And I really like when that happens because, I can make something super nice for someone!
Apparently last year when I drew myself as a mermaid I started a frenzy of other people I know who also never got to realize their mermaid potential. I was hearing right and left from others who felt that they too needed to be a creature of the sea!
One of those wonderful people was Sarah! The adorable sister of Jimmy!
And even though I took a moderate eternity to finish it… Here she finally is…and I would like to present to the entire internet.
Sarah my mermaid homegirl:
She’s fishtastic! No wait she’s mer-iffic!
It’s so hard to be a mermaid in the Valley. But she’s totally doing it everyday complete with a classy, flashy, fish friend. She has the best mermaid style is all sorts of sparkly purple, has constantly color changing follicles… and is the best caretaker of sea horses in the whole Pacific.
This is pretty much on her business card.
I hope you like it Sarah! And I hope everyone has a super great weekend.
I’m off to the beach… to celebrate my bestie Isabel’s bachelorette party this weekend and not necessarily to become a mermaid.
Have a nice weekend everybody!
♥Lauren (who is going to be a mermaid no matter what)
i feel like some Gwen Stefani right now without spectacular abs…
My life has been like super crazy hectic lately.
I don’t know when it happened… But my boring drawing-in-my-pajamas-lifestyle is disappearing.
And it’s being replaced by the life of someone who to keep dates straight… has a calendar.
A CALENDAR for crying out loud!
I now have to know when dates of the week are… and well that has never been one of my strong points. And then I have to remind myself to not doodle over days on said calendar.
And for a first time calendar user. I can tell you I’m not super into it. It’s severely cramping my lifestyle. I’ve always relied on being an “artist” and just wafting all about… like one day I’m here next day I’m some place else. Following my proverbial sun to wherever I need to go….
Will I call you back? Will you see me before the seasons change? The world may never know.
And now there are schedules, and deadlines. And for some reason… I just seem to keep failing at all of them.
Meet you here at this time? I’m either super early, or nope… I forgot this and now we have to reschedule…
And now I’m stressed out. And the only way I can de-stress is to make light of my last week of failures.
and now without fail….
Lauren’s week of Blunders:
– Losing my pants… where did they go? I have no idea. But the weather is changing and I don’t want to wear tights under my dresses everyday. This is not practical. I’m about to put out a flyer looking for them.
– Forgetting how calendars work… why are we arguing about days of the week??? Because I was looking in the wrong month. Yeah, I am not used to calendars.
– Falling to the earth for no apparent reason while standing and talking to my mother. She probably thinks I was drunk. Every time I do something strange she assumes both alcohol & drugs.
– The always dangerous, the dress you are wearing is see through… And now everyone has seen your superman underpants. Why do dresses not seem sheer when you are trying them on? Why do superman underpants show through everything?
-Everything I have done at work… I mean EVERYTHING! Any time I try to do things the right way… and I end up crying… and my boss has not been super nice to me lately either. I have contemplated becoming a gypsy and a hot dog attendant at weinerschnitzel several times in the last week. Or a combination of the two “Gypsyschnitzel” has a great appeal to it. I imagine a lot of tambourines and sauerkraut.
– I also can’t find my sneakers and think there is conspiracy happening… where did one pants and one shoe go to? I’m thinking Jack White stole them…. and I can’t explain why.
-And everything pertaining to relationships (part of my need for a calendar) Apparently people get upset when you tell them… you have no time for them.
I’m done with my blunders… Okay this all seems kinda negative.
So onto some positive things
– I have been doodling more lately… which is better than all the nothing I was drawing last month.
-New TV is on and by that I mean… “The Mindy Project” & “Parks & Recreation”. I seem to watch nothing else.
-My internet adds are all for new shoes and yeti merchandise.
-I’m getting pizza in a few minutes and I feel like this:
If someone hired a private eye to find out all my secrets they would probably be legit bored with their findings. So they also should say in their contract that the Private Eye must sing “Private Eyes” by Hall & Oates to make this deal lucrative in any way:
And today in all my giggly boredom. I have decided to wiki-leak myself.
Now why would I do that?
Because well, this is one of my most fascinating secrets:
I have so many toys with weird joint locations and animals I cannot even fathom what they are… and even something called a zwinky.
That is all.
And if you already knew this…. I already said my confessions were probably boring. But I do have a crazy awesome collection of incredibly lame toys. They both fascinate, inspire and terrify me all at the same time. For example this thing:
Stomach face toy of yesteryear. Oh the memories of scaring Isabel with this!
Until my next cool confession, you go ahead make a few calzones and have a great day!
Today I’m going to share a little bit about American history. And by that I mean you will learn very little about American History if you continue reading.
It’s actually about one of my latest favorite things.
And much like me, they are a little on the peculiar side. And they keep coming up in such strange ways.
One of them is Alexander Hamilton.
Alexander Hamilton… just chilling like he does on the $10 bill
Yeah, that guy from American money.
And no I’m not like that guy from the milk commercial, I’m not that super into Hamilton.
I mean seriously, there is something so serious about the straight up coolness of Alexander Hamilton. He was a major political figure who was born in the West Indies, and was sadly orphaned at 11. He grew up into a fancy gentleman that steamily created our National Bank system. And if you aren’t already sold on his hot face, and steamy bank system… He also created his own political party… I mean we would never have had the Federalists. And aren’t they fantastic? He was also a political rival of Thomas-All-The-Ladies-Were-Hot-For-Him-Jefferson. He didn’t even give a crap when he was supposed to support another Federalist running for government positions, he wouldn’t support them if he thought they were the worst. And kind of because of this… he was shot in New York in a fight, because he’s cool like that. And true story, he is the hottest guy on American money.
Seriously.
I mean with Ben Franklin and Andrew Jackson as your peers… Hamilton pretty much has this on lock.
My sister says she prefers Grant. But, come on look at Hamilton on that 10 note. He is just asking for you to pay someone a large amount of money in 10s so you can say you are paying them handsomely. Actually, this is a new goal of mine.
And now I know I’m right because there is others who agree with me.
Mindy Kaling, queen of all that she surveys-and-being-a-hot-mess, agrees with me:
See Mindy agrees!
So basically I feel vindicated as heck.
And here’s the doodle I have used to commemorate this entire event.
This is some of the things that Mindy and I have in common… we can talk about this for hours.
Did you learn anything?
No?
Sorry, I’m not a real history teacher.
But now you know that Alexander Hamilton is amazing.
And now that you too are super into Hamilton you can get this commemorative bobble-head.
It’s a super great piece to add to any Alexander Hamilton collection. Available via Amazon, and places that sell exquisite things.
I promised to update because well there is always a lot of silliness in my life.
And I’m going to try to be super positive.
So bear with me.
And no, not literally a bear.
I am going to tell you a story of how I became a 27 year-old who seems really smart but also at the same time appears to know nothing.
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So when I was a kid, all I liked to do is read and make art. And then I grew up and I discovered like to read and make art.
I even chose to go to an all girls Catholic High School, because it had a better curriculum than the school near my house. I mean that is something teenage girls would pick… right? I know now that no teenage girl would probably pick to go to an all girls Catholic School, over a school littered with boys who wear their pants incorrectly. But I was a nerd who worked at a library, and this seemed like a sound decision to me. So basically, I was a teenager who read a lot and learned very little about boys.
I went to prom with a super wonderful gay friend, who danced with me to “Love Shack” by the B-52s. We giggled about music, and how he was an artist. And other than that, I was basically a teenage shut-in. Preparing for being a gown up, who had a job… and could freely draw chickens or whatever I wanted to draw whenever I wanted to draw. And basically I was going to live life in an exciting city like “Caroline in the City” and everything was just going to work out. I mean sitcoms are practically real… right? And well, at the time I was more concerned with learning and making really great lasting relationships with my bffs. Also, I was really into seeing punk rock bands, and buying all my accessories at Claires. Basically, from the stories people tell about me from being a teenager I was basically the Ferris Bueller of the middle class Catholic School world, making my own parties, and being asked to go on zany adventures from boys who would check out books from the library.
And I went to a college to get a degree, because I liked my brain smarts. I never really thought about relationships because well I was just a decent looking short girl… who was incredibly awkward with people in general, let alone cute guys. And so it went on like that. I would occasionally have a boyfriend, and then I wouldn’t…. and it never really meant much to me either way.
But now that I am a girl in my late 20s and kind of have it mostly together work wise. I realize maybe I should try to find someone who likes to go to museums and laugh at old NBC comedies like I do. (This is where I want to put in my TRL like shout out to “Wings” and “Scrubs”.) And also I should probably go out more, because although my pets are great company they never seem to comprehend British humor. But now when I do strike into the world I find it hard to go out with anyone who isn’t more interested in my boobs, and or bragging that they are with someone who has boobs… I really just am not getting any of this. These guys are supposed to have evolved from this, I mean they are in their late 20s and early 30s. In fact, even just trying to share a story about working in a library before my office job constantly brings up comments about “sexy librarians” or mentioning where I went to highs school results in “do you still have the school uniform”?
And like, ew. Even though every girl likes to feel a little spicy hot sometimes. Please don’t make yourself sound like you are a weird pervert when i first meet you. I mean, I don’t ask if you still have the McDonald’s uniform. And I have never asked if fries could come with that shake…
So finally. Eww.
And the moral of the story is, I am so spectacularly bad at dating that I think I could make a sitcom about it. And my last few dates have literally made me think that becoming a shut-in or the world’s first architect/nun would be a thrilling way to spend the rest of my days.
I’m just going to return to my books now where no one will be rude or creepy…. to me. Also Parks & Recreation isn’t going to watch itself….
Last night I realized it’s been so long since I have posted any doodle in this internetty world.
I guess it’s because I’ve been all out of sorts. I found most things in the last month turned all topsy-turvy. And for someone who’s life has been very boring and orderly for half a year…. I at first was beyond overwhelmed. Babies, health, my parents becoming utterly crazy people, my friends coming unhinged… and me becoming more responsible… SHUDDER.
And for most of the month I found myself worried about things I can’t control. Because there is nothing I can do for anybody. Not one single thing, except be my silly self.
Earlier today I heard my coworkers discussing the faces they put out to the world. They are different around friends, colleagues, their family. They have all these masks that they wear to fill in these different roles they create. I looked at them and didn’t understand, they responded by saying… but not you. “With Lauren… what you see is what you get.”
And I think I like that.
I’m a little too much. But sometimes you just need that little extra. And I think you should always be yourself… no matter where you are.
The only thing getting me through the last few days has been being myself and being okay with that. Also, I must add I do know some really great people. And when I think about them I can’t even help but smile… because they make me feel very wonderful. They make me feel like a gushy-gooey marshmallow… in the best way possible!
And that clearly segue’s into my gushy marshmallow doodle:
And that’s all I have to say. Be happy, love yourself, love everyone. And I hope that there is at least one thing today that makes your feel all gushy- gooey like a marshmallow.
It’s Tuesday. My project is late, and of course the printer isn’t working.
There is are only 2 things I can do
1. Play Musical Printers and Try to get this drawing printed for my boss in the next 20 minutes.
2. Join the Circus
The silliest answer is the one I would most happily choose. Then people could discuss it when I don’t show up tomorrow. I can just imagine it….
Shocked Coworker #1: “Where is Lauren?”
Shocked Coworker #2: “She isn’t in? Did you wait longer for her to show up… she’s always late.”
Observant Coworker: “She left all her drawings, and the metal scale next to a strawberry stained note saying she’s left for the circus”
A hush spreads over the room.
Shocked Coworker #1: “She left food in the fridge. It’s mine.”
And then much like the conclusion to the tv series LOST, I will never be discussed again in the valleys of San Gabriel.
I will leave behind a hummingbird feeder, and assorted doodles of cats. I will take everything else… For my chic new gypsy wagon.
I would miss my big girl bed, and of course wi-fi. But I can always loiter at some circus adjacent starbucks after I master my new circus-y skill.
What would that skill be??? Well, I don’t really know. I don’t think I would trust me as a tightrope walker, or a juggler of swords. I could probably sit on an elephant like a champion. I am good at waving and climbing… so Elephant sitter on-er it is!
Let’s go with that thought… Lauren the Elephant Sitter. I would sell literally dozens of tickets.
Maybe I should stay with Architecture a little while longer.
Circus dreams
Happy Tuesday everyone. I hope your printers are working with gusto.
Viciously Sweet 