Some people have relationships and all sorts of other ships.
I being a bit on the awkward side would like to take this time to announce that I don’t really do well in relationships… mostly because I have only have a makeshift raft of relations:
It stays afloat and everything… but it has no sides… it’s not really going to protect you from the water or sharks or anything. Actually it isn’t really helpful unless you need to be marooned on Gilligan’s Island… or you want to hang out with Tom Sawyer and Jim…
I think those last 2 sentences alone explain why I have a relation-raft.
Also the fact that today I am so excited to be able to stay at home by myself… explains a lot of it too. I mean I’ve just had something to do every night for the last 2 weeks… and tonight screams “Let’s wear sweatpants and watch romantic comedies while you illustrate.”
Any who happy Wednesday!
And how does everybody keep their relationships/rafts/buckets afloat?
Do you ever get asked a question so many times you came with a personal FAQ. I wish I did then I wouldn’t have to answer the same questions over and over.
Especially the annoying ones.
So: FAQ’s about Lauren
Are you really that short?
Yes, I am 5′-0″ and I still choose to wear flats. Also I have to cut off like 8″ of pants when I buy a new pair.
Come on… is that a weave?
Sadly, no. My hair is real, and all mine.
Is your personality for real?
Yes, it is. Sometimes I know I’m a little perky for my own good. Conversely, I am also a troublemaker. Mischief and Shenanigans are truly synonymous with my existence.
Does everyone know about that thing that happened to you at work?
Yes, I am that girl that really cruddy thing happened to. And now I like being walked to my car by not creepy people.
Do you just love “Family Guy”?
Sorry, I don’t watch Family Guy, I just don’t get the humor.
Are you really Jenna Rink?
I do like the movie “13 going on 30,” a little too much. And my new coworker sometimes thinks I live her life, but that is only on Tuesdays- Thursdays. But I do plan on being Flirty Thirty and Thriving in a few years.
Tell us about Enrique Iglesias!
Enrique Iglesias did squeeze my butt when I hugged him. He smelled good and is more handsome that pictures can show him. Also he has a firm grip.
Do you have a boyfriend?
I am single. If you would like to inquire more please see the attached doodle:
But life is never that simple. Actually, I never thought until right now how hard it must be to be Jennifer Aniston. Imagine all the questions she has to answer about how single she is, and how no one likes her… and how Enrique Iglesias never grabbed her butt. I bet her hair dresser is all over her singleness, and so are the waitresses at the restaurants she goes to, her cousins, that really prying Aunt… just can’t get enough about it.
But then again she has all sorts of money and got to kiss Paul Rudd for money… so her life is actually really fantastic.
And, I would trade the entire Enrique Iglesias thing for some Paul Rudd time.