Do you ever get asked a question so many times you came with a personal FAQ. I wish I did then I wouldn’t have to answer the same questions over and over.
Especially the annoying ones.
So: FAQ’s about Lauren
Are you really that short?
Yes, I am 5′-0″ and I still choose to wear flats. Also I have to cut off like 8″ of pants when I buy a new pair.
Come on… is that a weave?
Sadly, no. My hair is real, and all mine.
Is your personality for real?
Yes, it is. Sometimes I know I’m a little perky for my own good. Conversely, I am also a troublemaker. Mischief and Shenanigans are truly synonymous with my existence.
Let’s be sneaky sneaks!
Does everyone know about that thing that happened to you at work?
Yes, I am that girl that really cruddy thing happened to. And now I like being walked to my car by not creepy people.
Do you just love “Family Guy”?
Sorry, I don’t watch Family Guy, I just don’t get the humor.
Are you really Jenna Rink?
I do like the movie “13 going on 30,” a little too much. And my new coworker sometimes thinks I live her life, but that is only on Tuesdays- Thursdays. But I do plan on being Flirty Thirty and Thriving in a few years.
Pretty much me all day…
Tell us about Enrique Iglesias!
Enrique Iglesias did squeeze my butt when I hugged him. He smelled good and is more handsome that pictures can show him. Also he has a firm grip.
I can touch your butt, and you won’t even complain. But don’t let creepy dudes do it…. okay,
Do you have a boyfriend?
I am single. If you would like to inquire more please see the attached doodle:
And then maybe they will just sulk away and leave me alone in my alone-ness.
But life is never that simple. Actually, I never thought until right now how hard it must be to be Jennifer Aniston. Imagine all the questions she has to answer about how single she is, and how no one likes her… and how Enrique Iglesias never grabbed her butt. I bet her hair dresser is all over her singleness, and so are the waitresses at the restaurants she goes to, her cousins, that really prying Aunt… just can’t get enough about it.
But then again she has all sorts of money and got to kiss Paul Rudd for money… so her life is actually really fantastic.
And, I would trade the entire Enrique Iglesias thing for some Paul Rudd time.
Yeppers… me just all over this. Our hair is just so wavy the possibilites are getting better.
Even when I know I messed up my eye makeup when I’m doing it.
I just can’t help myself:
They are just going to roll away and leave me one of these days, and I’m going to be all eye-less and I”m going to have to put buttons there like that “Coraline” story.
Sadly, one of my coworkers knows that when they talk, I roll my eyes at them. In my I can’t help myself defense…this is because I know everything they say is the worst.
BUT ROLLING EYE BONUS: It stops them from saying my eyes are so “mysterious” and “alluring”. Seriously. Pervy.
ALSO NOTED: Writing about my absurdly quiet office is becoming a bummer. They need to get it together.
Basically, it’s like the only private moment I get in my day…
I know that it is really childish to hide in your hair to avoid things.. but sometimes you just can’t help yourself. Also my hair smells like coconuts so it’s like a little tropical vacation.
On a “I may be crazy” side note: My sister says when I get to the point where I want to hide in my hair, I should really take some time off of work or whatever I am doing… but sadly, I cannot… So I’m going to book a conference for one in Hair Room, ahoy!
I work in a very special place. I have discussed it many times. There are many awkward mishaps, tears, laughter, and so many broken refrigerators you may think I work in a refrigerator repair shop.
And even though I’m like 10 feet from a broken fridge as I type, I am still pretty sure I am not working in the fabulous world of refrigerator repair.
Yep, that fridge is broken. Welcome to room temperature water for 2.5 months (so far).
Not everything is something to complain about… Our water is deliciously free, and I do have my own stapler. But then sometimes, like at lunch everything is going fine and then all of a sudden everything stops being okay. I sit there and take in all the people I work with ripping on each other. Sometimes I interject, and try to shut it down:
Shut this convo down… for sure!
But a lot of the time I just look to the side and pray that a camera crew is watching us, because there is no way things like should really happen like this in real life.
Wow did I have to learn that about your wife/ girlfriend who irrationally doesn’t like me already? And now I can think about that first the next time I have to see them, after months of successfully avoiding them? I didn’t think presents could get better.
And then there is the general non-acceptance that happens between different people with “different” personalities:
-You have a dream, you may not want to share that sucker… Because there is someone there to generally crush it, while eating a plate of rice and sausages.
-You want to keep anything a secret? Well you might as well just keep that to yourself… otherwise you might as well print it out and hand it to everyone in memo form.
– You just want to say something nasty about someone you spend most of your waking hours with? Why don’t you just do it so everyone can pretend it didn’t happen… or pray that it didn’t…
-Care to talk about highly specific beliefs or political views? Why don’t you just share them with everyone?
– How about harass people? Why don’t’ you just go for it? Why don’t you make them really uncomfortable? How about you do that until they start to cry?
Just keep on keeping on… I’ll be there praying that all of this isn’t really happening:
Okay so I’m going to keep this post very brief because this is a dangerous subject. The subject is negativity. And I don’t want to think/type about it longer than I have to. Because it will cause sad rain clouds to form over me, and I will be washed away into the sea of sadness.
But personally, I really do have a negative cloud in my life. I try to ignore it, and hide it and push it away… And since it is a person that I have contact with quite often… it’s hard to make sure that their negativity keeps out of my silver lining.
Actually, I even got a stapler the color of sunshine to combat the grey cloud of murky that this person is to me.
Where I can do nothing about this problem in real life.. except for becoming a nomadic outcast like the Incredible Hulk… at least doodle Lauren can do something about it:
It’s the most delicious fort material I could find
Keep all the murky dismal away from you this week with starbursts! I hear that it totally works
One of my favorite songs in all of life is “Sittin’ By the Dock of the Bay” by Otis Redding.
I say this because although it’s not a catchy dance song, or crafted with recorders and office supplies, it still brings a smile to my face. I used to sing it like crazy when I was a child because… Well, I was really weird. I have since grown up and I’ve done the regular things people do, I grew my hair out longer than that standard bob all little girls had, I have tried to watch Twilight, I have eaten a load of pizza…
But I don’t spend my time on the dock of the bay anymore “wasting time”…
I don’t fit into my office. This is not a new secret. Like, I don’t fit in so bad that it’s nearly comical. It’s almost like I’m a mystical being stuck in a land of protocol and unyeilding emails. Actually that is almost exactly what it’s like, it’s hard to be a Lauren in a 9-5 kind of world.
And the best part of all of it… is that my boss hasn’t the slightest idea. And the worst part is… I think he’s such a nice boss, that I kind of never want him to know how hard it is to work with some of the other people in our tiny office space.
I’ve been tinking about it a lot lately. Have you ever thought that maybe Tinkerbell was really just tired of being treated poorly by the lost boys? And maybe she was tired of always being put in cages and treated like a weird sparkly decoration? I do. She was totally over it because she know she can do more than that.
Now several times last year I thought of quitting my job, without any back up plan. And not for reasons people usually do… No one ever has a great boss, and bad coworkers. No one has ever said that! And no one ever says when they are in a bad work environment that they love the work they create. Which… I do. I like the clients I deal with. I love the idea of something I draw being built and occupied by people who are learning, and working and changing the world with their existences and thoughts and dreams. Right now at this moment, that is what architecture means to me.
Things I don’t like about work is being harassed by coworkers, being asked to quit to make certain people feel better about themselves (several times, actually) and feeling totally unappreciated for all the actual effort I put into creating a product that we are proud to put our names on.
I have actually tried to think through these issues a lot in the last few days. How can you get past these kinds of work problems?
The first one… well I’ve tried a few things. Including ignoring, trying to talk it through, and finally giving up. And then I stumbled upon these little words from every cool chick’s homegirl, Tina Fey:
“So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.” -Tina Fey, Bossypants
I have taken these words to heart, and my days have felt so much lighter and brighter than they used to. I can do my work really well, and I will be in charge of a firm someday. And maybe I’m also better about this type of situation due to the fact I may (or may not) have concealed and color coordinated weapons on me pretty much at all times.
Basically this is me getting ready for work. Except I’m more partial to flats. Image Courtesy of: Photobucket & the Weinstein Company
And secondly, I’m not going to disappear to ease other people consciences. You are an adult, I am an adult, we make our own decisions. And I’m sticking around to get stuff done, and you can’t be rid of me so easily. Also you have no right to banish a good fairy, unless your name is on the business, which it is not.
No one ever to told Glinda to get the Heck out of Oz. She was just doing her thing and being sparkly. And that is how I want to be. Especially with that hat! Image Courtesy of: Photobucket & Warner Bros.
And well the other one…. Hmm, there isn’t much I can do about this. All bosses everywhere do this in some shape of form… I mean if you keep pulling off impossible deadlines for them, they think that you can do so much more. Sometimes to fulfill my boss’s requests I find myself alone in the office in the dark of the night clicking and clacking away at the computer just to meet the deadline. And then after it’s all printed, he will say, no lets go back to the other thing we were at a few days ago. And then I will smile and know I tried. This actually happens a lot, and it used to make me really mad. But now I think he requests crazy things because he believes I can make magic. So now instead of getting upset when my work is shelved… when I complete the impossible tasks he asks of me, I just feel a little bit magical.
And well all of the analogies in this post came from my truly desperate grasps at happiness. Online Quizzes. Yes, when I feel a little blue I take internet quizzes that tell me things like I should paint my walls blue… or eat a margherita pizza. So this time when I was feeling a little down I took an internet quiz about Fairy tales and even the internet agreed:
You Are the Fairy! You are charming, cheerful, and a little bit magical. You make other people’s lives better. You are a bit eccentric at times, but you truly care about people in your own way. You are hyper and restless. It drives you crazy to sit still, and you are usually the first to leave any event. You are unpredictable and flighty. No one can guess what you’ll be up to next … or where you’ll be! Image Courtesy of: Blogthings
And then I applied that knowledge to my actual existence, and found that it’s not really too far off. Eccentric, cheerful, probably coated in glitter. Maybe being a fairy isn’t so bad, as long as someone thinks you’re magical.
♥Lauren
p.s. Sorry Amber who reads this blog, but you know how it is ;)
I’m sorta reeling from the sad knowledge that I have to sit for 8 hours a day again, and for my inability to wear yoga clothes to work… as I spent several days in the last week sporting some of the most bad-ass pajamas you can imagine. Penguins with popcorn, cats with little hats, neon green and gray yoga pants that would make David Lee Roth a little jealous. I’m all class in the jammy jamz department! I’m also realizing that I will not have any time out of my work confines until I vacation at the end of the year.
AT THE END OF THE YEAR.
That sounds so far away now.
Anyways… back to me in my cubicle. Everyone is talking about stuff as people in offices do. Apparently we’re moving locations in March. And actually, I’m getting a window… Imagine that, a window for little Ole’ Me! Back to the windowless rectangle I work in… some professional is doing something, and of course there is always someone trying to gossip. Is it sad that I’m used to this as my existence?
Well I’m just going to get past all of this, this year. And I will get through it with wit, smiles and far far less tears than last year. This is not the first time I will admit to get through my days I rely extensively on my imagination, and I promise myself this year that when things get ugly around me I’m going to take to my imagination and make something good instead of getting upset. And the silver lining in all of this is when I imagine things maybe I can make somebody have a giggle or two at my doodles. With that I present today’s doodles:
Cubicle thought time with Lauren is brought to you by Lauren’s crazy brain!
And then maybe someone else will ponder the current actions of Stevie Nicks. Which will start a whirlwind Stevie Nicks revolution and then people will be dressing like her… the mall will be covered in sparkly black shrouds, and then everyone will hate and simultaneously love Lindsey Buckingham, and we will all have sweet sweet necklaces:
I have been thinking about Stevie Nick’s a lot lately. Anyone else want to see Fleetwood Mac this summer? Anyone else really love the song “Rhiannon” or “Go Your Own Way?” They are personal favorites.
And then maybe someone will be driving and will smile at a stranger (and totally make their day) because their mind is being regaled by the thought of a sheep in Alpaca wooly sweaters:
This sheep is so handsome… He’s practically the George Clooney of the sheep community.
And everyone who reads this blog, thank you. I hope your new year is incredibly wonderful… and full of great and unusual thoughts and experiences. If you have some you need to share. Just drop them here. I am a recycling center for weird things.
Also all this weird I just recorded here reminds me of a truly fabulous quote:
Image Courtesy of: If you wish it- Tumblr And Lewis “Why is a Raven like a writing desk?” Carroll
Viciously Sweet 