in some fabulous ascot wearing neighbors, a hall of disco dancers, and Flavor Flav and I think this is a go…Pitch this to Bravo. I’m sure they would love it.
Christine told me her secret desire was to live in oldtown Sacramento… because it’s nickname is “Old Sac”.
She will live in the the old mining town with her only furniture being lovesacs… to carry on her sac motif.
Or maybe she said the term “old sac” was super gross.
So about 2 weeks ago I had a dream that Christine got married.
And she didn’t invite me or Isabel. She forgot. Isabel received her invitation the day before the wedding… But mine was not to be found…
Instead we saw her nuptials on facebook… And what I saw was terrifying.
It looked like the 1980s and a classy George Washington painting had a baby with grimace of McDonalds fame during the festival mardi gras. It was wrong. It was really wrong… for reals.
And thanks to the magic of doodling and the bounty of photos on the internet… I can share my nightmare with you…
Her ceremony mildly looked like this, except it had more swaggy fabric:
and Christine bragged about her dress which looked like this:
Here is a handier diagram for those who are not in my brain:
She walked down the aisle to Angel dressed like George Washington…. Who actually looks cool dressed like the first president of our country, at an Elton John concert:
And maybe it was good we were not invited… because, all her bridemaids looked like grimace:
This dress flatters no one
It was at times fascinating and disgusting, and magical all in one.
But, please don’t ever be real. Also no more dreams with facebook
♫Lauren
This is not exactly the flowers we went to see. But I had to clarify this, as this does exist in Pomona
Christine and I took a stroll to the fox theatre in Pomona… to see Brandon Flowers on Tuesday night.
Christine with strolling action
On our first attempt to gain entrance to the music venue I encountered the most vengeful of security guards who told us we had to throw away our lipgloss. Now, I had some fancy lipgloss with me, that I have become accustom to and had to be returned to the car… Electric pink gloss me and you forever.
This Lip Gloss is quarantined...
(I have since concoted a theory that Brandon Flowers has a lipgloss phobia and thought he would surely be glossed by some rogue hoochies.)
This may be true.
The show started with the magically accented Fran Healy.
You remember him from this:
He was awesome. During his set he played a song called “Sing Me to Sleep” which is a duet. He requested we imagine him having a Victor/ Victoria look… I could have helped him if I had been allowed my lipgloss. He was so awesome Christine bought his cd. (Which everyone should buy!)
And he finished his set with this song from Travis. Which is one of my personal fav’s.
While Mr. Flowers set was being unveiled the set change music was awesome. And included this song, which I sang with reckless abandon:
So fi-i-ine. We were in a more than thrilled mood. And then the hoochies came. Dressed like J-lo trannies from a 50 cent video, they loomed behind us… brushing us with their fingers hair and what not. All over our back regions. Screaming so loud you would have thought they shot Puffy.
I really though they were at the wrong concert.
Someone in this picture looks like a tranny J-lo. This person is not Christine nor me.
Then Brandon Appeared on stage kind of looking like the brawny man. He was fabulous. He sang and jerked around on the stage like we were at some fabulous new wave 1980s concert.
He could sell me paper towels anytime...
We also saw a girl from high school at the concert who recognized me in the darkness of the theater. I am mad recognizable.
The last song Brandon played left me in a conundrum because he played “when you were young” which has a line about someone not looking anything like Jesus…. but look at the guy next to Brandon he kind of looks like Jesus….
On our way to our car, we stopped an waited for Brandon. Christine got away and I was smushed into the crowd and briefly into Brandon himself. He has great skin, btw. It was crazy. Also I have this nice bruise to have as a keepsake….
I thought we could take a little stroll down memory lane-here is an old note I found from dear Lauren to me after I scarred her and Isabel for life senior year (*names have been changed to protect ourselves from more pain):
“Dearest Christ,
I was sitting here in math and I was wondering…why the hell do you own the movie ‘Center Stage’? When did you purchase it? Before or after senior year started? Do you get what I’m asking here?!?!?!?! Please say you bought it before, otherwise there might be irreversible damage to your taste! Remember, Jim-good, Billie Joe-good, Colin-good, *Ryan-grotesquely bad, bad, bad, Dave Grohl-very good, Dave Foley-old, Johnny Depp-very good, Ryan-still bad. Okay I think that’s enough. Maybe you’ve been playing too much ‘Monkey Island’. He’s not really Guybrush, I’m sorry (I think) he will never be Guybrushand he isn’t cool like Guybrush (which is sad). My dear confused Christ if you’re ever in need of… *sobbing* help *sob*.. just come to me *full out weeping*.. and I will *weep* do whatever I can *WEEP*.. we can get through this ‘Center Stage’ crisis… we really can.. there are clinics that can help.
ps-Say it isn’t so so!
pps-NOOOOO!!! *WEEP!*
ppps-Return it for a better movie!!!
Since this weekend I was trapped at home with 5 very small, super homeless kittens (I will explain in another post.) I decided to clean up and give away some already read books. Including books I’ve had since high school… Like that one from Mr. O’s class that we never ever used, not even once.
On a side note: One of my personal favorites “The Picture of Dorian Gray” will never be given away, but was with those stacks of books.
To get to the point of this post… I was perusing my old reading material when a hilarious list slid out from between its pages. It was a list with who my high school friends would be if it were the 1980’s.
The answers are as follows:
Christine’s tide would be high as Blondie’s front woman Deborah Harry
Although no longer blond, Christine could pull off this look. Give it a whirl.
Isabel would be rocking and rolling as Joan Jett.
I wonder if Joan could love Clay Aiken like that...
Nikki T. would be Chrissy Hynde of the Pretenders fame. Because both of them love black clothes
Nikki T is all about the rock n' roll, and and wearing black...
Lisa was would be lacey glove wearing Madonna…
and Yours truly would be the Technicolor Cyndi Lauper.
Okay I mostly calm down my clothing for work... but neon green is a neutral, I promise.
All of these things still in a way make sense.
I think this photo fills in the mind gap of this list.
There is something to say about the hilarious truths of High School girls. Boy, do I still love making lists though.
I decided to draw one of my favorite people as one of my favorite cartoons. Without drawing one of my friends as Spongebob, I give you Christine as Jem.
Who as you remember is truly outrageous:
If I made a cartoon like Daria, this would be one of her alter-egos.
I’ve really been enjoying looking into celebrities houses:
But of course not modern celebrities… enjoy all the retro appeal.
I could see Christine living in a house like Joan Crawford’s… except no wire hangers. I really like that her seating looks like a beautiful caterpillar, and the lamp in the background with an angel pedestal is so awesome. Christine please make your living room like this one day:
There is something magical and patriotic about Agatha Christie’s reading room. But I would never ever want it in any house, or anywhere for that matter.
Have you ever wanted to see the nastiest holy cavalcade? Well, here’s Sophia Loren’s bedroom:
If I could give this room as a present I’d give it to Jimmy.
To Carry on in the theme of gaudy Here’s Jayne Mansfield’s house:
This is her home office….. please don’t ever make me design this future clients:
And this is her fireplace (which is kinda cute):
And to add my favorites actress in here I give you Rita Hayworth and Orson Welles’ house. As you can see they have a boat in their backyard and well this happens:
Viciously Sweet 