Spiders in your cubicle and much more

So how dumb should I feel that I have worked full-time in this office for almost 3 years and still cannot transfer the phone correctly?
Yeah… I’m not feeling super bright today.
Also the phone situation, completely embarrassing.

On to today’s doodle and then we will talk about why I am glad I am me.

Today I have seen like 3 spiders making settlements in the office. It’s not like we don’t dust (every once in a while.) But seriously why are the spiders around here playing roller coaster tycoon in the office???:

Woomp there’s another one.

Okay and now on to my Liz Lemon moment. I would like to thank that guy from the mall and the lady from Subway who told me I looked like Wonder Woman. You unlike the weirdo who followed me to my car, made me feel like I can be Marcia for once instead of Jan.
I am really tired of girls who only try to get by on their looks… I mean seriously they are going to fade, you should try to be just a little smart. Even if it’s only like 2 subjects. Like for example: Latvian folk music, and Jack Nicholson movies.
More people will be interested in you… I PROMISE.
And looks are like in the eye of the beholder and some junk.. because I know some cute guys with some ugly girlfriends and vice versa.

My friends are kind of wonderful in the fact that they are both smart and beautiful. They have gone to school, received great educations, (know where Libya is), and they don’t throw themselves all over and under men who have no interest in them. Thank you for keeping it classy girls.
Did you know, Christine thinks I’m pretty :)
And I think she’s super delicious, in a totally happening way!
And don’t worry I don’t rely on my looks (just in case you think I have it all happening in a good way)… I rely on my ability to do spot on impersonations of B-List Celebrities.

♫Lauren

Please Please Let Me Get What I want…

I’m being more than a little emo by quoting the Smiths…. but….
Today I realized that getting what I want may be the worst thing.
Like ruining others future plans… and zombies or something.
Doesn’t that suck?
However it could be really great… or like the best thing.
It could mean newer betterer plans, and unicorns… or something.
That could be awesome.

I’m still thinking about it…
If you would like to join me and my sulking, have a listen yourself.


♫Lauren

Let me consult my…

A long unspoken dream of mine has always been to have a brilliant scientist friend.
So I can say, “Let me consult my brilliant scientist friend.”
However, the only question that I am usually asked is “Do you want this as a combo?”
But, the fact that I will have science as a friend… will thrill me.
My science friend is one who can explain why Spiderman and the Hulk can’t be real. (Because radioactivity doesn’t work like that… LAME) Also she has an incredible fear of sticky mats. And children coated in cotton candy…
Well now at last my dream is a reality. Isabel is going to be like the coolest thing in science since… atoms and such*

Congratulations on being like the next Bill Nye, Isabel!!!!

♫Lauren

*I don’t know much about science

Wizards are practically leprechauns

Okay so there is not theme post today.. because eh. I’m just not feeling it today.
I wish I were free and about town, doing cool things that cool people do.
Maybe this little pope wizard can help me out:

I know it has a lot to do with the fact I have no idea what a wizard hat looks like... I'm not Charlie Sheen here....

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

♫Lauren

Happy PI day!

Today you should get your
3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078
164062862089986280348253421170679821480865132823066470938446095505
8223172535940812848111745028410270193852110555964462294895493038
196…. on!

Just start reciting it, everyone will super enjoy it.

PI PI PI PI!!!

π Lauren

Lauren’s Personal Thoughts w/ Lauren

Okay I know that there is some sort of respect and well wishing that must be sent to the people experiencing incredible devastation 5,000 miles from here.
And of course I send them well wishes, prayers, and safety!

But now to my more localized thoughts. Yes I have real thoughts! And here they are!

* I am happy that I did not give up Tina Fey related media for Lent, because Christine and I are going to see her (AND STEVE MARTIN) in LA next month. I could pass out for the joy that some of my dreams are actually ALIVE!

Seriously, and they aren't even musicians!

* I have mixed feelings about violence towards the Dab… who would have had to remove the heel of my shoe from his face if I had missed a night with Tina Fey and Steve Martin. And because I feel like I still may hit him, just because.

In his rostro y mas.

* I am really excited to see Isabel this weekend because witnessing her in real life is so much better than textually online.

*I can’t believe I made it through this week without cursing at people during work. (They totally deserve it) Not Amber though :) Also you should never make a girl mad who can photoshop with reckless abandon!

WINNING!

I am really sad that I never posted folkerico… which is Eric photoshopped on a woman folklorico dancer… if you couldn’t figure it out, shame on me for being nice.

*Also I would like everyone to know that you can say whatever you like about me, and you don’t have to like me or anything of the sort. But personally, I think I’m pretty rad (and I think you know it too):

Have a nice weekend and be safe and delicious!
LAUREN OUT!