The Tragic Kingdom

26 Sep

i feel like some Gwen Stefani right now without spectacular abs…

My life has been like super crazy hectic lately.

I don’t know when it happened… But my boring drawing-in-my-pajamas-lifestyle is disappearing.

And it’s being replaced by the life of someone who to keep dates straight… has a calendar.

A CALENDARΒ for crying out loud!

I now have to know when dates of the week are… and well that has never been one of my strong points. And then I have to remind myself to not doodle over days on said calendar.

And for a first time calendar user. I can tell you I’m not super into it. It’s severely cramping my lifestyle. I’ve always relied on being an “artist” and just wafting all about… like one day I’m here next day I’m some place else. Following my proverbial sun to wherever I need to go….

Will I call you back? Will you see me before the seasons change? The world may never know.

And now there are schedules, and deadlines. And for some reason… I just seem to keep failing at all of them.

Meet you here at this time? I’m either super early, or nope… I forgot this and now we have to reschedule…

And now I’m stressed out. And the only way I can de-stress is to make light of my last week of failures.

and now without fail….

Lauren’s week of Blunders:

– Losing my pants… where did they go? I have no idea. But the weather is changing and I don’t want to wear tights under my dresses everyday. This is not practical. I’m about to put out a flyer looking for them.

– Forgetting how calendars work… why are we arguing about days of the week??? Because I was looking in the wrong month. Yeah, I am not used to calendars.

– Falling to the earth for no apparent reason while standing and talking to my mother. She probably thinks I was drunk. Every time I do something strange she assumes both alcohol & drugs.

– The always dangerous, the dress you are wearing is see through… And now everyone has seen your superman underpants. Why do dresses not seem sheer when you are trying them on? Why do superman underpants show through everything?

-Everything I have done at work… I mean EVERYTHING! Any time I try to do things the right way… and I end up crying… and my boss has not been super nice to me lately either. I have contemplated becoming a gypsy and a hot dog attendant at weinerschnitzel several times in the last week. Or a combination of the two “Gypsyschnitzel” has a great appeal to it. I imagine a lot of tambourines and sauerkraut.

– I also can’t find my sneakers and think there is conspiracy happening… where did one pants and one shoe go to? I’m thinking Jack White stole them…. and I can’t explain why.

-And everything pertaining to relationships (part of my need for a calendar) Apparently people get upset when you tell them… you have no time for them.

I’m done with my blunders… Okay this all seems kinda negative.

So onto some positive things

– I have been doodling more lately… which is better than all the nothing I was drawing last month.

-New TV is on and by that I mean… “The Mindy Project” & “Parks & Recreation”. I seem to watch nothing else.

-My internet adds are all for new shoes and yeti merchandise.

-I’m getting pizza in a few minutes and I feel like this:

image via: this very tumblr

Peace & Pizza & better days ahead.

β™₯Lauren

Advertisements

11 Responses to “The Tragic Kingdom”

  1. La La September 26, 2013 at 12:57 pm #

    I have also had a missing pair of pants. I’m expecting them to turn up any day now. ;-)

    • Viciously Sweet September 26, 2013 at 1:10 pm #

      Maybe we owned the same pants and they are homeward bounding to one of us?
      My imagination is amazing.
      Also, good luck on your pants recovery.

      • La La September 26, 2013 at 1:12 pm #

        You too. Perhaps they are the traveling pants of that alleged sisterhood!

      • Viciously Sweet September 26, 2013 at 1:18 pm #

        Oh darn. I forgot to schedule to pay my member fees… They will never come back now!

  2. The Hook September 27, 2013 at 3:06 am #

    I feel your pain, Lauren. My life has been one big blur for months – and it doesn’t appear as though its going to calm down any time soon!
    At least you haven’t lost your sense of humor!

    • Viciously Sweet September 27, 2013 at 10:17 am #

      Thanks SeΓ±or Hook!
      I know I haven’t even had a chance to catch up on all the things I like to read! Like your blog… I’m so behind!
      I hope to get back to maximum giggles really soon!

      • The Hook September 27, 2013 at 10:40 am #

        Not to worry, I’ve barely posted lately so you’re not too far behind.

  3. kellml289 September 27, 2013 at 9:38 am #

    This may be an unpopular opinion but I ABSOLUTELY LOVE CALENDARS. Like I am not even kidding. haha I currently have two like actual planners (one to carry in my purse at all times, the other for next to my bed if I need to check something and my purse is not nearby….obv.) I had never really been a fan of the calendar on my phone because I didn’t ever look at it but now that’s also in the mix. And of course I have two traditional calendars hanging in my room. The point is that I am a huge loser. :-P BUT I hope that you can come to appreciate the wonderful feeling of organization that comes with keeping a planner. But if not, oh well, it’s not for everybody!

    I also think the gypsy/hot dog selling combo is genius.

    • Viciously Sweet September 27, 2013 at 10:41 am #

      I’m going to sound like a crazy person right now… Please explain the world of calendars to me. As a scheduling novice I’m really getting confused between phone and paper! What kind of paper one should I use… because i’m using something more like a sketchbook with post its. Should I use a phone? I need to be more organized!
      Help me kellml289… you are my only hope!

      And yes the gypsy-dog is really my best invention of the week.

      • kellml289 September 27, 2013 at 12:30 pm #

        ok no. I love this kind of stuff. I love organization and planning so like I’m so excited to answer this. But like I’m also a cool nerd/loser. Whatevs. Anyway. What you need is a legit paper 2013-2014 paper planner. There are a million kinds to choose from, I would recommend one with a Month and Weekly view. There are a TON of cute ones at like Barnes and Noble I know. I prefer the paper method just because for me, sometimes if I don’t write something down myself, like it doesn’t seem real? (weird) However, that being said, a LOT of people really like using their phone as a calendar because you always have it and you can set alerts and stuff. That might actually be better for you start off with now that I’m thinking about it because it will remind you when things are! Also. Google Calendar. Not too hard to figure out, can sync with your phone, and you get to COLOR CODE EVERYTHING and its super fun. Google Calendar was my LIFE in college. hahaha Ultimately, your personal preference will become apparent and that will be what works best for you! You can totally do this. It will do wonders for your life (not scientifically proven…)

        Anddddd whose the crazy person now?

      • Viciously Sweet September 30, 2013 at 5:02 pm #

        I do like color coding everything!
        And I remember things by writing them down too. I have been using my phone calendar… and when I rely on it… I find that unless I check it a lot I miss things because alarms don’t always go off. And then I find myself trying to do 2-3 things at a time. You actually reminded me I used to love keeping a planner in high school… I actually kept a few because they are amazing. I usually end up drawing in them when I’m bored… I draw a lot actually.
        Thanks for the help. I am so appreciative.

Say it to My Rostro

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: