Today I was given the daunting task of putting all of the fixtures my company uses in the conference room to be reviewed by the head honchos of the company.
My boss naively told me to pin-up on the north side of the conference room. I told him that I may need a little more space than that.
Flash forward 2 hours later all 3 walls of the conference room are covered in our fixtures. Actually every surface had fixtures taped on it, besides the glass wall. And even that wall had fixtures pinned up on it’s column.
It was pretty overwhelming to see that many drawings all at once… it actually reminded me of something… something from a movie:
Boy is there going to be a lot of work to get done tomorrow.
For some reason architecture departments are like 98% all dudes.
Even at new office there are 15 guys in the department and only one other lady. Now this means you will talk about old comedies, sports, and how the other art departments have dudes who put too much time into getting dressed.
But there are also other things that happen…
And I’m not talking about no line to wait to use the ladies room…
I even got a gel pen that freaking erases. IT ACTUALLY ERASES!!!
This time of year always has so much stuff to get done. It’s hard to savor a moment.
And then all my spare time lately has been learning highly specific things about architecture. As someday soon I would like to have my license and be able to sign my name to all the drawings of buildings I feel confident and proud to say that I have worked on.
I have been finding a lot of my nights that don’t involve dancing, or shopping for lovely gifts for my family have been me reading about new types of construction, lateral loads, wind forces, and proper ventilation.
And it’s doing funny things to my brain.
It has several times in the last month made my brain feel overloaded.
Like I can tell you about foundation underpinning, but I forgot which way is left.
Or I can explain to you LEED requirements but I can’t remember what a hoagie is.
“I want one of those long sandwiches… with the meaty goodness and the cheese. You know what talking about!!!!”
And the saddest thing of all is I can’t even retain silly television trivia.
My brain has temporarily shut down on all things I find interesting.
And has replaced it with buildings and ceilings, and details of stairs.
I have been very scattered lately. I have all these ideas floating around on loose leaf paper, and post-it notes. I have accumulated so many of these scraps my desk at work and at home is beginning to look like I’m starring in a remake of “Memento.”
I actually even have physical post-it notes on my phone. and they are written on front and back. I am aware of them every time I pull my phone out… because as many people have told me they make apps that negate my use of actual post-its. But lets just be honest, if I have to click around on a screen to find this graphic post it note… I’m not going to remember it if I’m in a rush. And true story I have digital post-its on that program from May, and those things are still incomplete.
You may be saying to yourself right now… why are you having a traffic jam of thoughts in your imagination? And I will tell you, I have let myself get busy. I tell myself that if I get it half done I can finish it later. And later just isn’t showing up. I’m so stressed at work my hair is graying, and I find myself nearly passing out from exhaustion at 7:30. Yes 7:30, I can barely make it past the time the elderly are watching Wheel of Fortune. Also trying to figure out the business end of all the projects I’m trying to start right now is also killing my brain. I realize the reason I didn’t go into business is because I frankly find it confusing. Numbers and marketing? No thanks, I just want to bust out some of my thoughts with the free crayons I got at lunch.
The only thing that has been calming me the last few art-less days is listening to music. However now my imagination is mixing with the sweet sweet melodies and the next thing I know I am preoccupied with my ideas again, and then out comes another sheet of paper, another post-it. And the vicious cycle continues. You can’t comprehend how much I don’t want to be looking at these ceiling plans and renderings. They are trying to consume me with their evil stringent rules and budgets.
Anytime my coworkers have talked to me in the last few days they first have to break me from the spell of Joy Division, New Order or Of Monsters and Men to get in a word to my brain… and even then it’s questionable if I can soak in what they are telling me. My brain is lost in the music:
Tonight I vow that I will make time for my artistic needs. Hopefully this will clear up my brain so I can get more done for the big Friday rush. And seriously… does anyone have a post it? I have this great idea about a…
Today I have not much to post or any desire to color… because work is really boring. Here is an artist interpretation of my boredom:
And then I got really excited that I get to go to the doctor’s office. This has never happened before as I really don’t like going to the doctor… like it’s at the bottom of my fun list… but today it’s like a blessing from the Lord of Healthcare. Go bad back!
And also go work! I think they like to make sure all my dreams are dead by Wednesday, so they are really ahead this week.
I work in a very interesting office.
The people I work with would make great characters if anyone decided to write about them. (Which I sometimes do!) We all seem to be complex creatures, and more than a little out there. But lately, there has been a lot more work and a lot less fun…
Yeah, yeah I have more project responsibility, but quite frankly I’m not an architectural Spiderman.
And then to make it worse, everything has been so quiet in here that I feel my office mates may have been replaced with scarecrow versions of themselves. Just propped up to the computer with an occasional mouse clicking sound being emitted from them.
I cannot exist happily in an environment like this… it makes me very sad and makes me lack any sort of inspiration. Which is a total bummer when you are making spaces for people to work in, I feel like they suffer secondhand depression spaces to work in because, of this lackluster environment I am stuck in. And then I looked around my actual office and realized the actual windowless cubicle I work in is not helping my office depression either, I hardly ever see outside during actual sunny hours. I remember it being very lovely:
Now I’m not completely dissing my office. It is in a great location… once you get outside. And by that I mean, it’s next to a bar. And my boss is wonderful and I work with a couple of really great people. But really, the walls that block the vision from the windows seems like a cruel joke. The fact I am the only person that doesn’t have a window… is a crueler joke. Why did the person who drew up this building hate people so much, why not make sitelines so I can see the beautiful mountains just outside the building? Why did you set the lobby on the most blinding side of the building? Why has no one ever replaced the pink marble tiles that have cracks big enough to get your heels stuck in? Why is everything outside of our rented space mauve and brown?
It’s not like I need the circus at work.. I just need a little more joy.
Sometimes studying is really tiresome. This is especially true when you are studying pages of how to reinforce bricks.
There is actually not much in the world more boring than studying to be an architect. And from talking to my friends who are in the same dilapidated boat of studying, I know I am not alone. Hey there study buddies!
But lately when I am perusing my study guides, I keep being attacked viciously by blankets and the Sand Man.
Today for example I only made it through 17 pages of brick patterns and mortar ratings before my eyes succumbed to the sweet allure of my dreams… which were sadly also about bricks.
Maybe after some good dinner I will be a little more successful.