work

The Love Triangle

| Viciously Sweet

I am a clumsy person. Just ask anyone who has ever met me in real life. I fall while walking,  drop everything on myself (today a bucket of rubber bands)… and once almost poked out my eye with an x-acto blade because I had an itch in my hair and forgot I was holding it the sharpest of all blades.

Today I was quite happy to wear this really cute retro style polka dot dress (polka dots are my thing!) And in my I’m a hot mess lifestyle, I actually thought I was looking rather dorky chic. I went to the bathroom adjusted the top, and then it happened I realized that my full circle dress, perfect for spinning around in was actually stuck in my underpants. IN THE UNDERPANTS!

This has never happened before, and what can only make it better is that my coworker caught me correcting the problem. I felt like saying “Happy Monday everyone, my underpants are pink hearts today!” But instead I turned red, and sat as low in my seat as possible.

 

 

I caught my dress being stuck the next 2 times it happened in the remaining 4 hours of the day…. before I showed my coworkers my underpants.  Tomorrow I wear pants with pants on top of that.

♫Lauren

Sprinkler dreams and Prank Nightmares

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Today at lady lunch (a lunch consisting of just Amber and me) I was talking to the waitress. And let’s just be honest, she’s our favorite in the history of ladies who bring us food. So I was telling her it’s been such a long work week. She told me “It’s only Tuesday.” And I responded “still being haunted from last week.”

And boy am I.

I pulled a little tiny harmless baby prank last week, and it did not go over well. I have a certain coworker who is now mad at me because he may have been made the background of our office laptop with a slogan about his *ahem* professionalism, and it may have even been this picture (which makes a stunning background, btw)… and fancy people may have seen it, even though he was supposed to be using it to measure a building… and not showing the computer about to people. *throat clearing sound* I mean was that really that bad? I would have joked the embarrassment away personally… *mmm hmmm*

Well, there isn’t a super lot I can do about that right now… but I can segue into a better subject with the help of my good friend the ellipsis…

…The weather is changing like crazy here, which is also something I have no control over. In California the fall can be incredibly hot, and then incredibly cold. Today is a mildly warm day and because I have been cramped in a cubicle for so long… I have a dream to get home, turn on the sprinklers… and then run like hell through those sprinklers:

And while I dash through that sprinkler I will listen to this song, and not melt the night away:

♫Lauren (the lady version of Jim Halpert)

Turning Back time on technology!

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There is no doodle today because I have been working like a mouse making a Cinderella’s dress!

I am still at work and my brain hurts a bit. I have to take PDF’s and make them into a power point. When I asked if I could just make a multiple page PDF. I was told the person did not comprehend it…

So I’m being the Cher of technology and turning back time on it’s butt. Hey there power point!

Next Goal take away all the Xbox 360s with Call of Duty and replace them with DOS computers with the Oregon Trail!

UPDATE: Everyone in my Target audience was amazed with my hysterical story!

My audience of 1.

♫Lauren

The Fantasy Typewriter!

| Viciously Sweet

I’m still a little quiet today, but I feel more in a giggly place.

I am thinking of attributing it to the following:

♥ I am wearing my favorite skirt… a leopard pencil skirt to be exact

♥ I ate some delicious chicken for lunch

♥ I have been drawing wedding sheep, I was asked to make a few drawings for an upcoming wedding! It makes me feel like I’m coming up in the world with my drawings

♥ I saw “Bachelorette” the movie with Amber last night… and I loved it. I loved it so much that I want to do the robot while listening to the Proclaimers…. all. day. long.

♥ Cakes McCain of Pasta for One, sent me a bleak/cheery? song today that reminded me that my future is bright so bright I have to wear shades… so I strapped on a pair:

This is actually a lie, because this photo was not from today… and I cropped people out of it :) But I’m wearing shades for my bright future!

But today several of my jollies came from the fact my co-worker… the Exceptional Dab keeps mentioning that my typing sounds like I’m killing my computer. Or as he calls it “an angry typer”. Sadly, when I listened to myself type I had to agree with him… But I don’t always type this way because I’m sending people angry emails sometimes I just get so excited about words!. So this brought me to a doodle-y conclusion:

For the rest of the day I’m going to talk like Rosalind Russell from “His girl Friday”… I’m a hundred miles a minute, and witty to boot.

Soooo ya see, I’m gonna break this computer. And when I do, I’ll call that knucklehead professional IT guy to make all it’s problems go away. (And I said that it 2 seconds.)

♫Lauren

Floating On My Cloud…

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I’m blaming the weather for my strange condition. I am in a fünke funky mood. Today was much nicer at work, maybe because I caught up on a lot of things… maybe because I pulled a prank on Eric he hasn’t found out yet. I had a lovely lunch that was mostly bacon. But still I find myself as lethargic as humanly possible. On that note I bring to you my doodle brain child of the day:

I’m going to float for the rest of the week…

♫Lauren

My So Called (Unicorn) Life

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Earlier this year I adopted a life motto I couldn’t have said better myself:

“No one looks stupid when they are having fun.”-Amy Poehler.

And since then I have really embraced it, I accept all offers if they sound like fun. Sometimes even if they don’t… and I know I can make them fun. And since then I have realized a few things.. the most important is, I live a fabulous and rare existence.

I really do.

I love to dance all over my house to Aretha Franklin songs. Drive to work singing along with Pitbull, drive home singing the songs of Phil Collins. And I draw for hours, sometimes I get paid for it… And then I also doodle in addition to that, just for fun. I can and do decided to go on super fabulous adventures on the drop of a hat… but not to Sea World on a Saturday (you can’t win them all.) I have a closet full of fabulous threads. Tons of lip-glosses and nail polishes… scads of jewelry and shoes. I also just got a pair of sparkly tights in the mail… I really do live a charmed life. And best of all is I have some fabulous friends who let me exist in my sparkly universe, and stop on by on occasion to watch it in real time. And my friends are all so different and deliciously brilliant, I get the thrill to appreciate each wonderful thing about them!

Now about a month ago if anyone had mentioned the fact that I live a rare magical existence I would have burst into tears, because I desperately wanted to be grounded like everyone else I know*.  But lately I realized through a few fantastic people… that I make their days a little brighter. And that really changed everything. I thank you friends for making me feel like the most magical unicorn that has ever existed. I may care more about concerts and charities than business and finances and I don’t know stock options and refinancing… or whatever serious people are into… but I do know that sometimes there is nothing better than watching a Disney cartoon and eating pizza after a hard day.

The world doesn’t have to be such a serious place, it can be full of the joy we make. And I think that is a choice that we make… I choose the fun, even if I look stupid.

 

Thank you friends for letting me be your unicorn.

♫Lauren

Confessions Pt. II now with Giggles

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I am a very bubbly happy person. You know the sort, the eternal optimist that thinks everyone and everything is just fantastic…

Basically everyday I wake up and float to work on a cloud. And then I chit chat a bit at the office, and carry on with my giggly day. Drawing, laughing, keeping secret wishes of joy that I keep to myself.

And then things happen. People all my life have called me “trouble,” and I have never willingly gone out to look for it. I don’t walk around dressed like a “Thunderbird,” I don’t ask the warriors to come out to play, and I rarely Ferris Bueller style my days. However it still lingers, I guess I attract weird things/events/people. And this is not limited to jovial Rastafarian’s telling me to carry on with my bad self in the streets, children thinking I am a Disney princess, or even Enrique Iglesias getting a little too up close and personal with yours truly (up coming post, seriously.)

Well anyways, today one of those kinds of things happened and I hope I don’t get my very good friend in trouble because of my girly ways. And honestly it was all just an innocent event, we just went out to lunch… but we didn’t expect to run into people he knows. Our lunch was a lunch of friendship… but it felt so embarrassing. You know… the grown up shame of being friends with a person of the opposite gender. Now this is not especially bad until you involve me, the giggliest person ever, who was wearing a rather comfy but a little snug tank top and breezy summer skirt… with my hair actually done and my makeup as nice as I could do. In the world of 13 going on 30 I really knocked it out of the ballpark today! However, in the world of eating with a guy friend at lunch… I made a HUGE mistake. We have both never eaten lunch so quickly and while simultaneously the color of a raspberry.

And then I realized it all these strange events in my life happen because of me! And all my friends and I have events that we don’t want to share with other people. I feel like there is something wrong with that… does everyone have secrets like this? Do I just make average events so much worse with my awkwardness? Does anyone want to sing an Usher song about this with me?

Here’s to a less eventful evening…
♫Lauren

Wool Gets In Your Eyes

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I have been growing up a little more lately. I still want to be a goof, but I realized to “get along” with a broader spectrum of people I have to pretend to be a “professional”.

I know, I know that is a total blurgh in the face. Especially when your initial thought of a great day is show up to work and tell your coworkers that it is time to Wang Chung tonight, and hand everyone a bag of chiclets! And when you know in reality, they just want you to greet them with a “Hello. Business is splendid.”

I think that because of recent events in my life, I have been seeing the world more clearly now… work is not supposed to be a place where you have fun, because most people aren’t satisfied with what they do, they just do it because that is what they think they should be doing. (I like what I do though, it’s beyond rad to draw for a living!) And this has further led me down a path of understanding what I am expected to do in certain situations, and understanding what I want to do. And guess what? In true Lauren fashion, they are very different things.

And lately to get through the days at work I have turned to television to help a girl out. And what is a better learning example about working in an office, than “The Office”? I’ve been taking advice from sassy Pam Beesly of season 3. I want to be more honest and gutsy, I want to have an art show, I want to tell Jim that he should be my friend. And I want to stress like Pam did, Jim isn’t the important part of being a shiny new Beesly… being happy with yourself is the answer for that. You can hear her say this in the link below:

Pam’s Awesome Beach Speechs.

Here’s an important part of her speech for you non link clickers:

Anyways, I’m done with the woolly eyes. I want to see the truth, and I want people to respect that. I want people to know that I like me, and I can do anything, and not because I have to… Because I want to. And maybe sometimes I will be too helpful and emotional… but that is how I am, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with that!

♫Lauren

Also I really love to draw little doodle sheep.

Work Confessions: The Hive

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Today’s post is short and sweet (just like me!)

I go to the bathroom a lot at work. Sometimes it’s because I drink too much water, other times it’s to calm myself from being stressed, sometimes it’s because I have to cry in a private situation… and sometimes:

I can’t be the only person in their mid-twenties thinking about beehives during work hours. Think about how big you could make it… maybe it could hold office supplies… or a switchblade like that girl from La Bamba.

I was briefly worried this doodle would make me sound weird, but we all need a little work relief sometimes… and I know someone who has eaten lunch in the bathroom to escape their office.

♫Lauren