I like to make people really excited about not really exciting things.
I consider it a talent.
Eating and growing vegetables, going to the optometrist, buying hairspray at pharmacy… I can make these things/events seem like the best thing that could ever happen to you. I mean have you been to a CVS… they have everything including hyper ugly statuary! And $.99 plates shaped like dog heads!
So let’s get back to the making people excited part of this story. My mom has been having a hard time with work lately (seriously does anyone like where they work right now?) And I decided in my own goofy gander way to cheer her up.
She doesn’t need any thing… because she makes the little mermaid look like a minimalist. I mean I have asked her to borrow a black sweater a few weeks ago and she has told me I have 8 options, not including the sparkly ones.
So I was like… what can I do to make her smile?
She doesn’t really seem like she wants to go out to a restaurant after she gets home. And seriously I am not into hearing critiques on my cooking (totally different story).
And then I was like… hmmm a doodle sounds great!
And then I remembered how much she loves sea otters. And I remembered how much I like puns. So I made her this:
She bought a frame to hang it up in her house. And yes the little otters are obviously me and my sister. Really great depictions too.
♥Lauren
And I’m big girl excited to take the next few days off and be a tourist in my own town. Stay-cation here we come!
Today’s story is just about how I don’t get things.
I was raised Roman Catholic. I was big time into all doing the communion stuff when I was growing up. I have a rosary by my bed given to me by my grandmother. I love me some gilded paintings of Jesus. I even for like 4 months at 16 thought about being a nun…. Which I later discovered I would have really sucked at (seriously, me not accessorizing to quote the great Cher Horowitz… “As if”). Nor could I really be like an Indiana Jones of religious relic’s (apparently searching isn’t as exciting as Harrison Ford makes it). And last religious confession. There is some Saint Francis statue in my backyard that I am terrified to move because he’s broken… and I don’t know what to do with him, especially since he’s broken. So he can sit there forever according to my logic until he once again becomes a part of the Earth.
Now that I have relinquished this information about me, I would like to say that in no way am I closed off or judgmental about anyone’s beliefs (but I think this blog makes that evident). And one more thing every religion is cool… and no one should use any of their beliefs to make them think they are better than anyone else, or bring others down… because no religion except for Meanology should be into that.
But, back to my story of not really understanding things. Being raised Catholic I have never really understood “Bible Study”. When I was a kid in communion classes, Bible Study was really like studying the Bible. And for that matter I pretty much had my fill of religious learning after my last religion class in High School. It according to me and my friends, was obviously a punishment for all of our sins. And consisted of 5 days a week of an elderly man talking about whatever he felt like. 2 days were dedicated solely to his love of coca-cola products. Other days about the song “Waltzing with Bears”, because the local hillside was on fire. I actually considered it a blessing when our class was interrupted by a fire imposed break. And then when we resumed he would tell us about how he felt about appropriate theater applause, candied apples, and of course how he felt about WWII. After that I never wanted to be an organized studier of anything, especially if I could end up with a lecturer like that.
Well anyways flash forward a few years and here I am. I am constantly hearing that people and my coworkers are going to Bible study. Having a bible study. Attending a bible study weekend. Going to a bible study conference. Leading a Bible Study. Taking a Bible Study to a hot date on a Saturday night.
And here I am thinking that all they do in their spare time is read the Bible. I mean they’ve been reading it for years, they must spend their time quoting thing like about, peace and doves, and puling camels through the eye of a needle. But they never quote the Bible at work!?! Which is cool since this is an architecture practice and not a Bible Study group. And that is how I carried on with my days.
Until Mindy Kaling taught me a little bit about Christianity. In an episode of the Mindy Project she had a Bible Study. And I finally felt like I had an in… my questions about this are all going to be answered. And I get to see Chris Messina in a speedo.
You are welcome.
Oh boy, I pretty much forgot about the Bible Study thing for a moment there. So Mindy’s Bible study. She had wine, and a banner, a nativity, and there was food, and weird paintings of Jesus (both black and white Jesus) and she was playing Amy Grant for mood music. It was actually kind of fun looking:
This is what I imagine my Bible study being like.
Then I told my coworkers about this and they told me that Mindy was lying. That isn’t what a Bible study was. And where I was a little concerned that Mindy was not telling me the truth … I still got to see Chris Messina in speedos. (Bright side of life… right?) Then I was told in their Bible Study they don’t even study the Bible… they just like meet as a group and discuss life, or how to be successful in relationships, and stuff.
And I was like…. WHAT?!??? No multi-racial Jesus pictures? No wine? No Amy Grant?
Bible study is just people hanging out… I guess.
And well even though the whole meeting and discussing life thing is super great….I think the title is misleading, it should be called something else. Like religious people of liked mind’s. But I think that may sound scarier than it actually is. Anyways, I totally know what “Bible Study” is now. Now to go uncover other truths about things!
I think Jimmy is going to be mad at me for posting this.
But I have known him for nearly 10 years and sometimes the things he tells me still makes me burst out with laughter. (But hey, I laugh a lot)
We all have really highly specific things that make us smile. For example: Phil Collin’s to me is like a musical angel who makes everything alright when I hear his voice, and Matt&Kim can save me from 99.2% of despair.
We are not all the same though. This weekend Jimmy shared this musical nugget of joy with me:
It’s the one he choo choo chooses!
And just in case you are wondering what the song that is #1 on the charts in the nation of solely Jimmy:
Somewhere at this very moment… he has this queued up to watch on YouTube.
♥Lauren
P to the S that crisp white doodle paper that all the kids are talking about can be seen, purchased and hugged right here… emnote notebooks!
Today I’m going to tell you a story about when I was in school…
When I was in school I was a good student… which really surprised people because I seemed really unfocused in nearly every lecture class I had.
I just really was good at comprehending the subject matters I studied and once I did… I didn’t have all day to hear the lecturer talk about alabaster in its various applications, I just daydreamed until the hour-forty five had passed. And of course I had read the textbook the day before, so I had all my day to not think about trying to memorize anything but stuff I wanted to.
Now all my daydreaming probably would have been just fine, had I not forced my weird imagination on my friends, especially Jimmy. He wanted to pay attention so badly and all I ever did was distract him. I would spend my time sending him drawings of Jamba Juice cups, Lambs that were striped, and well taco’s and how much I wished I was eating or building a place to hold tacos and not be in that class.
So dedication time… this Doodle goes all the way out to Jimmy who is like many miles away from me right now, but could probably use a laugh:
My favorite part is when he finally gave up on learning and just doodled back instead!
Quite candidly internet, I would list distracting people as one of my finer qualities. If you spend time with me the next thing you know is that it could be hours… or even years. And there is going to be sketchbooks of doodles to go along with it.
Now I must return to some doodles that I am working on like super seriously!
Okay I was super prepared to make another post. I was in it, I was going the distance.
And then I didn’t hit post. Because it just really wasn’t happening in my gut. I felt like there was something better I could share.
And then when I was driving home I realized what it was. Last week in my silly adventures I ended up on this Date Duration Calculator… and I found out today is my 10,000th day!
Because you know I’m a bit of a sappy girl I bring you this doodle:
I’m so happy I got to share some of my 10,000 days with you. Also thanks for making my days super amazing.
And in my super 10,000 day knowledge I have decided I totally am going to live my next 1,000 days like Dolly Parton. Who I have always adored… but the more I learn about her the more I see her as a force of absolute goodness in this world. And really don’t we need more of that? I want to help with that!
Also thanks to Jonathon who understood my joy of 10,000 days. Just to let you know I ate Ice Cream and wore a very sparkly necklace to celebrate it… and did I mention there was a new Mindy Project? Well there was, and my whole day was just wonderful :)
One more thing. Use the calculator and calculate some of your special days. I’d like to see some of your numerical triumphs!
No, not because of Good Friday’s meatless promises.
But because it’s my bff’s for life’s birthdays! And as always I would like to share a little tale about one of the best people I know. I am a very lucky girl to have met Christine in the freshest moments of the new century. She had an impressive vocabulary for a teenager, and at the same time she had the most unintentional orange hair I have ever seen. In fact at the moment we started giggling I knew that I had met someone of significance. And 13 years later we are still gigglier than ever. Now we don’t pass notes in class, but we pass texts during work. And we still play the same word games that tickled our fancy in our teenage years. We may have jobs, family issues, and bills to pay. But when we are together we can be as silly and girly as our hearts desire.
Happy Birthday Christine! You are the best co-conspirator a girl could ask for.
FUN FACT: The 28th birthday is the pirate birthday!
Have the best year ever, Christine. And Happy Christine & Isabel’s birthday.
I find myself prone to flights of fancy more than others. I don’t know if it’s a problem, but it happens every once in a while.
You look at me, and you realize I’m currently not totally there.
We were just having a striking conversation and I was just talking about Sandy’s shoes from ‘Grease’. Or how adorable Paul Rudd is and then… BANG it happens. I’m gone. Where am I??? I’m not exactly sure, but it is the place that all the doodles I draw live at. It’s a really great place, I actually highly suggest everyone should go there. But since you probably cannot I’m going to kind of give you a quick tour.
So picture it, I’m sitting right next to you… Someone interrupts and starts talking about tree triming…
And then I get really quiet… You look at me, and I don’t respond. Where in the world is my brain? My mind has made a daring escape to avoid all the boring you are now listening to. I may even be at the circus eating kettle corn and staring at the sparkly outfits of the trapeze artists. Just wishing I was flying through the air with the greatest of ease:
*smile, blink… continue to stare into space*
Then it shoots into space lands smack! I’m on the moon. I’m looking at the stars from here and boy do they look different. Is that a Jack in the Box all the way down there on earth? ***Checks breifly back into reality***
Are you engaging in this conversation about tree trimming? I have now reached a new level of not paying attention… is there any chicken on the moon?:
*giggles*
And basically if you are still in that conversation I’m ignoring…. let’s chart a submarine and splash into the briny deep. Yep there are fishes down here? I wonder if I could make a space helmet for a merchicken?
*Stares to the left of you*
I’m going to say my lack of attention for really boring things is not my fault… well maybe it is. I just have so many thoughts they all just jumble around until…
*fiddles with paper*
Oh my cats are just so fluffy. But we must return from my brain trip before I am committed. How long have I been gone? Oh, how did we get on the subject of politics? Wait, what? You are going to have to backtrack a little bit for me…
I’m so sorry I just got carried away with my brain thoughts
Annnnnnnnnnnnnd that is what happens to my brain at least once a day.
Do you ever get asked a question so many times you came with a personal FAQ. I wish I did then I wouldn’t have to answer the same questions over and over.
Especially the annoying ones.
So: FAQ’s about Lauren
Are you really that short?
Yes, I am 5′-0″ and I still choose to wear flats. Also I have to cut off like 8″ of pants when I buy a new pair.
Come on… is that a weave?
Sadly, no. My hair is real, and all mine.
Is your personality for real?
Yes, it is. Sometimes I know I’m a little perky for my own good. Conversely, I am also a troublemaker. Mischief and Shenanigans are truly synonymous with my existence.
Let’s be sneaky sneaks!
Does everyone know about that thing that happened to you at work?
Yes, I am that girl that really cruddy thing happened to. And now I like being walked to my car by not creepy people.
Do you just love “Family Guy”?
Sorry, I don’t watch Family Guy, I just don’t get the humor.
Are you really Jenna Rink?
I do like the movie “13 going on 30,” a little too much. And my new coworker sometimes thinks I live her life, but that is only on Tuesdays- Thursdays. But I do plan on being Flirty Thirty and Thriving in a few years.
Pretty much me all day…
Tell us about Enrique Iglesias!
Enrique Iglesias did squeeze my butt when I hugged him. He smelled good and is more handsome that pictures can show him. Also he has a firm grip.
I can touch your butt, and you won’t even complain. But don’t let creepy dudes do it…. okay,
Do you have a boyfriend?
I am single. If you would like to inquire more please see the attached doodle:
And then maybe they will just sulk away and leave me alone in my alone-ness.
But life is never that simple. Actually, I never thought until right now how hard it must be to be Jennifer Aniston. Imagine all the questions she has to answer about how single she is, and how no one likes her… and how Enrique Iglesias never grabbed her butt. I bet her hair dresser is all over her singleness, and so are the waitresses at the restaurants she goes to, her cousins, that really prying Aunt… just can’t get enough about it.
But then again she has all sorts of money and got to kiss Paul Rudd for money… so her life is actually really fantastic.
And, I would trade the entire Enrique Iglesias thing for some Paul Rudd time.
Yeppers… me just all over this. Our hair is just so wavy the possibilites are getting better.
I work in a very special place. I have discussed it many times. There are many awkward mishaps, tears, laughter, and so many broken refrigerators you may think I work in a refrigerator repair shop.
And even though I’m like 10 feet from a broken fridge as I type, I am still pretty sure I am not working in the fabulous world of refrigerator repair.
Yep, that fridge is broken. Welcome to room temperature water for 2.5 months (so far).
Not everything is something to complain about… Our water is deliciously free, and I do have my own stapler. But then sometimes, like at lunch everything is going fine and then all of a sudden everything stops being okay. I sit there and take in all the people I work with ripping on each other. Sometimes I interject, and try to shut it down:
Shut this convo down… for sure!
But a lot of the time I just look to the side and pray that a camera crew is watching us, because there is no way things like should really happen like this in real life.
Wow did I have to learn that about your wife/ girlfriend who irrationally doesn’t like me already? And now I can think about that first the next time I have to see them, after months of successfully avoiding them? I didn’t think presents could get better.
And then there is the general non-acceptance that happens between different people with “different” personalities:
-You have a dream, you may not want to share that sucker… Because there is someone there to generally crush it, while eating a plate of rice and sausages.
-You want to keep anything a secret? Well you might as well just keep that to yourself… otherwise you might as well print it out and hand it to everyone in memo form.
– You just want to say something nasty about someone you spend most of your waking hours with? Why don’t you just do it so everyone can pretend it didn’t happen… or pray that it didn’t…
-Care to talk about highly specific beliefs or political views? Why don’t you just share them with everyone?
– How about harass people? Why don’t’ you just go for it? Why don’t you make them really uncomfortable? How about you do that until they start to cry?
Just keep on keeping on… I’ll be there praying that all of this isn’t really happening:
Viciously Sweet 