Et tu, Elliott?

23 Feb

My cat is being nice. Uncharacteristically so, as Elliott is the rudest cat in existence.

Usually I’m almost always at home, and he ignores me unless its time to feed him kitty crunchies. I give him attentions when he demands it (which was only about 2x a week), and then I ignore him the rest of the time. We try to live like civil roommates if you could imagine.

However, lately I have hung up my Amish shroud, and have been going out… and Elliott’s demeanor changed. Now when I get home he wants all my attention… ALL OF IT! He now greets me at the door, and cordially invites me into my house. Walks me to my room. Cries, when I close him out of the door. Now, I cannot sit and eat without him trying to crawl on my lap. I cannot go online without him sitting on my computer. I cannot sleep without him staring with his face next to my face.

This paper looks really interesting... more interesting with me sitting on it! BWAHAHA!

 

Most people would say, awww he loves you! But no, I don’t assume that he’s discovered that I am the best owner, I mean free room and board and poo removal for simply being fluffy (that is a good deal)… Or that he realizes that he could have been an alley cat, with no one to give him fish shaped crunchies, and rub his belly. I think he may be actually plotting against me, like planning on hiring a hitman to keep me from going out, or trying to see how he can make me fall down the stairs and make it look like an accident.

I’m very suspicious of him… so if anything accident like happens to me… I think it was Mr. Kitty.

 

♫Lauren

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21 Responses to “Et tu, Elliott?”

  1. Cakes McCain February 23, 2012 at 2:48 pm #

    typical male.

    • Viciously Sweet February 23, 2012 at 4:47 pm #

      I laughed so hard when I saw this response. Thank you for making me laugh, before my impending doom.

  2. Fluffy Tufts February 23, 2012 at 2:59 pm #

    Love the cartoon!

  3. Jen and Tonic February 23, 2012 at 4:08 pm #

    Your cat is a total BADASS!!

    • Viciously Sweet February 23, 2012 at 4:49 pm #

      It’s those little fish shaped crunchies that give him all the confidence he needs… to carry out my demise.

  4. Jen February 24, 2012 at 1:35 am #

    Why is it I feel like cats are always looking at me with one eyebrow raised? As if saying ‘You silly human, I could crush you any time I want. Keep feeding me crunchies and you’ll be safe….for now.’

    I don’t want to alarm you, but maybe sleep with one eye open for a while.

    • Viciously Sweet February 24, 2012 at 9:19 am #

      I am so terrified of this. This morning he even walked me to the front door… my days are numbered aren’t they?!?

      • Jen February 24, 2012 at 4:18 pm #

        LOL…I think it may be wise to invest in one of those hidden camera type surveillance thingy’s. Just so you can see what he’s up to when you’re not home.

      • Viciously Sweet February 25, 2012 at 4:40 pm #

        I just assume that he makes small bombs to knock over large objects in my house.

  5. mj monaghan February 25, 2012 at 6:42 am #

    This is a great post, my new-found friend. I too, am home all day. My puppy, Duke, is such a sweet dog. Only like Elliott, he demands all my attention … except when he’s sleeping.

    Yesterday he decided to splash around in the automatic water thingy and spill all over the rugs. So I moved the rug. He did it again. So I put a bowl down instead of “self-waterer-whatcha-callit. I’m blogging away, and, you guessed it – clack, clack, splash. He decides to knock the whole bowl of water all over the floor. Good times … ;)

    • Viciously Sweet February 25, 2012 at 4:46 pm #

      Oh my Elliott once broke an automatic feeder because he would sit there pushing it until little crunchies would fall out. Then he had no food at actual dinner time, it was hard trying to convince him that he shouldn’t try to eat mine. He just really enjoys all of my attention. As I speak he’s sitting on my printer pushing all the little buttons that and its making all sorts of noises. I think he’s making photocopies of nothing…

  6. Bongo February 25, 2012 at 8:35 pm #

    I think you should kick out the cat and get a dog.

  7. Crack You Whip February 26, 2012 at 8:03 pm #

    I have to say I am LOVIN’ the cat cartoon…great post, enjoyed reading!

  8. The Hook February 27, 2012 at 11:37 am #

    Cats.. you can’t trust ’em!

    • Viciously Sweet February 27, 2012 at 12:16 pm #

      No you can’t yesterday I was late feeding him so he tipped over a vase of seashells to teach me a lesson!

  9. glen March 19, 2012 at 4:47 am #

    This is likely the luck of the Irish trying to rub off on the luck of the Amish,… ,,, Heard any clippity clop, clippity clop, clippity clop, BANG, BANG sounds coming from kitty’s room lately?

    • Viciously Sweet March 20, 2012 at 11:40 am #

      No, but I still think he’s plotting something on a cat-ostrophic scale!

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