Corny Jokes with Lauren: Vol. 1

Oh, hey there internet!
Happy First day of May. I’m sure everyone was enjoying all those Justin Timberlake jokes about “it’s going to be May.” But now that we are firmly planted in May… I think we all need a chance to have a highly specific giggle about an 1980s Pop/Rock group “Hall and Oates.”

And yes, just in case you were wondering I’m taking that joke on my new comedy tour called “Things only I find funny”…

Wait, Daryl Hall is totally into this joke too:

It's so true... hahaha. *clap clap*
-- Daryl Hall
photo by: by Matthew Becker

Change that tour title to “Things that Daryl Hall and I think are funny.”

Also here’s the song because I assume you are singing it by now anyways:

♫Lauren

Settling is for Pioneers

When people tell me their goals, plans, and dreams I get so excited… I root for them in secrecy. I am like a “Bring It On” cheer squad in my imagination for other people. I want to believe that if someone believes in you, you can do anything. And then it happens…somewhere down the road they tell me they are just not going to obtain that goal… so they are just going to file it away in a file cabinet of broken dreams.

There is something about that moment when someone else gives up on a dream that makes me really bummed. I want to shake them, and tell them all sorts of sayings about never giving up on anything you really want. Like Kirsten Dunst, when she tells that girl that the cheer team may not be gymnastics but the glory of cheer-leading is worth it. And because in my small view of the world, I think that giving up on things that could cause you incredible joy is what makes people bitter and sad down the road. And maybe, just maybe you will become a rodeo star, or make that piece of art, or save up the money for that thing you desperately want. If you do… there may be no one happier than me to see you get it.

I’m beginning to understand that this is my problem. Sometimes people evaluate what’s important in their lives and maybe the goal is on a completely different level than where they want to end up. And you know what, that is okay. But what I want to stress, I suppose is to make sure it’s because you that chose to shut that down that dream/goal, and not because someone else in your life is telling you that you can’t/shouldn’t obtain your goals. No one else should make you feel guilty for having dreams. I think I got a little specific there. And I just want to say I’m not really great with motivation (I’m no Kirsten Dunst here), but no one wants to be on the Oregon Trail with minimal oxen and malaria… if you know what I mean.

Keep your dreams alive.

♥ and lollipops,
♫Lauren

30 Rock, Chicken and my inner Princess

Today I will keep this posting brief… I have been up to my eyes in work today. So that is approximately 4’8″ of work.

Anyways, I found out that this week it is National Princess week. This new holiday is sponsored by Target, Disney and Julie Andrews. 3 of America’s favorite corporations. And then I thought about how people would celebrate a week devoted to channeling your inner princess. I figured I would be dressed by birds, showered with flowers, be hassled by winsome suitors, and be wary of the fruit I ingest. But that is actually not that different from the other weeks in the year…

So everyone out there, celebrate your inner Princess, or Gaston, or Meeko the racoon! I’m going to go watch 30 rock, and eat chicken!

♥ and Lollipops,
Lauren

The Grouchy Professional

So today I was being very good in the office, working on all the right things, saving and cross referencing all that I have to do… basically being an angel, okay. And then a certain coworker that I may have made into a meme comes on in, and is not so chipper. Being that I rode into work today on a unicorn of cheerfulness and good tidings. I thought I could do a little Lauren-y humor with him. And then I found out that much like a children’s story about a cantankerous coccinellidae I need to make an allegorical story about being grumpy… that brings me to today’s doodle. BTW this is not specific in anyway or is about any one of my coworkers:

or maybe it is.

The moral of the story is don’t be grumpy with the girl who knows Photoshop.

So everyone else out there in the big old internet, I hope you are having a lovely day. And if not… just make sure you don’t peeve a girl who can make a doodle of you in 30 seconds flat.
♫Lauren

P to the S: He’s not so grumpy now that he’s full of the lunch. But still the doodle is done… if you know what I mean.

I’m Loopy: A tale of Fruit and Vampires

In the middle of my loopy adventures. I realized that the pills I have been taking for my back problems have made me unable to retain a thought long enough to draw it… So I sit there with my pen, and draw a literal blank (as in I sit there and draw nothing).

But with inspiration from how much fruit is being consumed in the office this week… I came up with this drawing:

And then because I was loopy, I confessed to my coworkers I don’t understand “Twilight” I only got through 15 minutes of the movie before I decided that if it was a lifetime movie that Vampire would have killed Bella on their date and buried her outside of a warehouse. Where a detective played by Jason Lee would find her body while routinely checking the woods. I have seen too many lifetime movies to see any other outcome. And the worst part is that he would see no jail time because I’m sure the judge would be Jennifer Love Hewitt and I’m sure she would never put anyone in jail because it wouldn’t be nice.

Anyhoo, I digressed again. I hope everyone has a happy weekend… and it’s okay if you like Twilight… please don’t hurt me.

♥ and vampires and fruits and lollipops,
Lauren

Happy Birthday Tony!

There is nothing I like better than a birthday! The only way a birthday can be made is by taking place on Fried Chicken Day… and the birthday on glorious Fried Chicken Day is none other than my Brother Tony’s Birthday! My brother is a totally rad dude, he’s a super talented artist and is an incredible dad and snazzy dancer!

Now the only thing that super rad about my brothers birthday is that he lives so far away, in leafy green Montana. So I don’t get to see his actual face today… and that means I have to make something special happen…

So you know what’s going to happen… a doodle!

Happy Birthday Tony! I hope you had a wonderful day and a fabulous birthday week. I am thinking you need some secret Chinese food to make this week really special!

♥ and Lollipops and Happy Birthdays,
Lauren

Toasty Fashions

Since my return to the internet. I have not even come close to catching up on all the things I’ve missed.

But whilst perusing some of the internets I particularly love I found that Jen from Sips Of Jen and Tonic made a fabulous post about Sakura-Con. And where I have not Con’d in a while I still appreciate it. Read her post here.

And Then when I scrolled down the page of her post I feel like I met my destiny. To clarify she did not have a strikingly handsome picture of Jon Hamm posted on her site… what she did have is a picture of a glorious Toast costume.

This Toast Equivalent of Tom Hanks is brought to this site by Jen of Sips of Jen and Tonic

And it was like this kismet moment that only happens in a Meg Ryan movie. I just knew that someday I needed to be dressed like a toast. That toast is my Sleepless in Seattle, it is my Joe Fox.

And that brings me to sharing today’s doodle:

And because she helped me find the defining moment in my toast loving life I give this tribute to Jen (I hope you like it):

Thanks Jen for giving me this new toasty dream!

Thank you for finding the toast of my dreams!
♥ and lollipops,
Lauren

Being sick and the Mystery Lady

I haven’t been making posts with incredible fervor because I have been straight up unable to sit, for about a week. But now that my leg and back have decided to take a chill pill, I can aptly share with you some of my observations about going to the doctor a lot and being in the streets during the time I am usually at work:
-I discovered I am unfamiliar with sunlight, I hardly see it from my windowless cubicle… but when you are being shuttled from doctor to doctor you see a lot of it. And it is very warm and bright. I had to take my sunglasses out of the case even!
– People who are driving about during the middle of the day are either in this incredible-the-world-is-on-fire rush to get where they are going… or will drive 20 mph on a 45mph street.
-Not one doctor I saw out of like 5 doctors got my sense of humor. Most did not appreciate me telling them my leg felt like a thousand knives were pulsing through my veins. Nor did they like me saying my back cramps were like my nerves going to a discothèque. And none of them liked me asking them if they wanted to sing Huey Lewis songs with me… imagine the possible duets!!!!

But there was something that really grabbed me last week when I was traveling about the San Gabriel Valley during my usual work hours…

There was this girl who completely captivated me and today’s doodle is all about that:

Also, this is why I never write in cursive :)

Tomorrow more doodles! And an it’s inspired by another blog! I can’t wait!
♥ and Lollipops,
Lauren

Tiny Angelic Goats: A Recap of this week

Hey there internet!
I haven’t been posting as I have been under the weather.
I didn’t even realize that I had totally missed this entire week, especially April 9th which is now and forever known as Dia Del Dab… the birthday of the Dab.

I think this means I should say what’s been going on with me. So simply I will say… I have no idea. For the last few weeks I’ve had some irritating sore leg problems, and I ignored it until I woke up pretty much unable to do anything on Sunday.
And by anything… I mean nothing. No sitting, no standing, and no laying down… I couldn’t even go to the bathroom. So as you can imagine… AWESOME EASTER!
I went to the doctor and much like my fellow unicorns… the doctors could not figure what was going on with me besides the fact I was in incredible pain.
After a few doctors visits I was given delectable pain killers, several super cool blood tests, and had to sit in an office that was covered in plastic plants and pictures of Tinkerbell and the Virgin Mary… and the rest of my week has pretty much been like this:

I want to thank people for putting up with drugged Lauren… especially my coworkers who are not paid enough to put up with a girl who is slurring her speech and moving in what feels like slow motion (which we can all admit is more of a Monday problem than a Wednesday problem). And also my poor parents who have had to hear my distressing concerns for the current music career of the California Raisins, stealing all the blankets in the house to cover myself all at once, and for finding me singing Huey Lewis songs to my television.
Anyways. Totally on drugs. Going to draw a section of a building.
♫Lauren

P.S. The Huey Lewis song I was singing was not “I want a new drug” it was this one: