Where is my mind?

I have been very scattered lately. I have all these ideas floating around on loose leaf paper, and post-it notes. I have accumulated so many of these scraps my desk at work and at home is beginning to look like I’m starring in a remake of “Memento.”

I actually even have physical post-it notes on my phone. and they are written on front and back. I am aware of them every time I pull my phone out… because as many people have told me they make apps that negate my use of actual post-its. But lets just be honest, if I have to click around on a screen to find this graphic post it note… I’m not going to remember it if I’m in a rush. And true story I have digital post-its on that program from May, and those things are still incomplete.

No problem in 3 months I’ll be wondering what I meant by “incandescent toboggan” and your digital reminder will be lost to the world…

You may be saying to yourself right now… why are you having a traffic jam of thoughts in your imagination? And I will tell you, I have let myself get busy. I tell myself that if I get it half done I can finish it later. And later just isn’t showing up. I’m so stressed at work my hair is graying, and I find myself nearly passing out from exhaustion at 7:30. Yes 7:30, I can barely make it past the time the elderly are watching Wheel of Fortune. Also trying to figure out the business end of all the projects I’m trying to start right now is also killing my brain. I realize the reason I didn’t go into business is because I frankly find it confusing. Numbers and marketing? No thanks, I just want to bust out some of my thoughts with the free crayons I got at lunch.

And they are freaking crayola’s… FOR FREE. I FEEL LIKE I JUST WON PUBLISHERS CLEARING HOUSE OF CHILDISH ART SUPPLIES!!!! In my day they would just give you those knock off really waxy crayons… kids these days are all about the name brand.

The only thing that has been calming me the last few art-less days is listening to music. However now my imagination is mixing with the sweet sweet melodies and the next thing I know I am preoccupied with my ideas again, and then out comes another sheet of paper, another post-it. And the vicious cycle continues. You can’t comprehend how much I don’t want to be looking at these ceiling plans and renderings. They are trying to consume me with their evil stringent rules and budgets.

Anytime my coworkers have talked to me in the last few days they first have to break me from the spell of Joy Division, New Order or Of Monsters and Men to get in a word to my brain… and even then it’s questionable if I can soak in what they are telling me. My brain is lost in the music:

Tonight I vow that I will make time for my artistic needs. Hopefully this will clear up my brain so I can get more done for the big Friday rush. And seriously… does anyone have a post it? I have this great idea about a…


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