I go to the bathroom a lot at work. Sometimes it’s because I drink too much water, other times it’s to calm myself from being stressed, sometimes it’s because I have to cry in a private situation… and sometimes:
I can’t be the only person in their mid-twenties thinking about beehives during work hours. Think about how big you could make it… maybe it could hold office supplies… or a switchblade like that girl from La Bamba.
I was briefly worried this doodle would make me sound weird, but we all need a little work relief sometimes… and I know someone who has eaten lunch in the bathroom to escape their office.
This morning I was so excited that I was going to Seaworld tomorrow… only to find out my ticket is not Valid for tomorrow!
At first I thought maybe tomorrow is blocked because of the summer, or some event that involves a private Christina Aguilera Parade, or perhaps Sea World is releasing all their animals back into the world Free-Willy-style and is spending the 4th recapturing them… But then through not a lot of deduction I realized the real culprit is…
FANGUIN!
He’s rather evil, and he’s turning all the fishes against the trainers and what not, they are all just little floating zombies. I hope they don’t get to the mermaids!
♫Lauren
My mother told me a few weeks ago about this woman who has a super fun sounding job. She is a PROFESSIONAL MERMAID!
I asked myself how with all the imagination I have been blessed with… why did I never try to grow up to be a mermaid? And really… instead I chose architecture! I really, really blew it.
I’m putting in a formal request to my history. Small child Lauren, take all your doodles and dreams and craft a mermaid tail. It will change your life for the better. If you are a mermaid, no one will be awaiting your email during a regular 9-5. No one will stick you in a cubicle, no one will make you feel like you don’t belong. Instead you will get to be sparkly and entertain people, and you will get to see outside.
And I think you get to automatically meet Daryl Hannah… or at least get to eat dinner with Tom Hanks, and that would be like a 10,000% improvement in my quality of life.
And if you are a professional mermaid I think you get a briefcase made out of shells…
I think sometimes my cats are trying to get to the Olympics, and as cat owners know there are very few categories cats can participate in. The few tests of endurance made for felines are obviously: sleeping, eating, barfing grass, and pooping.
While Elliott has the silver medal in sleeping on my bed… I’m more concerned about the dreams of my little gray cat Rocket… Here we are while he’s working on his digestion
Rocket goes to the bathroom with the sheer power of Thor. I’m really concerned how if I feed the pets the same amount of food how he can make so much poo. He is like the Carl Lewis of pooping animals. Sometimes I swear he goes to buffets while I’m at work all day… just to make sure that litter box is full by the time I get home…
So I drew a doodle about it, and because I’m more than a little weird I keyed it into the sweet 1985 musical hit by Eddie Murphy:
I have a world of knowledge I need to talk about, but it seems so heavy for a Monday. And much like a plate of steamy meatloaf with a bowl of soup on a really hot summer day… I’m going to choose to have a barbecue chicken and chilly lemonade kind of post instead.
Today I will share a doodle crossover sensation… which is both doodle Lauren and her favorite cactus… Provocative Cactus.
I just realized that we are quite into summer already and there has been nary a provocative cactus post…And having a summer season without a Provocative Cactus is practically illegal in California.
Without further ado I give you the doodle of the summer:
That cactus really has it going on. And I apologize to the children… because just like real life there is about 80% more boob in this picture than what people can usually handle… there is really just no place to hide it.
Tomorrow I may plague the internet with my burdens… but, then again maybe we should just enjoy some cotton candy.
Sometimes studying is really tiresome. This is especially true when you are studying pages of how to reinforce bricks.
There is actually not much in the world more boring than studying to be an architect. And from talking to my friends who are in the same dilapidated boat of studying, I know I am not alone. Hey there study buddies!
But lately when I am perusing my study guides, I keep being attacked viciously by blankets and the Sand Man.
Today for example I only made it through 17 pages of brick patterns and mortar ratings before my eyes succumbed to the sweet allure of my dreams… which were sadly also about bricks.
Maybe after some good dinner I will be a little more successful.
♫Lauren
I am currently fighting the funky fog that rolled into my noggin.
To combat the funk, I have been trying to absorb fun and happiness, like a plant in Norway struggling with photosynthesis in the dark Norwegian winter. Lately, since most things have not been working, I have been listening to some of my favorite songs (on repeat, Sorry Dab)… one of my absolute favorite songs is “Natural Woman” from Aretha Franklin. I used to run around as a child singing every where, much to the chagrin of my Grandmother and parents, and casual strangers. Once there were some old ladies at the market that told my grandmother it was not an appropriate song for a 4 year old to be singing, and she told them I was a child who had “soul”.
For some reason when I hear that song, I feel like I can do anything… and I want to run around in a pink power suit with a beehive as tall as nature will let me, and sing this song in every key except the appropriate one:
Shout out to my homie/ 1960s dream fashion twin- diva category:
Now usually, all my problems can be quickly resolved by ignoring the world and watching girly movies. But as of late, it isn’t working as well as I had hoped. So I switched from just “watching” and decided it’s time to “work” on myself. Basically, if my life were one of those girly movies, right now I would be in the cool montage scene. I’m learning about life, taking great advice from my friends in the areas of their expertise. And I won’t say I haven’t had a few setbacks, but everything is coming up roses for me lately. I have been studying hard, and trying to better my standings in the world and my work place, and being fashionable while doing these things! Hello there, Architectural license tests I’m coming for you! And when I find the right Matt Flamhaff (in the right timeline) I will be well on my way to being 30, flirty and thriving!
I really wanted to find the Clueless-Cher-Soul-Changing montage but, I couldn’t find it… And since I feel very akin to Jenna Rink, she is always a great example for how I feel. Anyways, I would like to thank my friends for being really great, and giving me wonderful advice that I will treasure forever. I will be out of my fog soon, I can just feel it! I just want to say all of my great friends out there, and “Natural Woman” by Aretha Franklin have made me realize:
But, I would be nothing, without all the great people in my life… you give me soul.
My Imagination is still on its trip around the universe. So making doodles has been very hard to do.
I have had to come up with a series that I think I will start tomorrow to power up the good old noggin, and yes it will involve some of the girliest movies under the sun…
Today’s doodle is going into the Lauren’s Big Musical Pun Box… and much like My Hall and Oates joke… it is probably funny to only me and 4 other people… so without ado here’s my totally relevant (if this were the 1970s) Gladys Knight and Pips joke:
Here’s a song to listen to while you stare at my spot on Gladys Knight costume:
And why is there no mash-up on the internet of Gladys Knight as a knight already? I’m disappointed in the other weird people out there.
First I had to make the Significant Otter and now this… come on!
♫Lauren
Viciously Sweet 