Today is a great day in history. Abraham FREAKING Lincoln’s birthday!
Also I have to make a post about this because my friend Jimmy is Practically Lincoln’s Sweet Valley twin. And they are both even February babies… so I am now totally convinced of my findings!
I have made a doodle of my proof:
Have a Great rest of the weekend people!
♫Lauren
There are some certain truths on the internet.
You can always get that thing you want cheaper on Amazon. You can lose your day on Reddit. You can listen to the most Coldplay ever on Pandora. You can play bubble shooter as long as your clicking hands allow you… And, you will eventually get a letter from a Nigerian Prince asking you for money.
Last week Christine ran into this predicament. Her father/head of the best dip company in the world, received a suspicious email which he then forwarded to her. The email went on about her accounting not being correct and she owed money to A Federation in Nigeria and they of course need all her banking information to fix this correction. Christine did not believe this (obviously), but she found the email a swift treasure that was sure to make us giggle with reckless abandon.
Onward to the giggles!
The person who emailed her Dr. Ahmed Salami, to be precise (seriously?!?) Informed her he was “Auditor-General of the Federation that has the yam and knife on this issue at the moment.” Christine’s response, first laughter, then a flashback to her undergrad days as an Anthropology student… My response, unbridled laughter and then this:
I implore everyone to go out into the world and take what you need by the yam and knife!
P.S. Don’t ever believe Dr. Salami, I think he may not be a real doctor…
♫Lauren
There are many things that can be said about me. One of those things is I have a very certain style of clothing I am the most comfortable in. Now it’s not sweat pants outfits, or superhero capes or anything of that sort. I am sort of in a serious relationship with dresses. I actually have so many that I could go about a month with never having to wear a pant at all… and since I live in California… basically I live a dream pant-less existence.
Earlier this week my mother told me showed me a dress that looked a bit like a mid-century-modern-sailor. And since that is basically the style I go for, I told my mom she was pretty spot on. I loved it so much I had decided on purchasing it!
And then I realized the next day that I had a problem. I have 3 versions of that very dress and have no real need for that dress at all! As heart breaking as it is it would be silly to have 4 blue nautical inspired color block dresses*… unless of course I was going on a cruise on the love boat, and then everyday I would want to show up on the deck like the most convivial passenger on a boat (which I would be.)
But since I have to work in an office 30 minutes away from the beach… I must suppress my nautical desires. But, I can still have my dreams…
Jolly Hollers,
Lauren
*I’m pretty much blaming my need for navy blue clothes on my 4 years at Catholic High School. It just goes so well with everything, and makes me feel spiffy. However Nuns, I still refuse to wear white socks…
Work has been really quite busy as of late.
My boss thinks I know enough stuff to manage my own projects which is very different from the view of architecture I usually have… which is in essence draw and print.
I have in the last few weeks been learning the differences and backing capabilities of carpet… experiencing meetings about wall hung toilets and drain pipes, answering engineers questions, measuring trelli (that is my plural of trellis, because I’m not a fan of the word trellises).
Also today I had to tell a client that we’re running late on his new project because he keeps making changes to his old projects. In essence he back-burner-ed himself.
As you can tell, I’m basically experiencing the most exciting thing architecture really has to offer you… which is work.
However all this work has seriously made me want to make changes to my business cards:
On my break today I will be making a cuffs and a crown…
♫Lauren
There are some days in the office where you are so busy drawing details of ceilings, and learning the difference between broadloom carpets and woven carpets that you think nothing really exciting can happen.
And then like a bolt of lightning from Zeus himself, a professional bursts from his cubicle to help out on an impromptu conference call and saves the day from a certain lack of clarity.
Today Professional Eric proved he was the most professional of them all, when he leaped from his chair mid-email to an engineer, to help said engineer on the phone. Thusly saving him from falling into a grand abyss of confusion.
And then I got to quote this:
February 2nd, is truly a day that will go down in professional history.
♫Lauren
Today I measured a warehouse with the most professional of measuring buddies. And I told him today’s most precious news.
It’s my friend Jimmy’s birthday.
Yes, magical Jimmy! I call him this because not many people in the world would let you incessantly take pictures of them for 5 years straight, and rarely complain… well sometimes he did, but I took pictures anyway.
Well today Jimmy turns 27. Which makes me realize several things:
-I’ve known Jimmy for 9 years this August, and I have no ideas where the years have gone.
-I wish he’d become an Abraham Lincoln Impersonator… because he is tall, skinny and has brown hair (in my mind that makes you Abraham Lincoln)
-When are we going to go rummage through more thanksgiving postcards?
-I wonder if you are going to watch Carrie to celebrate your birthday, because if so I’m in.
-Will young James ever become a professional clog dancer? Or ever take a clogging class (I’m betting no)
-I wish that you would sing karaoke versions of Dolly Parton songs with me I would like to sing 9 to 5, thanks.
-Will you ever become the Where’s Waldo of Santa Barbara?
Okay I know that those are really strange observations… but I reserve only the best for Jimmy. And’ here’s the corresponding doodle:
p.s. If you like any of the things mentioned in this blog… like Waldo, Santa Barbara, Thanksgiving Postcards, Halloween movies and being weird… you should totally find Jimmy he likes those kinds of things
Happy Birthday Jimmy!
♫Lauren
My sister got married this last Saturday and I have to tell you it was incredibly awesome. The weather cleared before her ceremony, the day went on without a hitch. We giggled in incredible amount. I caught one of those bouquets she threw. So I guess that means I’m getting married. Someone should tell Jon Hamm as I choose him to marry in sound mind.
And of course, she looked amazing! And since she is not a fan of me posting pictures of her online (I am beginning to believe she is an international Jewel thief), I have decided to show this one of the back of her dress:
What I can share about what I have learned about weddings is that they are a lot of work, A LOT OF WORK! But when you love the couple it is more than incredibly worth it. I have never worked so much at a party ever, also I had a police escort to her room with the Dollar Dance moola. And I must give another thank you to Christine, who was a guest that didn’t mind to help me!
I would like to share my rating of my sister’s wedding; 2 awesome thumbs up and 1 great winky face to my sister. I hope you are bonkers happy for all eternity!
Forever your girl,
Lauren
P.S. Word to my brother, it was an honor to see you dance to “Sexy & I know it” has changed my life. And in the future will totally traumatize both of your children. Rock on Tony!
Good Afternoon Professional Quote Enthusiasts!
It has been so very long since a quote from Professional Eric has graced the pages of Viciously Sweet. It was thought to be forgotten… until I heard that the world was suffering from a verbal professional drought! Then I recalled recent times in the office have been incredibly busy and also photoshop-less.
And then with all the magic of an 8-ball, Eric valiantly saved my computer from the viruses that plagued it, and enabled me to delve into the quote archives and resurrect the Professional Quote of the Day!
Without Eric, Professional Quote of the Day 2.0 would be impossible.
Without any further ado I present to you PQOTD2.0, volume 1:
Let us all commence data entry to honor him, professionally!
♫Lauren
Hello there internet!
I have been really busy, with being the maid of honor to my sister and her quickly approaching wedding. Seriously, its like 10 days to that thing and I’m running around like a bull in the streets of Pamplona…But, that doesn’t mean I should neglect you. I think today I’m going to tell you a story that could make any girl relate.
You know when you are just trying to have a good time, and you put a little extra effort into looking nice, and you feel like a million bucks (that’s a lot of deer’s, btw.) And then you realize you are in the presence of an avid drinker of Haterade, their favorite flavor in this case, “Rain on Lauren’s dreams”. Well not too long ago I found myself in this situation, and I was not as drunk as I wish I could have been to have to be around this person.
I decided that with a little help of the B.F.F. I could completely ignore this person. I mean like totally ignore them, like a CBS comedy. So then as my luck so has it, I found myself not 10 minutes later in a conversation that includes this certain person… Shoot me in the face, right? And then much like the 1993 hit of Tag Team, “whoomp, there it is” an insult out of nowhere.
“OMG. Her hair is a weave.” And that her mentioned… was me!
Just like that, like its just a fact. I was so insulted, that I really had no response. I touched my not fake hair and felt a little bitter pang. Ouch, usually I don’t put a lot of effort into myself. But I put my hair in hot rollers that day. Hot Rollers!!! I was trying to look nice!!! And then I thought if I had RuPaul was actually my fairy god mother, she would have all the words to make me feel better at that moment… all the wisdom I so desperately needed. I think she would have told this person to “Sashay away, and untuck back stage.”
But this time, I really did the right thing, I think. I responded, “My hair is real, thanks.” And I ended it, I dropped the conversation and really felt like a big girl. And left to bigger and better conversations… (So I later OMG’d about it with my friends, and told my sister*, but in the moment… acted I totally acted like an adult.)
But, I’m not so much an adult that I also didn’t take the time to draw about it:
And I realized that this person and I shall never be friends, and that is WAY OKAY with me. I could say something like I learned to be a better person because of this situation. But I really just realized I like myself, and I’m so glad I don’t have to be in Horsetown with that Naysayer all the time! So you know what, I’m going to go on being 5 feet of tangible sunshine over here. And next time I will have a guard Kenneth with me:
Haters to the left, indeed!
♫Lauren
*Side Note: Now my sister wants a weave.
Viciously Sweet 