My mother told me a few weeks ago about this woman who has a super fun sounding job. She is a PROFESSIONAL MERMAID!
I asked myself how with all the imagination I have been blessed with… why did I never try to grow up to be a mermaid? And really… instead I chose architecture! I really, really blew it.
I’m putting in a formal request to my history. Small child Lauren, take all your doodles and dreams and craft a mermaid tail. It will change your life for the better. If you are a mermaid, no one will be awaiting your email during a regular 9-5. No one will stick you in a cubicle, no one will make you feel like you don’t belong. Instead you will get to be sparkly and entertain people, and you will get to see outside.
And I think you get to automatically meet Daryl Hannah… or at least get to eat dinner with Tom Hanks, and that would be like a 10,000% improvement in my quality of life.
And if you are a professional mermaid I think you get a briefcase made out of shells…
If you are a person and were on the internet today… Madonna did a Youtube concert.
I made my coworkers listen to the whole thing… I think my cubicle neighbor was moved to the “Borderline” of insanity as he would not like to hear me play “Material Girl” just one more time… and he’d prefer if I listened to some Led Zepplin instead. He was a good sport to listen to 4 songs in a row before turing on his own music.
And I think on the other side of the office Amber is trying to crimp her hair and get some stretchy bracelets. And the professional is ignoring this not scheduled musical attack.
But come on, what is Thursday without having a Madonna party?
I’m not the biggest Madonna fan, but there is something about her music that makes me smile… some of it reminds me of Childhood, or of Dick Tracy, or All those MTV Music Award shows, and some of it makes me wish I too had a bit of a fake British accent.
And you know what is really wonderful about Madonna>? She could care less about what I am writing about her. And that is something I would like to take from her as a lesson about being a grown up. It’s fun to be yourself… sometimes, it’s better when being you makes people a little mad too.
Now back to my office:
While we are celebrating the magic of Madonna’s music I would like to dedicate a few songs to a few people I work with:
-To Amber I send you “Like A Prayer”, for several reasons… Firstly you like Jesus (thumbs up to the Lord) and secondly, I want to see you dance like this in the office in front of our printers, and I want to drink Pepsi Cola with you:
-To Dabby I dedicate to you “La Isla Bonita” because it’s the only Madonna Song that has Spanish in it that isn’t from Evita. And you are spicy and not Argentinian:
-To the Professional I dedicate “4 minutes” because it seems like a quantitative professional time in it, I think it is the equivalent of like updating a few contacts in your outlook, or just meeting a deadline. And I emphasize that sentence with no humor… because that is the professional way:
And then I dedicate this song to me because I really am feeling what she is saying in this song.
And I need to post it, because our lady Madonna would want me to be honest:
And I’m not sorry… for listening to Madonna for hours in my cubicle either, thanks for making my windowless cubicle a little more fun today Madge!
I work in a very interesting office.
The people I work with would make great characters if anyone decided to write about them. (Which I sometimes do!) We all seem to be complex creatures, and more than a little out there. But lately, there has been a lot more work and a lot less fun…
Yeah, yeah I have more project responsibility, but quite frankly I’m not an architectural Spiderman.
And then to make it worse, everything has been so quiet in here that I feel my office mates may have been replaced with scarecrow versions of themselves. Just propped up to the computer with an occasional mouse clicking sound being emitted from them.
I cannot exist happily in an environment like this… it makes me very sad and makes me lack any sort of inspiration. Which is a total bummer when you are making spaces for people to work in, I feel like they suffer secondhand depression spaces to work in because, of this lackluster environment I am stuck in. And then I looked around my actual office and realized the actual windowless cubicle I work in is not helping my office depression either, I hardly ever see outside during actual sunny hours. I remember it being very lovely:
Now I’m not completely dissing my office. It is in a great location… once you get outside. And by that I mean, it’s next to a bar. And my boss is wonderful and I work with a couple of really great people. But really, the walls that block the vision from the windows seems like a cruel joke. The fact I am the only person that doesn’t have a window… is a crueler joke. Why did the person who drew up this building hate people so much, why not make sitelines so I can see the beautiful mountains just outside the building? Why did you set the lobby on the most blinding side of the building? Why has no one ever replaced the pink marble tiles that have cracks big enough to get your heels stuck in? Why is everything outside of our rented space mauve and brown?
It’s not like I need the circus at work.. I just need a little more joy.
I am currently fighting the funky fog that rolled into my noggin.
To combat the funk, I have been trying to absorb fun and happiness, like a plant in Norway struggling with photosynthesis in the dark Norwegian winter. Lately, since most things have not been working, I have been listening to some of my favorite songs (on repeat, Sorry Dab)… one of my absolute favorite songs is “Natural Woman” from Aretha Franklin. I used to run around as a child singing every where, much to the chagrin of my Grandmother and parents, and casual strangers. Once there were some old ladies at the market that told my grandmother it was not an appropriate song for a 4 year old to be singing, and she told them I was a child who had “soul”.
For some reason when I hear that song, I feel like I can do anything… and I want to run around in a pink power suit with a beehive as tall as nature will let me, and sing this song in every key except the appropriate one:
Shout out to my homie/ 1960s dream fashion twin- diva category:
Now usually, all my problems can be quickly resolved by ignoring the world and watching girly movies. But as of late, it isn’t working as well as I had hoped. So I switched from just “watching” and decided it’s time to “work” on myself. Basically, if my life were one of those girly movies, right now I would be in the cool montage scene. I’m learning about life, taking great advice from my friends in the areas of their expertise. And I won’t say I haven’t had a few setbacks, but everything is coming up roses for me lately. I have been studying hard, and trying to better my standings in the world and my work place, and being fashionable while doing these things! Hello there, Architectural license tests I’m coming for you! And when I find the right Matt Flamhaff (in the right timeline) I will be well on my way to being 30, flirty and thriving!
I really wanted to find the Clueless-Cher-Soul-Changing montage but, I couldn’t find it… And since I feel very akin to Jenna Rink, she is always a great example for how I feel. Anyways, I would like to thank my friends for being really great, and giving me wonderful advice that I will treasure forever. I will be out of my fog soon, I can just feel it! I just want to say all of my great friends out there, and “Natural Woman” by Aretha Franklin have made me realize:
But, I would be nothing, without all the great people in my life… you give me soul.
I have been a little out of sorts lately. I think it’s because I need to watch cheesy romantic comedies, and eat ice cream (hello, weekend). I need to embrace the things that make me, the giggly Lauren I am. Instead of avoiding them like I have been doing for the last few weeks. I like being silly and this doodle just illustrates the point (that was a pun):
Have a snazzy weekend! I know I’m going to!
♫Lauren
I have been discovering lately that people are having the worst and most boring conversations ever conversed around me.
And since I work in a cubicled heaven… I can take a lot of boring. But for this month I have reached my quota of stuff I don’t want to hear about. I had previously made a post about how to engage me in conversation… but now I’m thinking I should print it out and hand it to people who tell me stories I am not interested in!
Things I recently discovered I don’t care about:
-Purple vests… unless they are on Joseph Gordon Levitt, I’m not interested.
-Social events I’m not invited to… seriously, rude!
-Some other boring third thing. I’m sorry, my brain went to sleep because of the boredom I have been suffering through.
On a doodley side note: I wish I really had all these costumes, because everything would be so much more fun… people would be more concerned that there is a grown up woman dressed like a 1980s cartoon character, and they would not feel the need to tell me a 10 minute story about how they think they should MAYBE go to the dentist.
Can somebody tell me one exciting story?!? Or at least buy me candy while they tell me a sucky one?
I was feeling a little more vicious last week than sweet, so I hid in a cave with the Phantom of the Opera until the fed-ex man of my emotions showed up with a new box of sweetness.
And while sitting there with my new freind Phanty I tried to reflect on what I needed in life. What can make this Lauren incredibly happy? What is it that I really need? After watching Season 2 of “Samantha Who”, I discovered a few things I need:
– To let myself realize that I am going to make mistakes, and not to overburden myself with them
-To finish reading Pride and Prejudice
-To take my tests to get my Architectural License.
-Actually go kayaking, hey there Isabel.
-To Do whatever else I please, with a smile on my face.
-Eat a boat load of pastries
Jolly Hollers Internet!
I have fallen off the scan-your-doodle wagon. I have a bunch of doodles I really just need to get on their way. I think this one is one of the most culturally important doodles because it shows a turning point in history.
Me, the worst Spanish speaker in recent history, besides my sister. Actually knew something in Spanish my coworker the Dab had no idea about it. (And Dab is the Spanish Master.)
So mark it in the records 6-4-12, was the day I knew more Spanish than… the Dab.
I will celebrate it every year. With joy and fervor. I will commemorate it with one pristine churro. I however do acknowledge that this doesn’t compare with me thinking ghost in Spanish was “El boo Hoo Hoo”.
Today has been a busy day at work. Really really busy. It’s a day that will go down in history as “pretty darn busy.” It was also the kind of day that separates professionals from the… not professionals.
And let me be the first to tell you… I’m on the professional side.
Everything now makes so much more sense. The files seem much fuller, the text more encrypted than even before. Pixels more squarer than they have ever been… The codes for LA County crisp, as a magnificent apple in my mind.
If I were like a zany professional teen, I would write this down in my hello kitty diary quicker than anything ever before, but I’m too sophisticated for that… I have the power of doodles:
And everyone take note that it was a CC:’d email, not a BCC:’d email so it was no secret!
Viciously Sweet 