What I did this weekend!

My sister got married this last Saturday and I have to tell you it was incredibly awesome. The weather cleared before her ceremony, the day went on without a hitch. We giggled in incredible amount. I caught one of those bouquets she threw.  So I guess that means I’m getting married. Someone should tell Jon Hamm as I choose him to marry in sound mind.

And of course, she looked amazing! And since she is not a fan of me posting pictures of her online (I am beginning to believe she is an international Jewel thief), I have decided to show this one of the back of her dress:

You can tell from the back of her dress how amazing she looked!

What I can share about what I have learned about weddings is that they are a lot of work, A LOT OF WORK! But when you love the couple it is more than incredibly worth it. I have never worked so much at a party ever, also I had a police escort to her room with the Dollar Dance moola. And I must give another thank you to Christine, who was a guest that didn’t mind to help me!

Thanks for helping me work my sister's wedding. And dancing to Pitbull with reckless abandon. Also for not getting lost with how many people at this wedding were named Christine...

I would like to share my rating of my sister’s wedding; 2 awesome thumbs up and 1 great winky face to my sister. I hope you are bonkers happy for all eternity!

Forever your girl,

Lauren

P.S. Word to my brother, it was an honor to see you dance to “Sexy & I know it” has changed my life. And in the future will totally traumatize both of your children. Rock on Tony!

Hi, I’m the weird girl!

I have been procrastinating on writing my speech for my sister’s wedding. As her maid of honor , and only person in her wedding party…Yes, that is right I am the party!

Back to my speech procrastinating… My dad has had his speech written for weeks. And as my mother lovingly threatened that she wants to hear this speech before I tell everyone at the reception that me and my sister like to watch Maury Povich’s “Baby Daddy” episodes, talk with  Jennifer Lopez accent when we want to make fun of each other, and enjoy wrapping our hair around our face to pretend to have a mustache… but then again who doesn’t do that stuff?

Last night I was stressing about the words I would say to wish my sister well. And then as I started to write them my mother told me this golden nugget:

“Remember not every one gets your humor.”

Also "EEP ORK RIBBY RIBBY"

I just would like to say that the time for weird girls is upon us. Actually, it’s also cool for the gents too… I mean Tina Fey, Gonzo the Muppet, Amy Poehler, Jimmy Fallon, Zooey Deschanel, Margaret Thatcher… The world is crazy for those goobers.

Also, thanks mom you always know what to say.

♫Lauren

Anatomy of a Nightmare

So about 2 weeks ago I had a dream that Christine got married.
And she didn’t invite me or Isabel. She forgot. Isabel received her invitation the day before the wedding… But mine was not to be found…
Instead we saw her nuptials on facebook… And what I saw was terrifying.
It looked like the 1980s and a classy George Washington painting had a baby with grimace of McDonalds fame during the festival mardi gras. It was wrong. It was really wrong… for reals.

And thanks to the magic of doodling and the bounty of photos on the internet… I can share my nightmare with you…
Her ceremony mildly looked like this, except it had more swaggy fabric:

and Christine bragged about her dress which looked like this:

Here is a handier diagram for those who are not in my brain:

She walked down the aisle to Angel dressed like George Washington…. Who actually looks cool dressed like the first president of our country, at an Elton John concert:

And maybe it was good we were not invited… because, all her bridemaids looked like grimace:

This dress flatters no one

It was at times fascinating and disgusting, and magical all in one.
But, please don’t ever be real. Also no more dreams with facebook
♫Lauren