Make It Big!

Noel and Liam Gallagher.

The Jackson 5.



All musicians that make beautiful music with their family members. Notice who is not on that list, Christie & Lauren… And for all you jazzy readers out there, that would be me and my sister.

So we may not have the rivalry of Liam and Noel… nor do we have the stage presence of the Jackson 5. Actually we barely know how to play instruments. But that is not the point, it shouldn’t stop our musical dreams.

Christie and I have discussed the possibility of taking our love of WHAM! on the road. And calling ourselves “LADY WHAM! a Wham! Experience”… but we have one very important problem:

Wham! Bam!

Now if my brother wants to be the Andrew Ridgely… We can get this show on the road… but I have a feeling he may not want to… because he doesn’t want to revisit his time with “the mullet”:

But Tony could totally pull this off!
Image Courtesy of: FANPOP!

Anyways, we will probably never resolve this issue… and time can never mend the careless whispers of a Wham! coverband.

Have a wonderful day everybody…. and yes, I would make the better George Michael.


You wanna be starting something?

This week I have started a craze in the office that is Michael Jackson themed.

I cannot for some reason get over the song “You wanna be Startin’ Something” Mostly because firstly it may be the catchiest thing ever recorded. Secondly it has the best insult in it of all time:

“You’re a vegetable”

It can be used in any conversation.


Friend: So. Politically speaking….

You: You’re a vegetable!


Boss: Can you file these papers?

You: You’re a vegetable


Mailman: How are you today?

You: You’re a vegetable


You: You’re a vegetable

Pee Wee Herman: I know you are. But what am I?


Thank you Michael Jackson for making my life more fun than ever before:

And I didn’t color it because it doesn’t matter if it’s black or white!


Where is my mind?

I have been very scattered lately. I have all these ideas floating around on loose leaf paper, and post-it notes. I have accumulated so many of these scraps my desk at work and at home is beginning to look like I’m starring in a remake of “Memento.”

I actually even have physical post-it notes on my phone. and they are written on front and back. I am aware of them every time I pull my phone out… because as many people have told me they make apps that negate my use of actual post-its. But lets just be honest, if I have to click around on a screen to find this graphic post it note… I’m not going to remember it if I’m in a rush. And true story I have digital post-its on that program from May, and those things are still incomplete.

No problem in 3 months I’ll be wondering what I meant by “incandescent toboggan” and your digital reminder will be lost to the world…

You may be saying to yourself right now… why are you having a traffic jam of thoughts in your imagination? And I will tell you, I have let myself get busy. I tell myself that if I get it half done I can finish it later. And later just isn’t showing up. I’m so stressed at work my hair is graying, and I find myself nearly passing out from exhaustion at 7:30. Yes 7:30, I can barely make it past the time the elderly are watching Wheel of Fortune. Also trying to figure out the business end of all the projects I’m trying to start right now is also killing my brain. I realize the reason I didn’t go into business is because I frankly find it confusing. Numbers and marketing? No thanks, I just want to bust out some of my thoughts with the free crayons I got at lunch.

And they are freaking crayola’s… FOR FREE. I FEEL LIKE I JUST WON PUBLISHERS CLEARING HOUSE OF CHILDISH ART SUPPLIES!!!! In my day they would just give you those knock off really waxy crayons… kids these days are all about the name brand.

The only thing that has been calming me the last few art-less days is listening to music. However now my imagination is mixing with the sweet sweet melodies and the next thing I know I am preoccupied with my ideas again, and then out comes another sheet of paper, another post-it. And the vicious cycle continues. You can’t comprehend how much I don’t want to be looking at these ceiling plans and renderings. They are trying to consume me with their evil stringent rules and budgets.

Anytime my coworkers have talked to me in the last few days they first have to break me from the spell of Joy Division, New Order or Of Monsters and Men to get in a word to my brain… and even then it’s questionable if I can soak in what they are telling me. My brain is lost in the music:

Tonight I vow that I will make time for my artistic needs. Hopefully this will clear up my brain so I can get more done for the big Friday rush. And seriously… does anyone have a post it? I have this great idea about a…


Get into my cubicle groove!

If you are a person and were on the internet today… Madonna did a Youtube concert.

I made my coworkers listen to the whole thing… I think my cubicle neighbor was moved to the “Borderline” of insanity as he would not like to hear me play “Material Girl” just one more time… and he’d prefer if I listened to some Led Zepplin instead. He was a good sport to listen to 4 songs in a row before turing on his own music.

And I think on the other side of the office Amber is trying to crimp her hair and get some stretchy bracelets. And the professional is ignoring this not scheduled musical attack.

But come on, what is Thursday without having a Madonna party?

I’m not the biggest Madonna fan, but there is something about her music that makes me smile… some of it reminds me of Childhood, or of Dick Tracy, or All those MTV Music Award shows, and some of it makes me wish I too had a bit of a fake British accent.

And you know what is really wonderful about Madonna>? She could care less about what I am writing about her. And that is something I would like to take from her as a lesson about being a grown up. It’s fun to be yourself… sometimes, it’s better when being you makes people a little mad too.

Now back to my office:

While we are celebrating the magic of Madonna’s music I would like to dedicate a few songs to a few people I work with:

-To Amber I send you “Like A Prayer”, for several reasons… Firstly you like Jesus (thumbs up to the Lord) and secondly, I want to see you dance like this in the office in front of our printers, and I want to drink Pepsi Cola with you:

-To Dabby I dedicate to you “La Isla Bonita” because it’s the only Madonna Song that has Spanish in it that isn’t from Evita. And you are spicy and not Argentinian:

-To the Professional I dedicate “4 minutes” because it seems like a quantitative professional time in it, I think it is the equivalent of like updating a few contacts in your outlook, or just meeting a deadline. And I emphasize that sentence with no humor… because that is the professional way:

And then I dedicate this song to me because I really am feeling what she is saying in this song.
And I need to post it, because our lady Madonna would want me to be honest:

And I’m not sorry… for listening to Madonna for hours in my cubicle either, thanks for making my windowless cubicle a little more fun today Madge!


A Solitary Gull

I have no real post to go with this… so just kick back, relax, and sing the following Gwen Stefani song with these lyrics instead.

A few times flown around this block, so don’t confuse me with that big hawk…

I’m going to go to the great big Pun convention in my brain now.


Corny Jokes with Lauren: Vol. 1

Oh, hey there internet!
Happy First day of May. I’m sure everyone was enjoying all those Justin Timberlake jokes about “it’s going to be May.” But now that we are firmly planted in May… I think we all need a chance to have a highly specific giggle about an 1980s Pop/Rock group “Hall and Oates.”

And yes, just in case you were wondering I’m taking that joke on my new comedy tour called “Things only I find funny”…

Wait, Daryl Hall is totally into this joke too:

It's so true... hahaha. *clap clap*
-- Daryl Hall
photo by: by Matthew Becker

Change that tour title to “Things that Daryl Hall and I think are funny.”

Also here’s the song because I assume you are singing it by now anyways:


Robert Smith: American Hero

This is not my most rad drawing ever… but it is of a doodle of one of my favorite musicians.

This a stunningly accurate drawing of him by the way. Seriously I got his complexion down and his make-up is devastatingly precise.


5 Questionable Song Dedications for Isabel

Good Morning Internet.
I’ve been thinking about those beautiful/hilarious things that you hear when people dedicate songs to someone they are crazy for.
The dj always has a silky 1940s smoking actress voice, and makes even the most disturbing love stories seem magical. For Example (please read the following with that sassy narrator voice in mind):
“Salvador, Erin cares so much for you, that she has asked to dedicate ‘Bryan Adam’s Heaven’ to you to celebrate your 4 day anniversary.”
“This is 18 with a bullet, to Smokey out in San Quentin from Sad Eyes in Monterey Park”

Either one shows the awesome dedication that people have for one another.

Today let’s dedicate some songs to Isabel!

I am going to post 5 songs that would make Isabel mildly to incredibly uncomfortable if you dedicated them to her on radio stations. Give them a try, I will even give you the intro to them… remember its Isabel from San Diego.

1. “Yes hello, this is Lauren and I want to dedicate a song that means so much to my friend Isabel… it will always remind her of that time we stayed up and watched ‘Centerstage’ in the middle of the night after being in a bus while trying to fix our friends t-shirt from exposing her boob while our Physics teacher slept.” (This is not too oddly specific)


2. “This song is dedicated to Isabel, And she knows why”


3. “For as long as Isabel’s and my lives have intertwined I can not imagine a better song to describe her. This is for you Isabel”


4. “Just the thought of being dedicated this R.Kelly Song will make Isabel feel like the only girl in the world.”


5. “This song was written about her by her truest, gingeriest love. A love like theirs is forever and magical… like a unicorn walking during sunset on the beach of love”


Have a happy Tuesday Isabel!