I have not been posting lately and it’s because I don’t know what I should be posting. How can one little happy Lauren feel so feisty during this season. All I have wanted to do is just enjoy my family and a season where we cover everything in lights and sparkles.
But things keep happening:
-Like having to be around people who don’t like me… in a party setting.
-Being yelled at by a woman in the Disney story while picking up a present for my nieces. (I accidentally walked into the cashier line while I was looking at stuffed animals, she chastised me for my carelessness, and I thanked her for her holiday gratitude.) (Also, sorry Tony and Season… I already bought them more toys.)
-Having to witness grown people throwing fits about the “quality” of presents they are receiving. I don’t care if it’s not a designer… it is nice because someone thought of you when they found it… and not everyone can afford Cartier.
Thie following doodle was inspired by the mariachi my family has on Christmas eve at our family party. And I am dedicating a message to all you holiday kerfluffers:
It’s just so hard to like it, when it’s being a grinch!!!!
So even thought Santa is on vacation until next year…I’m just saying you should just be nice… or I’m going to shake a maraca in your face… And remember no one wants a maraca in their face before the new year!
A while ago when I was talking to a coworker friend who knew I was lacking in a bit of confidence. He told me he didn’t really know why I was because he thought I was sparkly inside and out. How does this have to do with Christmas? Well besides the fact I was was called a “Christmas tree”, it is because this Season is about having appreciation for family and friends.
And this year, I have learned that some people should be appreciated for being so kind to you, especially when you don’t feel you deserve it. At the time of this compliment, I really didn’t think I deserved niceties. But we all struggle with that. And that is what makes the happiness of this season so important.
Wow, this post isn’t very merry. This post is actually verging on the “It’s a wonderful Life” kind of introduction to Christmas… I think I was just trying to say that maybe we should celebrate how much we care for people all year long, because a season isn’t enough to show people how much we care about them.
And maybe we should pretend it’s Christmas more often… and not for presents or to age Jesus a little more. But maybe because this is the time of the year when people try to be the kindest and most grateful for what they have. We should carry it on for the rest of the year. We should tell people they sparkle. Because it makes them realize they can.
I hope that in the midst of all your Christmas and Holiday crazy this made you smile… just a little bit.
All musicians that make beautiful music with their family members. Notice who is not on that list, Christie & Lauren… And for all you jazzy readers out there, that would be me and my sister.
So we may not have the rivalry of Liam and Noel… nor do we have the stage presence of the Jackson 5. Actually we barely know how to play instruments. But that is not the point, it shouldn’t stop our musical dreams.
Christie and I have discussed the possibility of taking our love of WHAM! on the road. And calling ourselves “LADY WHAM! a Wham! Experience”… but we have one very important problem:
Wham! Bam!
Now if my brother wants to be the Andrew Ridgely… We can get this show on the road… but I have a feeling he may not want to… because he doesn’t want to revisit his time with “the mullet”:
But Tony could totally pull this off! Image Courtesy of: FANPOP!
Anyways, we will probably never resolve this issue… and time can never mend the careless whispers of a Wham! coverband.
Have a wonderful day everybody…. and yes, I would make the better George Michael.
Do you know anyone who is really awful and when they show up out of the blue you have that look on your face like you stepped in a steamy pile of poo?
Well I do and I have finally come up with the best/most current example of my feelings towards them:
If I were Taylor Swift I could make this into $14 million dollars… but I am not. And I probably will never date Jake Gyllenhaal either, that’s okay with me because his last name is hard to spell.
One more message to my zit:
Now that I have had my mean girl fun, I will bring the giggle girl to the situation. And well looking on the Miss Brightside of my problem… zits don’t last forever, and if you really need it there is always photoshop!
I finished my sketchbook 176 pages front and back. A whole year of doodles. An entire year of my existence chronicled in my jazzy doodling style.
I am going to be partying and enjoying the fact that I actually finished something… instead of giving up at 90%. I’m feeling good about this and maybe I can actually finish all my other projects….
Oh wait… I didn’t finish them because I was doodling:
Thank you little sketchbook. You were amazing. And I highly suggest to anyone out there who likes to doodle to keep a book. It becomes part diary, part planner, and 100% thrilling to look over. Like for example July was an awful month for me. But November was really rad.
And your book can tell you so much about what was happening in your life! It was there when I found out what Shepard’s pie is. When Enrique Iglesias grabbed my butt. That time I really wanted pancakes, and the time I decided to live in a blanket for as long as possible. That night when my life became a romantic comedy. It was there for the finale of Mad Men. It was there when I couldn’t stop laughing, it was there when all I could do was cry. It was also there apparently when I was studying for tests, passing notes to my friends, and when I had to draw a rooster in love. It was an amazing doodle year.
Actually this year has kind of been amazing. And it’s all in my book. I know this post was a little braggy. But It’s an accomplishment for me. New book ahoy! Also Yonadab is right my book is full of secrets but it is a doodle cryptix.
This time of year is a really fabulous time. You get to see the world be a little cheerier.
But it is also a time of plentiful get together’s, parties, meet and greets… and the ever exclusive couples parties (that I attend in my own special unicorn fashion). These parties make me excited to get to see my friends, and pray that they are wearing a Christmas sweater that is enough to make Bill Cosby enviable. I always do something at these events (like fall into a planter, forget everyone’s name) and this helps me remember that I am an awkward goof.
Now being a goof is really great at certain times…. I can lighten up a family shindig. I can can tell an entertaining tale, I can have my friends in stitches (of laughter, I’m not violent). But not every party is just friends, and some parties are mandatory and full of people who rather don’t like you.
This is when I want to climb into my bedazzled cocoon, because no matter what I do these people will talk down to me. The will say cruel and unnecessary comments about my style, lifestyle, weight, and anything that strikes them at the moment. This is the very thing I dread each year about the holiday season.
But this year is different. This year, I really don’t care.
I would be a heart shaped peg if I was a peg… this is an amazing truth!
And the reason I don’t care is that…. I like me. And if you feel the same way about the holiday season… remember there is only ONE you for a reason (unless you are a multiple) and you being around is an awesome thing. So what if the people you have to spend time with don’t think you are that fantastic… somewhere out there other people do. I know I sound like a Hallmark Card, but if you are reading this you are an AWESOME person. Simply, because you are. So go around this holiday season being yourself around not so nice coworkers, or weird uncles, or mean mothers in line to buy toys for their children. So what if they don’t like you… Just like being yourself! I’m so awkward!
Be wonderful to everyone, especially if they don’t deserve it.
Now some of you may know I’m kind of a girly girl. Like, a serious matching-jewelry-to-my-sweater-to-my-soul, kind of girl. Like, I skip on clouds made of cotton candy kind of girl. And this by the way is all true, my soul is bright orange and covered in flowers, and my the bottoms of my shoes are sticky.
However, even for a girly girl I have to have time out to just chill. And this is where I bring out on display my two polar opposite senses of style. Let me describe them a little for you.
1. My “I’m so fancy, and sparkly” look. This transcends all of my usual outfits that make me look like a sailor from a 1960s musical or Jenna Rink from “13 going on 30”. When I get fancy… it is ornate. There are fake eyelashes, diamond flaked mascara. There is serious fancy time hair. There are borrowed jewels. Basically you take me out for a fancy night… I’m going to show up looking like we’re going to the Academy Awards. (This is also probably why no one takes me to nice places, but why I’m tops on the bring a date list to company parties. Just in case you are wondering, I can clean up well, and I like appetizers.)
2. My “Liz Lemon having it all” outfits. This is when I’m comfortable, and it usually very shortly follows my “fancy” look. This is when I have no more patience for trying to look nice. This is that moment when your makeup is begging to be washed off. This coincides with the moment I can’t imagine living without my pajama pants and a tank top. There is also sometimes a sweat shirt involved. And since I only own 1 sweatshirt there is a 100% chance that it is a “Montana Grizzlies” sweatshirt. And when I’m dressed like that my only accessories are my glasses, a blanket, and a remote control. Because when we have reached the point of “Liz Lemoning” I’m down for comfy times, and comfy times involve me eating cheesy snacks and being wrapped in a blanket as Vanellope Von Schweetz says in “Wreck-it Ralph”, “I wrap myself up like a little old homeless lady”.
Now I am sharing this story because The weekend of my birthday I went out with my BFF Christine. And I was fancy. I had decked my own halls, I was like a Christmas Tree prepared for a lighting ceremony. (It was my birthday, after all.) And then… then, I got back to her apartment and shed all my fanciness to reveal my plain old self. Now don’t get me wrong even plain Lauren is still sparkly… because I sparkle from the inside… I just well…
———————- 2 minute time break————————–
And the rest of the time I look like Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island. And to those who think my styles are weird, I’m comfortable with every style I have, because it’s all in fun. True story.
It’s finally here. The day we’ve all been waiting for.
Fangsgiving.
So make sure you cook your undead turkey, hang your spiderwebs, bake your store bought apple pie and just sit back and relax. The day is here for you and your spooky-scary friends and family. Make the most of it, and don’t go out in the sun. I think you may melt or sparkle:
Just remember to fang it up!
In all honesty, have a wonderful weekend. Eat. Buy things. And be wonderful.
Hi Internet. This is a new type of post for me. It’s a pro/con subject matter. And this one is about cornucopia’s. If you find yourself questioning the existence of the horn of plenty… this is the article Phil Collins would say you’ve been waiting for all your life.
Pro Cornucopia: Amber’s side of the cornucopia debate
I’m indifferent. They just hold fruit and stuff… I don’t see the big deal.
I don’t love them or hate them.
Indifferently yours,
Amber
Con Cornucopia: Lauren’s Cornucopia Conundrum
It’s Lauren. And I have something to tell you. I don’t like cornucopia’s. The back story of this is that when I was a kid I loved to check the brand new calendar to see what day of the week my birthday was. Like every other cool kid out there I prayed it never landed on a Wednesday… because it would be too far to wait for a weekend! But the calendar always had alternative plans for me…
Unlike my sister who was born in July and usually had beautiful pictures of fireworks. And my parents born in June had beaches, summer in full swing. And both Christine and Isabel born in March who would have fields of gorgeous flowers for their calendar month. And the children of December who had these fantastic winter scenes, Christmas, promises for the New Year… and of course October and September riddled with the most gorgeous changing leaf colors you have ever seen. And then there was November… and the Cornucopia.
It was on a table, near a turkey, with a pilgrim, with an Indian. It was featured by itself, it was outside marring the beautiful scenery. But it was always there. And even on the calendars without a picture it would sneak its little wicker basket self in there.
Horns of sadness is more like it
And when I grew up I started to resent it, not just because of the beauty of the other months. But because the cornucopia was always so forced. I never remember us having one for any other day. I don’t remember getting a cornucopia to celebrate the crisp days of autumn, from a horn of plenty lot. Actually it was just wicker with plastic fruit on my grandma’s kitchen table. And it was only out for Thanksgiving. Now here is the moment we can all admit it’s not as charming as a Christmas tree, it’s not as fun as an Easter basket stuffed with candy, and it definitely could not hold a candle to a pink foiled doily valentine, heck it can’t even compete with Flag Day. It’s just a wicker horn with vegetables in it. And since I never have had to live a cold winter clutching my wicker horn to get me through the long nights, I just can’t get into it.
I also want to take this time to share from first to sixth grade I had to color the same cornucopia color page… every year. It may have even been this picture:
linked from family color pages. Featuring Families that color horns of seasonal fruits and vegetables
And one more thing about cornucopia’s. They are not even very convenient. I mean I don’t carry around horns of water. Or horns of markers. When I go to the market I don’t say “Horn” when they ask “Paper or plastic”. There are so many better ways to hold things. Bags, boxes, those little packs on the sides of mules. I just don’t get their horn-shaped allure.
And although this week I will get to see my family and eat wonderful food with them. And I will have a fantastic time… there is just a little hesitation knowing that a horned foe may show up. I just hope that we have plenty too cumbersome to fit in that wicker horn… if you know what I mean.
I’m so awkward!
Viciously Sweet 