Today I will keep this posting brief… I have been up to my eyes in work today. So that is approximately 4’8″ of work.
Anyways, I found out that this week it is National Princess week. This new holiday is sponsored by Target, Disney and Julie Andrews. 3 of America’s favorite corporations. And then I thought about how people would celebrate a week devoted to channeling your inner princess. I figured I would be dressed by birds, showered with flowers, be hassled by winsome suitors, and be wary of the fruit I ingest. But that is actually not that different from the other weeks in the year…
So everyone out there, celebrate your inner Princess, or Gaston, or Meeko the racoon! I’m going to go watch 30 rock, and eat chicken!
Today I have been super busy being all architectural and such. I should probably get back to it ASAP since we’re enjoying a deadline only the citizens of Wonderland would enjoy…
Anywho… I made a typo that I knew would make a fantastic thing to share! One that is only possible for me to create. So newly added to the vaults of things I incorrectly read/type I bring to you the following typo:
I say my sin gauge is at a solid 6.
At least I caught it before it left the office, it could have been much more disastrous in the owner of the projects possession… or even my boss. Once we sent drawings to a meeting that said “Window Lovers” instead of “Window Louvers” it wasn’t my mistake… but it was hilarious.
I’m going to have to go work on my Sin Gauge now… and draw a ramp or something.
I know it’s such a popular thing to be all “Boo… Hiss” at work on Friday’s… but for some reason I’m jumping on that bandwagon this week. And I’m jumping on that wagon with the sweet hot intensity of a bronze metal pole vaulter…. because this work week has been pretty darn brutal.
Like I’m about to hold a candle light vigil to my artistic principles- kind of brutal.
But what can you do…they can’t take my doodles away:
If today was Thursday I would be shining up my red Candies shoes... for those "Summer Nights"
My day has not been all thumbs up, and happy bird drawings today.
And that’s okay, I guess…
But when I find myself a little bit down and find the projects I’ve been working on for months in shambles… I like to take a moment to draw my b.f.f. Christine in a large pile of dip.
Mucho Guacamole dip to be exact:
Yep this is what I do to relax… draw my friends in piles of food. Which is a completely casual fun way to pass your day. Someday I hope to convince Christine to let me make new packages for her dip mixes .. until then it will just become an obsessive hobby that I will try to convince others to join in…
So take some time, and draw someone you adore in a big ole pile of dip.
♫Lauren
P to the S: Did you notice my not so hidden advertisement for MPK Foods? You should totally buy MPK Food’s Mucho Guacamole Dip! It’s the dip mix of Champions and is 100% Lauren and Christine approved.
It has been so very long since a quote from Professional Eric has graced the pages of Viciously Sweet. It was thought to be forgotten… until I heard that the world was suffering from a verbal professional drought! Then I recalled recent times in the office have been incredibly busy and also photoshop-less.
And then with all the magic of an 8-ball, Eric valiantly saved my computer from the viruses that plagued it, and enabled me to delve into the quote archives and resurrect the Professional Quote of the Day!
Without Eric, Professional Quote of the Day 2.0 would be impossible.
Without any further ado I present to you PQOTD2.0, volume 1:
Let us all commence data entry to honor him, professionally!
I have been really busy, with being the maid of honor to my sister and her quickly approaching wedding. Seriously, its like 10 days to that thing and I’m running around like a bull in the streets of Pamplona…But, that doesn’t mean I should neglect you. I think today I’m going to tell you a story that could make any girl relate.
You know when you are just trying to have a good time, and you put a little extra effort into looking nice, and you feel like a million bucks (that’s a lot of deer’s, btw.) And then you realize you are in the presence of an avid drinker of Haterade, their favorite flavor in this case, “Rain on Lauren’s dreams”. Well not too long ago I found myself in this situation, and I was not as drunk as I wish I could have been to have to be around this person.
I decided that with a little help of the B.F.F. I could completely ignore this person. I mean like totally ignore them, like a CBS comedy. So then as my luck so has it, I found myself not 10 minutes later in a conversation that includes this certain person… Shoot me in the face, right? And then much like the 1993 hit of Tag Team, “whoomp, there it is” an insult out of nowhere.
“OMG. Her hair is a weave.” And that her mentioned… was me!
Just like that, like its just a fact. I was so insulted, that I really had no response. I touched my not fake hair and felt a little bitter pang. Ouch, usually I don’t put a lot of effort into myself. But I put my hair in hot rollers that day. Hot Rollers!!! I was trying to look nice!!! And then I thought if I had RuPaul was actually my fairy god mother, she would have all the words to make me feel better at that moment… all the wisdom I so desperately needed. I think she would have told this person to “Sashay away, and untuck back stage.”
But this time, I really did the right thing, I think. I responded, “My hair is real, thanks.” And I ended it, I dropped the conversation and really felt like a big girl. And left to bigger and better conversations… (So I later OMG’d about it with my friends, and told my sister*, but in the moment… acted I totally acted like an adult.)
But, I’m not so much an adult that I also didn’t take the time to draw about it:
I just used hot rollers, thanks for your casual hatred!
And I realized that this person and I shall never be friends, and that is WAY OKAY with me. I could say something like I learned to be a better person because of this situation. But I really just realized I like myself, and I’m so glad I don’t have to be in Horsetown with that Naysayer all the time! So you know what, I’m going to go on being 5 feet of tangible sunshine over here. And next time I will have a guard Kenneth with me:
This usually coincides with one or more circumstances
1. She’s being harassed by staples (the store, not the paper binding object)
2. She is angry at some professional entity (see Professional Eric)
3. She just lost that monopoly card game
This is the results:
CRAZY. AS . HECTERINES. (WHICH IS A NECTARINE FROM HELL)
♫Lauren
I was a child who knew what things were good and what things were bad. This applied to cakes, toys that I played with, cartoons that were rad, and even people.
I was a judgmental little thing, and not really that much has changed*.
*Especially not my love of Pee Wee Herman, and hair accessories!
But good thing for everyone my mom doesn’t buy me bare midriff tops or hot pants in day glo colors, well at least not for work.
Happy Friday! Go Judge something for me this weekend.
♫Lauren
Last week my neighbors had a party where they had a candy bar. Jellybeans, weird toffee, snickers, twix, and a whole tub of pixie stix. When I saw those sugary tubes of joy I knew I had to have one. One turned into 3, and that turned into 7 and I was just so happy that my taste buds still thought they were as rad as they did 15 years ago. (I feel very blessed.)
So I feel a little less this:
And a little more this:
Although, now I feel like I have a problem. I didn’t realize at the time is that this candy would turn me into a sugar addict. Like Charlie Sheen style, on top of the world, kind of sugar addict.
So I tried to stop, but at lunch I had a Dr. Pepper and I’m back to basically wanting to roll through pile sugar (while I threaten someone into a closet, who will shortly call the police on me).
Also the biggest conundrum of all.. how am I supposed to lose weight for my sister’s wedding if all I want is to eat all the sugar in the world?
And worse is she going to replace me with Ashton Kutcher if I can’t stop myself?!?!
Viciously Sweet 