2012

A Professional Hybrid

| Viciously Sweet

There have been some new crazes happening all over this office. Amber and I have new eyeglass prescriptions! I’ve become addicted to grilled shrimp salads at the restaurant next door to us! And Dab and the Professional have become obsessed with paintball!

They talk about it, buy fancy equipment, make secret handshakes about it, and go to special meetings.. maybe I exaggerated on the last two parts… but, then again maybe I didn’t…

Anyways Eric being the true professional he is is trying to combine his new hobby with his current echelon of professionalism. Basically he wants to be the James bond of the paintball world. He wants to be a Professional with a license to… paint? Or a paintballer with a clear future in the professional arts? I’m not sure, but here he is living the dream:

Also I hope our next renderings involve him creating drawings with different colors of paintball paint… I have a new dream happening in my noggin now.

♫Lauren

I regret nothing!

| Viciously Sweet

Right now I’m sitting in my cubicle. I kind of have to go to the bathroom. I was just kind of thinking about my recent greatest hits and decided to share some of my silliness with the good people of the internet:

-Yesterday, I sat on the floor with Nancy talking about shapes (for a design competition). It made me feel like a small child, and a grown up all at once. Inverted Rhombuses for life!

-I saw, encountered and very recently blocked a man’s phone number who looked precariously like Zach Efron. He was in fact so handsome I didn’t trust him when I met him… but, then I learned a little more about him and trust him even less. And yes people I discussed this with, he is as shallow as I imagined his pretty face to be.

-I went to a birthday party for one of my friends parents (who I have only known for about a year and a half) and in a room full of his friends and family, I won the trivia contest about his life.

-I got asked for my phone number while in a hospital gown…

-I didn’t eat a pizookie… which for international readers is a very large cookie that is made in a pizza tin. But I wanted to and plan on doing so very soon.

-I got in an argument with a Rooster. I decided to write a song about him in the Key of “Rock Lobster” from the B-52’s, it will be called “Rude Rooster.” As you can glean, he was not a gentleman.

-Some stranger on the internet called me “hot face” which only makes me think that I may have a fever or something.

– I got a free tote bag for buying a frozen drink, and I felt like a winner. I also have already used that tote bag at the beach, aka the only place tote bags want to be.

-I met a bird whose name was “Bird Lancaster,” I laughed with reckless abandon. And I wondered if he was the “Birdman from Alcatraz”… which is a Burt Lancaster joke ;)

And I have come to this conclusion:

Here’s to another odd and fabulous week!

♥ and lollipops,
Lauren

That’s What Friends Are For…

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Much like a Dionne Warwick jam, it is really great to spend time with your friends. Especially if your friend is Rupert Evert singing “I say a Little Prayer For You”. Oops wrong song reference… and on the note of Rupert Evert, I sent him a friendship bracelet in 1998 and he’s never gotten back to me. He must be so excitedly wearing it that he forgot to send a thank you.

As always I digressed.

But this weekend a conversation happened between me and Christine that just shows you the magic of friendship. And if it were crafted into a 2 hour movie… it would win all the awards.

I present to you today’s doodle:

I imagine the movie based on this doodle starring Kate Winslet and Penelope Cruz, in the roles they were born to play.

However I would like to point out today is Amber’s birthday and she will have a smashing doodle on this page tomorrow. Happy Birthday Am-bear.
I am just too busy with all this work silliness to make a proper doodle today… but oh tomorrow there will be doodles!!!!
♫Lauren

You Are So Professional to Meeeeeeeeeeee

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Today I felt inspired by a coworker to get down with my inner Weird Al. I was going to take a song from popular culture and craft it to fill the void in this simple office environment.

I feel now like I’m in front of a crowd of fans on a smoky stage. I am crafting words into a precise moment. Capturing it and sharing it with the good people of the world. Now let me break it down to you those lyrics are to the Joe Cocker song “You are so Beautiful”. And that coworker… is the most professional one out there.

I’m sure he’d tell me not to post this because it will get him in trouble with other professionals out there, or some ladies or something. But, I cannot oblige in this must be shared because you Eric… are so Professional to me.

I can’t even make it to the end of the song without crying on my binder clips.

♫ He’s so proficient…. To me
He completed all his deadlines…. he even had TIIIIMMEEE to PROOFREEEEEAD”♫

I have a feeling that Eric will not be amused by this, in fact when he sees this post I’m pretty sure this is going to be his reaction:

He may not be amused. But *tear tear* he’s so Professional (*tear) to meeeeeee

♫Lauren

Happy Tang-iversary!

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This weekend was all about Mother’s and such. So shout out to all you mothers out there (that made me feel like I was on TRL). But this weekend also held other precious events like the 30th birthday of the most darling of all Nancy’s.

So today I will share with you 10 awesome facts about Nancy:

1. She is the master of buffets, this girl knows about eating all the delicious foods while still eating ample servings of vegetables, fruits and the incredibly necessary cake.

2. There is no one else I could imagine being fake engaged to on Facebook but her… we like when people congratulate us.

3. Nancy always fights for her rights. Every time there is something that just isn’t right, Nancy will be there with rationality and spicy anger. She is like a Magical Tangier Avenger. If she were a super heroine I think her name would actually be “The Tangy Avenger”

4. When we combine our artistic powers together we either get the best thing ever… or the most terrifying project you have ever seen. There is no middle ground. And no I cannot post pictures of our creations due to an agreement with Nancy, but I can say it does have giraffes.

5. She is a third degree Toast Master. She even as a Toastmaster made a speech about toast, while wearing a toast pin. That is like the matrix of toasts…

6. She is one of the funnest people to giggle around the world with. We were so famously giggle-glued to each other in college that people would interchangeably confuse us.

7. Sometimes if you convince her, she wears color… lately she’s been like a primary color dream.

8. She has no problem being a goof. Please refer to the picture of her in a Mickey Mouse hat holding a dinosaur in the sidebar of this site.

9. She wins awards like crazy. One of the awards she won was being the best project partner I had in school. I think she may be more proud about her work awards though.

10. Nancy may be a psychic because she always has things figured out before anybody else. (Also see #3, because this may be her secret power).

There are so many other rad things to add about Nancy, but I do not want to incriminate anybody. Especially myself. Rock on Tang-a-lang! And have the best birthday week ever!

♫Lauren

World Domination with Extra Cheese… Please

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The title of this post is kind of verging on Evil Steve Urkel territory. But don’t worry there is none of that Stefan Urquelle stuff happening here. I just woke up this morning brimming with confidence and purpose. I even blasted through getting ready this morning because the world was just waiting for…. ME!!!!!!!!!! (That was my best Elle Wood’s scream, btw.)

But by the time I got to work after encountering every red light, (and some extra lights I think the city stuck into the roads today…) I had lost that spark, and for about .002 seconds I was totally lost. And then a new desire now coursed through my veins:

Tonight… there will be pizza!
♫Lauren

Missfit VS the Boys Club

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I am a little weird. I am 26, I like to listen to Phil Collins at work, I am pop culture obsessed, I can talk in song titles (shout out to Jen & Tonic), and I have a cubicle that can rival the childishness of any Pixar employee. Problem is I don’t work for Pixar. I work in the “real world” and the “real world” is not like that Matchbox 20 music video with the same name.

The real world is kind of serious, and also has stupid social rules. Like no limbo-ing during the 9-5. Or actually maybe just my office. It’s such a boys club up in this office that it’s very obvious that sometimes me and the Amber just don’t really get what’s happening.

I think our new sashes demonstrate this:

I think there is nothing we can do except create an X-Men like community… I’m going to say I want to be Jubilee she gets a yellow jacket.
♥ and Lollipops,
Lauren

Unexpected Meatloaf

| Viciously Sweet

Today’s doodle is a part of the great things I have written down series. So the following may be a little weird:

Sometimes I let my mind wander… and it comes up with slightly off stories that make complete sense to me. Like, “unexpected meatloaf”. You could just imagine it… walking into a church and it’s pews being made of meatloaf, or winning a brand new car and finding out its really just car shaped meatloaf, or going to the County Fair and seeing the “Tunnel of Loaf”.

I think you get the idea.

Here is the doodle that sprung from this thought:

But really we shouldn’t stop there…Since this meatloaf was unexpected… what would have been my original intentions to go to a well. What would I need that water for? What if I was getting that water to make a refreshing drink and all I got was meatloaf?

When life hands you meatloaf:

And then my mind wandered to who would drink this concoction? Who do I know that likes both meatloaf and lemonade mixed drinks this much? Oh yes the only person who would drink meatloaf lemonade, the Professional:

This is so loafy!

And that is my brain thought for today, and also this is a really clear explanation of why my note taking for future doodles doesn’t always make sense.

♥ and Lollipops,
Lauren

STOP! Drawing Time!

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I’ve been feeling a little scattered lately. My thoughts are racing, and I cannot even keep up with the ideas that I have swirling around in my noggin. So I keep telling myself, just write down your ideas in a clear manner and you can make the doodles later…

Then I look at my paper and it’s riddled with these half thought mysteries like: “Lobster show” or “that weird thingy” or “Snuffleupagus” and I have no idea what I was supposed to draw that was at the time so very awesome.

So I have learned that when I want to draw something I should stop everything I’m doing and draw. Just. Stop. Everything. This is great for doodles, but it may affect my work/life quality:

I hope I never want to draw something when I’m driving.

♫Lauren