My hair is the worst week: Gilda Radner

Although my hair like most girls is a constant struggle.

There is always a bright side of a bad hair day:

She has to be one of the best things ever… and she has the biggest hair.

I know I’m a little young to be a fan of Gilda but here is a reason you should be one too:



Things I’ve learned from pin-up girls

I have always found the ladies of yesteryear amazing. Be they someone’s awesome grandma, a movie star, a was hero, a writer, or a pin up girl. My favorite things to read about them are always when they reflect on their life and their careers. They always seem to have it figured out, because they have been through it all, and lived it up. And also that is when people say crazy things like “Alfred Hitchcock stalked me.”~ Paraphrased Tippi Hedren. I suppose it’s because they realize the best things to be are honest… because it’s what happened after all. And why should they be afraid to be truthful? Also seriously Tippi Hedren… I’m sorry about Hitchcock… he was all sorts of creepy.

I get carried up in that story about Tippi sometimes, because most girls have been in that situation. Even in modern times. A superior who is all hands… Gross.

Now another one of those ladies who figured it out and lived it up was Bettie Page. Now I have always understood her to a certain degree. She not only has totally rad bangs like me (I’m going to say I never copied her bang style. I have actually had bangs since I have had hair.) She was really mischievous… and I have been called that a few times (a week.) And people are super crazy about her, (sometimes in an unsettling way) without ever taking the time to understand her as a person, not a visual object.

But don’t worry I won’t get too much into that. I’m here to celebrate the good. One thing I have always like about her is she always seemed to be having fun, and making the most out of anywhere she was.

Pretending to be attacked by a tree… happy.

Sitting with leopards.. happy.

In weird plastic-y outfits… happy.

Being straight up naked… happy

Wouldn’t it be great to be that happy all the time? I think so.

Well one of my favorite quotes from her is super important for both boys, girls, and people who like to be happy near trees (in or out of clothes):

Thank you for being you Bettie.

I have always liked that quote, it’s simple and true. Be yourself and never apologize for it. You will thank yourself for it someday.

Also.. bangs are fantastic, they may be why both Bettie and I are so happy… it’s just a theory.


Isabel Stare-a-thon 2012: Enhanced Magnification

So I have been a little lax with the stare-a-thon posts. It’s because I got lost in the gaze I was holding Isabel in. I actually realized that I hadn’t even blinked in 12 days.

Apparently I’m not the only one who just can’t stop staring. Not only has Christine and the entire state of Nebraska got all caught up in the stare-a-thon holiday season…

According to the latest posts on TMZ, this old-timey Sherlock Holmes has a stare-a-thon addiction. He can’t even stop an solve a case. He hasn’t solved 1 whole case in the last month… Sherlock Holmes is sadly locked in the staring hold. But he did pose for this brief photo for the stare-a-thon.

So keep staring everyone… But don’t stare so long that you get stuck that way.


Isabel Stare-A-Thon 2012: Jamie Foxx Remix

I have not been posting regularly. Due to my ability to spread myself so thin, and my ability to ruin almost everything.

But today, today there is 2 posts.

And like a blessing from the god’s of staring, the second post is about Isabel. You know the girl who has a month long event dedicated to staring at her face?

Well, every year I like to find a song to be the anthem of the stare-a-thon. And then in a moment when I was pondering how to squeeze 3 days of work into 1 I found the perfect song for this years stare-a-thon. It is a remix by the Academy Award winning Jamie Foxx:

The song has gone 6 times platinum today in my brain. So the next time you are really busy… and can’t quality time to calm your nerves or gaze undisturbed at Isabel… just remember blame it on the stare-sta-sta-stareathon.

Happy Staring everybody!


Dear Gerard Butler

I am a very girly girl. I like girly romantic comedies, and I also like to watch movies where butts are being kicked all over the place (and possibly in your face, thanks 3D.)
I will admit, these are two very different kinds of films. Sometimes actors mingle at the border of these two genres and boggle my mind.
Sometimes it works out well… and then sometimes, there is Gerard Butler…

Against all of my brain logic I decided to watch “The Ugly Truth” (even though I don’t really like Katherine Heigl) and yes … I wanted to stab my brain until the only thing I could remember was where I live and how much I like 30 Rock. I secretly kept watching hoping that it will get better, and would change my perspective on Katherine Heigl. It didn’t.
Then I started hoping it would turn a little more 300 and Mr. Butler would cut of Katherine Heigl’s head and set the rest of her on fire. But yet again this wish was not granted, and then I wished I had watched nothing at all. Not anything.

As a person who likes Gerard Butler kicking butts and toting weapons, and not being in the Phantom of the Opera, I implore you to read my doodle:

I mean seriously, Josh Duhamel needs some work too.

Christine’s Fabulous Birthday Time Jamboree

Wow, this makes important post of the day 2 of 2. The Birthday celebration for the Crispy one is always a momentous event, she is most certainly the non-twin of Isabel and is also celebrating her 26th Birthday!
To honor her bountiful Christine-ness I give you this list of 26 awesome Christine facts:

1. She brought to the world Yolkon Eisenhower Ralph Stevens III Esq. Mountie Phd. She also subsequently took him from the world in a mysterious accident, where he was never heard from again.
2. She likes her movie buddies short, and to be fans of milk duds… Yay Me!
3. 9 out of 10 Trannies prefer her to other Christine’s (They ain’t got nothing on this Christie)
4. She owns a shiny silver beret, that she uses for her illustrious pantomiming career.
5. She works at the finest dip and smoothie making establishment… IN THE WORLD. No lie, if you try their dip you may die from joy.
6. Since I have known her, her hair has been every shade under the sun… including orange.
7. She is the whitest creature in existence.
8. She has over 32 aliases. Including Wanton Wonton, and Ezekiel Plath.
9. She once owned a navy blue bug, that she named Liotus Sassafrass.
10. Her truest celebrity loves are both foreign born, Colin Farrell and Dave Foley.
11. She owns “Center Stage” on DVD… and watches it every other day while eating cheetos.
12. She did not Holla back when “Homie Cesar” said “hello.”
13. When she grows up she wants to be Pitbull… the rapper, not the puppy.
14. She will never turn down the opportunity to re-read “The Scarlet Letter”
15. She has seen every Spongebob Squarepants cartoon, ever made.
16. Her favorite food group is Loaf, she prefers her loaf to be filled with steaming clam chowder.
17. Sometimes she wonders where MC F! is… due to the fact they could be neighbors…
18. She is the best finder of people on the interwebs… If you know a person…or even a vague description of said person… Christine can find them.
19. She has never and will never be a professional Afro-Caribbean vernacular dancer. No matter how many times she watches the “Lion King”
20. She is like the Jenna to my Liz Lemon… And not just because she got her eyeballs whitened yesterday…
21. Christine has an undeniable addiction to Target. She also likes them to recite her purchases aloud.
22. This year Christine has sprinted with a shopping cart to the WEST COAST. Which all the homies know is the best coast.
23. She makes artisan bread in her spare time shaped like nautical animals.
24. She has a sewing machine… but has never made me a sock puppet (I’m just saying.)
25. She unlike Isabel does watch 30 Rock (This makes Christine like beyond awesome, which is better than her regular standard awesome)
26. Right now she is probably thinking to herself… maybe I should not have sat in the seat next to the weird girl in Spanish 102… (But really, was anybody interesting in that class besides me?)
Que eres la peces de mi corazón.
Happy Birthday Christine:


The Most Hammsome Analogy

My least favorite part of the SAT’s were by far the analogies, I always thought they were incredibly unuseful. As I do not commonly write or say things like;
raisins:goats ::
mayonaise: gorillas

But since I am commonly teased about my love for certain celebrities I have finally found an analogy that is correct.

Eric : Lea Michele::
Lauren : Jon Hamm

This is 100% true.

But truthfully, I still hate analogies....