Have you ever met someone who makes your head wobble like a bobble head?
A person who would rather not get what they want because the have something already they are just to lazy to give up? A person who has no sense of adventure or desire to go out in the world and do what they really need to do to make themselves happy? A person that you constantly root for only to have them eternally disappoint you? A person who chooses to live “a life of quiet desperation” like an anecdote of Thoreau? A person who you have no reason to have an affinity for besides the fact that your gut tells you, you should? I have one of those people in my life, and sometimes they read this blog. I must say I find this person fascinating in all the ways they are not anything like me. And I like the way that this person uses logic to always make himself feel like he is doing whats best, but he’s really not living on anything more than a sense of duty. But what I don’t like, is that all time they make me sad.
You may be saying, those are some pretty heavy words for a gal like Lauren. And, I know that I am far from perfect. I laugh a little too much, have self deprecating humor, a head constantly stuck in the clouds, I believe in people and general goodness a little too much, and I am currently drawing a rooster at my desk as we speak. I am a weirdo, I am socially awkward. I wear dresses that never ever hide my cleavage, because I ran out of caring for the constant staring at my person. But I would like to think that try to be a good person. And that I have things in my life that I love and that I choose to have in my life because they make me happy, and I have weeded out things that just don’t. And yes I have made risky moves… like getting nearly kicked out of the program in college for challenging a teacher who was terrorizing non-white students, that time I wore a dress with polka dot underpants to work to find out at about 3pm that my dress was see through. Recently hiking against my doctors wishes… And more seriously ending a relationship of nearly 5 years because we were not suited to go through the rest of our lives together as a couple. And yes it sucked, and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done… but I think I’m better for it (and p.s. I have never worn that dress again with polka dot underwear.)
And life changes everyday, because WE CHANGE EVERYDAY. And that is important, because we are not Garfield comic strips (Urg. Mondays!). And some times we can get everything we want, especially and most easily when it’s presented to you. And sometimes we have to settle for not exactly the thing we need, but we get by. It’s important to know when to take the risk, and when to go for the gold. Frankly I’m 26 years old and I still go for the gold because I think life is too short to not be the happiest that we can. And I make mistakes, LOTS of them… but I learn from them. I would hate to be old and haunted by never getting what I wanted… because I never tried.
And now after all that mire of text you just got through. I present to you life lesson #2 presented by Amber:
Sometimes its as easy as buying a pizza, sometimes it’s as complicated as admitting you want to do something different with your entire life.
5 thoughts on “The Investment”
BRAVO… and LOVE the new banner!
Thanks! It was a hard post for me to make, the whole situation has made my brain wish for a simple explosion of all my memories.
It sounds like we are in the same boat sweetie. I hope everything gets easier for you; you surely deserve it.
I hope so too Teri! Someday all this will be is a silly side-note in my life, but until then… it sucks majorly!