humor

Oh blanket, it’s raining raining!

| Viciously Sweet

It’s a rainy morning out here in the San Gabriel Valley.

I thought about rushing a doodle about my viciousness. But I stopped, because a rainy day has no use rushing.

In fact, I wish I was not working right now… Because today seems like a fuzzy green blanket and staying at home watching cheesy 1980’s sitcoms. I could really stand for a nice simple “Perfect Strangers” marathon right now.

But I have to work to make money to eat and stuff. So doodle Lauren yet again gets to live out my dreams:

I can practically hear her sing:

♫ Standing taallllllllll on the wings of my dreams! ♫

And nothing’s going to stop her now.

♫Lauren

Et tu, Elliott?

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My cat is being nice. Uncharacteristically so, as Elliott is the rudest cat in existence.

Usually I’m almost always at home, and he ignores me unless its time to feed him kitty crunchies. I give him attentions when he demands it (which was only about 2x a week), and then I ignore him the rest of the time. We try to live like civil roommates if you could imagine.

However, lately I have hung up my Amish shroud, and have been going out… and Elliott’s demeanor changed. Now when I get home he wants all my attention… ALL OF IT! He now greets me at the door, and cordially invites me into my house. Walks me to my room. Cries, when I close him out of the door. Now, I cannot sit and eat without him trying to crawl on my lap. I cannot go online without him sitting on my computer. I cannot sleep without him staring with his face next to my face.

This paper looks really interesting... more interesting with me sitting on it! BWAHAHA!

 

Most people would say, awww he loves you! But no, I don’t assume that he’s discovered that I am the best owner, I mean free room and board and poo removal for simply being fluffy (that is a good deal)… Or that he realizes that he could have been an alley cat, with no one to give him fish shaped crunchies, and rub his belly. I think he may be actually plotting against me, like planning on hiring a hitman to keep me from going out, or trying to see how he can make me fall down the stairs and make it look like an accident.

I’m very suspicious of him… so if anything accident like happens to me… I think it was Mr. Kitty.

 

♫Lauren

TMI Award

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The TMI Blog Award honors those blogs that discuss everything in detail and do it well. These bloggers aren’t afraid to discuss their most awkward, embarrassing and intimate experiences with honesty, humor and little to no filter. 

Here are the rules

Thank the person who presented you with award.

Link back to the blogger who presented the award to you.

Share an awkward, embarrassing and intimate in 100 words or less.

Copy and paste the blog award on your blog.

Present the TMI Blog Award to 5 – 10 deserving blogs.

Let them know they have been chosen by leaving a comment at their blog.

Let’s Give Thanks and Stuff:

This is a very special award to me! And its the most special of all the awards of you may receive today! Teri from the Narcissist Blog came up with this great idea to make the snazziest award under the sun, and I was so excited to get to collaborate with her to make the image to correspond with it!

I hope the good people of the internet Enjoy this award!

Now let’s get Awkward

I’m a very awkward creature so, this is really hard.  Once at my friend’s graduation I realized the sidewalk was a bit uneven. But it was more convenient than using the grass while and I was in heels. So I proceeded, telling myself to be wary of my steps… and then it happened, my heel was caught in the sidewalk. I slowly realized I was stuck as I tried to step forward and started to fall. Now there were people close to me, who gave me no aid in not hitting the floor. The next thing I knew my dress was all up in the air, my purple leopard underpants were all up on display and this middle-aged man with teenage kids said “Oh wow, that is so embarrassing.” Then of course when I went to find a seat, they were only a few chairs away talking about how embarrassing it was, as I was dusting sandy gravel from my person.

And then I went to a graduation party looking like I had just been in a stage production of “Street Car Named Desire”… all disheveled, with bloody knees, and a partially ripped dress. It was the nicest way to meet your friends family… Party on, bloody legged girl!

Don’t judge me I went over the 100 words…

Let’s Bring others into our beautiful Circle of Shame:

Jen and Tonic–

Modern Women’s Society -My DNA tested internet Twin!

The Laughing Housewife

Ashley Jillian

The Awkward list

Ashley’s thought

All About Lemon

But that’s for Another Blog

Silly Requests: Architecture Edition

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I work in an architectural firm. If you can believe it… sometimes, they let me design spaces real people occupy. However, no one ever lets me put large tiger tapestries in these spaces… mostly because in our contract’s owners provide the furnishings…

But really what can you do about that?

Sometimes, our clients come in and tell us really crazy things they want in projects. We always try to appease them (they are paying for a space, after all) but sometimes they tell us things that really boggle our minds.

That brings us to today’s doodle:

In the real situation: this guy is a higher up who would rather not walk past reception to get to his office… Take that any way you need to. (I think the sour grapes face in my doodle responds quite well to how I assessed the situation, but that is just my opinion.)

What happened was an explanation of why this would not really work, his office for example is nowhere near a corridor (nor could we make a hallway that lead solely to his office.) However, that wicked side of me really wanted to tell him to propel into his space from the roof… but only doodle Lauren gets to experience this as a reality…

I’m going to go draw stuff now.

♫Lauren

President’s Day w/ Jimmy

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My mind is a never-ending cavalcade of silliness.

So, today in honor of President’s day I give you this doodle of what happens to Jimmy every time this day shows up on the calendar:

The best real part of Presidents day is that I was talking on the phone this weekend when this happened beautiful conversation happened:

Jimmy: [on phone]: I do not look like Abraham Lincoln and now the internet thinks I do.

Me: Well, you are tall and do have brown hair. [to Jimmy on phone]

[Dad walks in room]

Dad: You are talking to Jimmy?

Me: Yeah.

Dad: It’s a big day coming up for him!

Me: What?

Dad: Isn’t it president’s day Monday?

Me: Hahaha. My dad just made a Lincoln joke about you…

Jimmy: Dear God.

 

Have a happy President’s day every one!

♫Lauren

Professional Quote of the Day: February 17th

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Welcome to the Professional Quote of the Day! This is where the internet gets real Professional!

Today Eric (the most treasured Professional in the San Gabriel Valley) got very reflective. And that has nothing to do with his pants that are made of solar panels (which are made up, but I think he’d wear them).

He’s was having one of those moments when he thinking about his place in the world, and his future as a professional. It got very deep, there were a few tears, some resolutions made… and oh yes, about 3 slices of chocolate cake.

But all that led him to this quote, Today’s Professional Quote of the Day:

And then when asked if there was an end to striving for professionalism he said this:

Fun Fact: The Pursuit of Professionalism just goes on and on like the Titanic theme!

Yeah I know that’s technically 2 quotes, but they will be on the test*!

♫Lauren

*And they very well could be as he is a Professional Professor  too! He actually will take any job that has “pro” in the title.

So Close… yet so incredibly wrong

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I’m making this post very brief as I over did it with all those words yesterday.

One of my most endearing quirks* is that I read things like instructions, magazines, and billboards really fast… and sometimes My mind makes up a word or two in the process making thing sound so very strange.  I find myself re-reading things a lot.

For example, this.

And also Fantastic is NOT PRONOUNCED “fanta-stick”.

Here is my latest foray against the English language:

That’s a sub-tile joke!

But in my defense, I work in an architectural office and subway tiling is used a lot… so  it sneakily snuck into my subconscious.

♫Lauren

*I’m hoping somebody thinks this is endearing.

Valengiggles

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I heard my boss on the phone use the term “visually abrasive.” He of course was talking about a finish in a building… I thought to myself keep this in mind and use it when the time is right.

And oh that time is here, on this Valentine’s day. I share this valentine with the whole interent:

Have a Valentines Day!

♫Lauren

Ultimate Hip Hop Legend

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Today is a pretty chill day. In more ways than one, actually.

♥ The air conditioner keeps turning on no matter how much we change the temperature to keep us warm.

♥ I stepped in a puddle and my pants are wet at the bottom, and I keep crossing my legs and making my knees and shins damp and literally chilly.

♥ I can hear the wind blowing about in the trees outside the office, I cannot see this as I do not have a window in my cubicle.

♥I ate 3 of the most delicious wonton’s in the San Gabriel Valley today at lunch.

♥And to celebrate the Grammy’s that took place yesterday, I made this doodle of a Hip Hop Legend:

He’s a really great collaborator, plus he always comes with his entourage in pocket…

CHILL PICKLES.

♫Lauren